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Jun 5, 2018, 16 tweets

1/ Thread: @FLOTUS might have emerged at the White House after an absence of 24 days, (…) but where has she been? As @RexHuppke notes (…) Melania has been recharging with her #BeBest friends, the Obamas.

2/ Ever since day 1, the job has been tough and it must be life sapping.

3/ But ever so kindly, the Obamas were there for her. Here you can see them consoling Melania on her next 4 years.

4/ As time went on, Melania became less and less tolerant of the “Dear Husband”.

5/ Especially when #TrumpCo revealed he’s been paying off his 53 porn star mistresses, Melania probably had enough.

6/ Melania yearned for the wholesome family she always wanted and she makes amends. Melania apologizes for all of her crazy birther nonsense from a few years ago (). You can even see Barack jokingly asking for her certificate ().

7/ The last straw for Melania though, was from after her quick surgery, #TrumpCo’s heartless message after her return. The worst part? “Melanie” was a cruel name #TrumpCo gave her.

8/ “Melanie” had to escape. She knew where to go. With the Obama safehouse only a few miles away, under the cover of a sundowners induced coma for #TrumpCo, Melania was free!

9/ This wasn’t without Melania altering her appearance and donning costume to evade her handlers; she quickly found a fitting disguise.

10/ Pickup established, Melania could relax, despite the media wondering why it was “Weekend at Bernie’s” at the White House.

11/ Fun for the Obamas to have Melania, Melania also enjoys feeling what a normal loving family is like.

12/ M&M built a fantastic daily routine: Pilates at 9 with Michelle-

13/ After Pilates, golf and/or organic Açaí bowls for lunch with Melania’s adoptive family.

14/ and hobbying around in Michelle’s organic, Oregon Tilth certified kitchen garden where all of the produce goes to the local Shriner’s hospital to help kids in need.

15/ All good things must come to an end- reluctantly Melania had to return “home” from her vacation with the Obamas to attend to her business (aka prenup) arrangements. You know what they say- only leave with memories!

16/ Melania sends—- “Thanks Obama!” /end.

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