Thread by @PGeeman

1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 210 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs. Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word.

2. If you missed the last episode, we discussed the topic- ‘I’m married but I’m falling for someone in the office. I can’t quit my job because it’s a good one but I don’t know how to manage my feelings.’ If you missed it, get it here bit.ly/2LSbeDp #MrMrsBetterHalf.

3. This week’s episode addresses a single guy’s dilemma. “I’m interested in 2 ladies. I don’t want to lead them on but the problem is that they are both great and I can’t choose. What do I do?” #MrMrsBetterHalf

4. Now, ladies, I can imagine some of you are rolling your eyes in disgust- but before you judge him to be a player, it happens to all of us. Sometimes you go shopping and you find two things you like but find it difficult to choose one. #MrMrsBetterHalf

5. The truth is that being interested in 2 ladies isn't the problem; it is stringing them along that is the problem. When you start paying someone interest that’s beyond casual friendship with no follow through you’re likely to break her heart. #MrMrsBetterHalf

6. By the way, even though guys are generally guiltier of this than ladies are, women have also been known to string guys along. Sometimes the guys are even aware that they are in a contest for the lady and still play along anyway. #MrMrsBetterHalf

7. By the way, this is where the reality shows capitalize on people’s insecurities and competitiveness. When you line up multiple prospects to win one man/woman it becomes less about love and more about beating the competition to get the prize. #MrMrsBetterHalf

8. So first of all if you ever find out that you are one of many that a man or woman is dating, don’t just vow to be the chosen one, take a real step back and evaluate the relationship. Is this really the person you want to be with? #MrMrsBetterHalf

9. Don’t get caught up jealous or competitive emotions because by the time you catch him or her you may find that you want to throw that fish back into the sea. If s/he isn't what you really want, why not remove yourself from the running. #MrMrsBetterHalf

10. However, if you evaluate your relationship and feel that it is what you really want then square up and tell him/her how you feel. The ball is then in his/her court. If s/he doesn't choose you at least you can move on with your life. #MrMrsBetterHalf

11. Now back to the person who can’t seem to make a choice. You need to be focused. You can’t make progress when your eyes are constantly darting around. It is time to decide to put on blinders and run one race. #MrMrsBetterHalf

12. Open your eyes and decide to look past all the nonsensical or peripheral issues. Allow your mind and body to be flooded with light that will help you discern your true north. Stop flirting around the issues of choice. #MrMrsBetterHalf

13. Some people let the fear of making a wrong choice paralyze them. The way to combat this is by taking steps to ensure you make the right choice. There are 2 ways to do this: spiritually and rationally. Let's start with the former. #MrMrsBetterHalf

14. If you are a Christian, there’s no better way to know what decision to make than to ask for God’s leading. Now if you have been asking for God’s guidance for other things in your life, then this is a piece of cake for you. #MrMrsBetterHalf

15. The challenge usually is that many people only wait to ask for God’s guidance in big matters and expect to hear a thunderous voice from heaven that will tell you who to marry. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. God is not a genie. #MrMrsBetterHalf

16. Just like you know your best friend’s voice or mannerisms through proximity, having a constant relationship and fellowship with God is the best way to get to know His voice and how he leads or communicates with you. #MrMrsBetterHalf

17. Nevertheless, it is never too late to develop a relationship with God and ask for His help. One easy way God leads His children is by giving you peace. So you may just be praying about one of the ladies and feel agitated. #MrMrsBetterHalf

18. Other times you may be praying about the other lady and feel a sense of peace and joy. Sometimes it may just be that your feelings for one person suddenly deepen and you sense a nudge in his or her direction. #MrMrsBetterHalf

19. When you sense God’s leading in a certain direction, take a bold step in that direction. You may notice that things will align with that leading that you sense in your heart. But what if you have prayed but don’t sense anything? #MrMrsBetterHalf

20. There is also a place for being pragmatic. Sometimes thinking things through can help you unclutter your mind so that you can make the right choice. When doing this please don’t be tempted to compare the ladies to each other. #MrMrsBetterHalf

21. The point is not to find out who looks better on paper or even in person. The contest is not between them. The point is trying to find someone who best fits YOU. So don’t get distracted. Here are some practical steps to consider: #MrMrsBetterHalf

22. (a) Ask yourself what you really want in a WIFE. Not just a woman or a girlfriend, A WIFE. And then find out what she wants in a husband. Do your dreams and visions align? Because it’s not just about you, it’s about her too. #MrMrsBetterHalf

23. For instance, a man may marry an upwardly mobile lady thinking she is ambitious and will continue to work after marriage. Meanwhile, all she wants is to be a homemaker and she expects to stop work once kids come. #MrMrsBetterHalf

24. Conversely he may marry an upwardly mobile lady thinking that when they get married she will slow down. Meanwhile her dream is to become the MD of her company! Can you see there’s trouble in the horizon? #MrMrsBetterHalf

25. It’s important to look beyond hips, lips and fingertips and ask the real questions. Physical attraction is just a fraction of what marriage is about. Ask the real questions and make sure you agree on the big issues. #MrMrsBetterHalf

26. (b) Identify deal breakers. What can you absolutely not deal with in a spouse? Understand that you can’t change anybody so don’t expect to get married and suddenly ‘repair’ your spouse. You will wreak havoc in your home. #MrMrsBetterHalf

27. (c) Compare your backgrounds for compatibility. Sometimes opposites attracting each other can be very successful but other times it can be disastrous. Are you compatible academically? What about financially? #MrMrsBetterHalf

28. Do you have similar worldviews? Is it important that your political views are similar? Is class or social status an issue? How about culturally? Are you a modernist or traditionalist? Do you have the same spiritual beliefs? #MrMrsBetterHalf

29. Marriage is a social enterprise; these are the issues you will face each day and because you and your mate are not identical, you need to make sure that you can cope with your spouse’s beliefs, ideologies or idiosyncrasies. #MrMrsBetterHalf

30. (d) Have you met the friends & family? Do you like them and vice versa? Do they have values you respect? This is important as these people make up your wife’s circle of influence. These are those she turns to for advice about life. #MrMrsBetterHalf

31. (e) Get the opinion of your friends/family. Sometimes the people who are closest to you are able to see things a bit more objectively. Asking for their honest take on the two ladies can help you make your decision. #MrMrsBetterHalf

32. However, remember that the decision is ultimately yours. Their counsel is supposed to resonate with your heart and not arm-twist you into making an uncomfortable decision. #MrMrsBetterHalf

33. (f) Finally make your decision and stick with it. Though the two ladies may be great, they both can’t fit you on the same level. Once you have seen the person who is better suited to you, make your move and make it work. #MrMrsBetterHalf

34. Don’t keep looking in the rear-view mirror wondering what could be with the other person. Commit, be focused and launch into your bright future. Leave the other lady alone! Disengage so that she too is free for her own mate. #MrMrsBetterHalf

35. There will be moments when you will wonder if you made the right decision- the truth is that everyone goes through moments of doubt but it doesn’t mean you made a mistake, it means you are human. #MrMrsBetterHalf

36. You must work on the relationship you have chosen and make it the happiest and most loving one that you can ever dream of. And as you do right by your mate and be faithful to her and to God, you will truly be blessed. #MrMrsBetterHalf

37. I hope this has been helpful. I will be back next week with another topic. If you have a question, feel free to send me a message and I will try to address it in subsequent episodes. #MrMrsBetterHalf

38. Till then, thank you for following, participating and RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf