Okay allies, I just had a productive conversation with a well-meaning white friend about microaggressions. This is how it went.
Her: Sends me article about racism written by black man with this text "Smart, articulate man who expresses his experience fabulously!"
Me: It's a great article. I want to ask you something. Bear with me.
Me: It's a great article. I want to ask you something. Bear with me.
Me: So, if the writer had been white, would you have identified him as a smart, articulate man?"
Her: ...
Me: Really think about it.
Her: ...
Me: You're thinking. Thank you!
Her: ...
Me: Really think about it.
Her: ...
Me: You're thinking. Thank you!
Her: I can reflect more, but I think so. I appreciate smart, articulate people and typically describe people in those terms. But I can sleep on it and can back to you.
Me: Sends article "You're So Articulate: Why Microagressions Wear People Down"
Me: Sends article "You're So Articulate: Why Microagressions Wear People Down"
Her: I will read.
Me: 🙏🏼
Her (a few minutes later): I think you're right about microaggressions. I will examine this more carefully.
Me (to myself): ONE AT A TIME. SMALL VICTORY. #ShowUp
Me: 🙏🏼
Her (a few minutes later): I think you're right about microaggressions. I will examine this more carefully.
Me (to myself): ONE AT A TIME. SMALL VICTORY. #ShowUp
There's more!
Her: In my case calling the author articulate could be classified as a microaggression, I guess. However, I would never describe him that way to his face which to me would be definitely a microaggression.
Her: In my case calling the author articulate could be classified as a microaggression, I guess. However, I would never describe him that way to his face which to me would be definitely a microaggression.
Me: But even though it’s not to him it perpetuates amongst white people the idea that it’s usual for a black writer to be articulate.
Her: Right. Have to be mindful of how you speak even when it’s indirect.
Me: ...
Her: Right. Have to be mindful of how you speak even when it’s indirect.
Me: ...
Me: I guess I mean it’s not what we say but why we say it. Like what biases we hold that we don’t realize.
Her: Exactly. Have to think about what you're thinking.
Every conversation matters. #ShowUp
Her: Exactly. Have to think about what you're thinking.
Every conversation matters. #ShowUp
*unusual
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