Thread by @IWriteAllDay_

I saw the lovely @FilmFatale_NYC's tweets this morning and I cannot believe I am about to do this, but here we go:

Saying that the MCU's Tony Stark is a "walking embodiment of toxic masculinity" is not only completely off-base but you would have had to WILLFULLY ignore Tony's arc and every movie Tony had been in this far to make this argument.

Like complete ignorance at this point.

Like don't misunderstand me. I have hellllllllllllaaaaaa problems with Tony still. Like hella problems. Like one day, when I have time, I hope to write a piece on him that details what exactly my issues are without any of the condescension I've seen directed this character's way.

(Case in point I agreed w/ the idea of the Accords. But I was never okay with the fact that we didn't acknowledge they were being drafted mainly because of his fuck ups or that we didn't acknowledge the potential of a government like the US using this against POC gifteds but w/e)

That said! However you feel about Tony, you can't just ignore that the man does be having good intentions despite his fuck ups 🤷🏾‍♀️. You can't ignore that or his character just to support your week ass points.

Also, as @FilmFatale_NYC, toxic masculinity is a thing that is so not unique to the character. Or [Male] Superheroes in general. But EVEN THEN, I don't think any other character has done more legwork to unpack those kinds of ideals besides Tony (and hell, Steve!).

Like, if we're gonna make bold accusations like that, let's start with definitions!

Wikipedia defines toxic masculinity as "adherence to traditional male gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys/men to express..."

"...including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the "alpha male") and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger."

Geek Feminism defines toxic masculinity as:

"One of the ways in which Patriarchy is harmful to men. It refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth."

Now...per this definitions, Tony totally occupies them in the first movie--PRIOR to his "incident" in Afghanistan. After that point? He literally spends the entire movie and thereafter trying to undo the things he did while caught up in that toxicity.

That's all this man has been doing! Other than that? He is perhaps THE most emotional person here (seriously, I discuss this with @DisYoGrandPappy all the time that he's always about to do something emotionally rash when that bottom lip starts quivering lol).

And do you think a man who believes in rigid "traditional masculine ideals" of dominance and etc would have handed over the reins of his ENTIRE Fortune 500 company to his female secretary/friend/lover because he KNEW she was more capable?

Hell no! Super Alpha Male Tony would never!

And like, I have my thoughts (and they are strong) about how Peter got involved in Civil War, but the fact that Tony is quick to fix that by assuming some kind of mentor/fatherly role to him (post-Uncle Ben) should tell you all you need to know about this character.

And hell, even during that (& I almost missed it until @DisYoGrandPappy pointed it out because he said it SO quickly), Tony acknowledges he is trying to do better by Peter and "break the cycle/pattern of abuse" (and most likely toxic masculinity) that his own Pops wrought on him.

Like if we really wanna talk about toxic masculinity in the MCU, that shit needs to start with HOWARD STARK (and fathers in general). That man was awful! In every way. To his wife, his kid, other people.

Oh my goodness.

The only one spared was Steve!

Like, I am all for spirited and healthy debate. And I can spend all day talking about how ALL of the Avengers are ass in their own way. And how this asstasticness (not a good thing) can be exacerbated in the WRONG hands (yes I am talking about Whedon and AoU 🤷🏾‍♀️).

But what I will not tolerate is straight up slander and lies.

Tony is an easy target/character to criticize. I will admit this. But lolololol you got me fucked up if you think I am not gonna ask you to come CORRECT when criticizing him.

Now if we REALLY wanna have a conversation on toxic masculinity and superheroes, ya boy Bruce Wayne is right over there 💁🏾

You would have to be a complete fool to ignore the work that has been done on all of the MCU's main superheroes to deconstruct and demystify what it is to "be a man".

A complete FOOL!

But considering that the inflammatory tweet that started this "debate" (read: slander) is coming from the SAME person who has this weird Get Out Dad™ hard-on for Black Panther and wanted him to cover like 99.9% of the #InfinityWar poster, I can't say I'm shocked 🤷🏾‍♀️

Eff you and eff the fake woke points you're trying to score by kissing T'Challa's butt and shitting on Tony (which, for once, is undeserved)!

Cc @threadreaderapp, unroll this please.