Cyndy Etler Profile picture
Jul 9, 2018 18 tweets 9 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
1/thread: Had a brain-shattering convo with a teen about #pronouns. I think many adults poo-poo 💩 the topic, but I [an adult by any measure] have some alternative thoughts🙋.
2/thread: Alot of what the teen said was hard for me to understand. Ie, sometimes the teen prefers she/her; other times they/them. I was like, "How do we know which? How do YOU know which?" 🤔I could understand why older, set-in-their-ways folks wouldn't at ALL get it👀.
3/thread: But THAT thought--how older generations were raised with pretty linear🙈, narrow🙉, "accepted roles" 🙊(for men & women; for Americans & "foreigners," etc) made a💡turn on for me.
4/thread: I'm not of a generation that is super-restrictive as far as who can do or be what, but I'm 2 gens older than today's youth. Seems to me each generation tends to get more #woke, closer to accepting people AS THEY ARE, no judgement👸👼🤴👳👶🤖...
5/thread: and if that's true, today's teens' discussions of pronouns are like, a next step in that evolution. Ie: if prior generations had been socially free to consider more notions of who & how they are, maybe we wouldn't have just "he" 👖 & "she."👗
6/thread: Reminder: 5 tweets back I was like, "I don't understand her/their POV." I'm not someone with an agenda; I'm someone trying to understand humans.😘
7/thread: Thinking on prior generations not having social permission to even CONSIDER anything outside of he/she [& for many, if it's not socially acceptable, it's not even a THING. It's less real than the boogie man], I wondered, would I have called myself straight-up "she"?
8/thread: And here's, like, my #comingout party: I realized, maybe not. I've always known I'm not a will-o-the-wisp, easily-frightened, big-man-please-help-me "typical" female. I've always said, "I think some women have more testosterone than the average woman. I'm one of them."
9/thread: "...That's why I prefer boxing & weight lifting over ballet. That's why I'm not afraid to walk at night alone in dark alleys. That's why I'm never afraid to voice my opinion. That's why I don't shutup & let the man talk."
10/thread: When I was younger, it made me insecure. Why didn't I get asked to dance💃? As I got older, it made me confident: IDGAF what you think, because sheep🐑 are boring. Finally a @fakedansavage column gave me a name for it: I'm a female with masculine swagger. Okay, boom👊.
11/thread: (For the record, I think my husband fell in love with me for my take-no-shyte 'tude. He's strong enough in his self-perception that he wants a partner who challenges & interacts with him intellectually, not one who yes's, "serves" & (gack) "obeys." I got a good'un.)
12/thread: So in my convo with this teen, I said, "Huh. For 1/3 of my life I went by my middle name, the gender-neutral 'Drew,' because it felt like a more accurate fit than 'Cyndy,' a cheerleader's name."
13/thread: Then I got this big headache & went to 🛌because it's all so hard to think about. But when I woke up, I had this slice of an idea: maybe gender is on a spectrum, like Autism. & maybe my genetic/psych makeup is somewhere north of the far-far feminine end.
14/thread: & maybe TONS of adults are somewhere in the middle, just not so far they've felt compelled to dress/live as another gender. But maybe if they'd had pronoun options as a socially acceptable option in their formative years (or GOD, if being #trans was 👌)...who knows?
15/longest thread ever created: So yeah. Maybe us adults need to open our minds & ask teens to explain their thoughts/feelings/realities. On pronouns & everything else. Because maybe we're not too old to learn after all. & maybe they know what we're too blockheaded to understand.
Hi @threadreaderapp - Will you please unroll this? Yes, I say please when speaking to an app.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Cyndy Etler

Cyndy Etler Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @cdetler

Jun 22, 2018
1) A friend posted that he wanted facts to understand why these immigrants claim to be seeking asylum. Said he understood them to be coming to the U.S. seeking more opportunities. As a teacher of immigrants, I had facts to offer. Please read & RT #ImmigrantChildren #Immigration
2) Teens who make it across the border are literally carved up. Chunks of their bodies gone, knifed from their flesh, for refusing to join gangs. Gangs kill their siblings, to make clear they'll do it, then force a gun into kid's hand. "You kill this person, or we kill you."
3) Kid says no, gets chunk knifed out of their body, & gets told, "We'll be back to give you another chance to use this gun. Think hard." Kid doesn't want to kill; kid doesn't want to BE killed, so kid finds a way to get across the border & seek asylum.
Read 12 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!


0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy


3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!