(1/6) Here's the story. I was talking to the pigeons on Cedar Street this morning. They're not usually nice to me but today they called me over and let me in the circle. The group was talking about that dumb squirrel, Carl, from Kellogg Park trying to climbside of UBS building.
(2/6) Apparently, Carl was fleeing from the St. Paul Falcon yesterday. He panicked and ran straight up the side of UBS before being picked off by the falcon at 2nd story. (RIP Carl) The pigeons couldnt believe it. Talking about how impressed they were that Carl even had ability
(3/6) to scale a building. So, I'm sitting there listening and I'm thinking to myself 'I could do that... I've been lifting...I've been watching Ninja Warrior.' Then the pigeons start asking me how high I could get. They're pumping me up. I put on my headphones, Wu-Tang blasting.
(4/6) Next thing you know I'm climbing. Straight up ninja style. The pigeons are yelling, the crowd is gathering. I am the St. Paul Ninja Warrior! One story, two, three...ten.. Then it got scary. I had no choice but to keep going! I don't know what happened.
(5/6) I just wanted the pigeons to accept me in the group. They're so cool... Now my street cred is gone, I'm stuck, kinda hungry and I'm gonna miss America's Got Talent!
(6/6) but I'm feeling all the love online! I have faith my human brothers and sisters will help me. Spread the word! Send the marines! Stop the light rails! Block the highways! Call Trump!
Can someone set up a TV on the other side of the glass for me?
#mprraccoon
Can someone set up a TV on the other side of the glass for me?
#mprraccoon
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