The Ring is a film about the importance of looking after your emotional well-being
The Thing is a film about cracking open a cold one with the boys
Ratatouille is a film about the difficulties of being a head chef
RoboCop is a film about using your career to make something of yourself
Starship Troopers is a film about the importance of debugging your system
Tron is a film about PC culture gone mad
The Hobbit films are about the lore of diminishing returns
National Treasure is a film about keeping up with the Joneses
Titanic is a film about the danger of falling for someone who ends up being too cool
Arrival is a film about how learning a new language takes time
Fight Club is a film about how you're a different person if you don't get a good night's sleep
Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a film about the dangers of hanging out with sketchy characters
Secretary is a film about getting leathered with the boss
Spider-Man: Homecoming is a film about a father taking umbrage at the web presence of his daughter’s new boyfriend
Death Becomes her is a film about the difficulty in preserving a long-term relationship
The Prestige is a film about how hard it can be to perform in a double-act
Children of Men is a film about someone dying to have a birthday party
Moon is a film about how annoying it is when people make you keep repeating yourself
Logan's Run is a film about how hard it is to have a healthy glow in your 30s
Footloose is a film about Dance Dance Revolution
Castaway is a film about @thelonelyisland
Beetlejuice is a film about a couple who can’t handle their spirits
Challenger is a film about how if you liked it then you should'a put a ring on it.

(sorry)
Cool Runnings is a film about a group of friends whose future’s going downhill.
The Matrix is a film about being woke online
The Terminator is a film about dangerous birth control techniques
The Italian Job is a film about troublemakers at the back of the bus
Memento #revenge is #getting a #for film #trouble about #man’s a
The Hunt For Red October is a film about staying calm in a high-pressure environment
Dracula is a film about maintaining relationships with key stakeholders
Threads is a film about Sheffield, strikes, and minors
Baby Driver was a film about a race track
Aladdin is a film about getting in trouble for rubbing one out
Gremlins is a film about getting wet and making bad decisions
Frankenstein is a film about a man’s struggle to make a living
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is a film about heir conditioning
Gulliver’s Travels is a film about economies of scale
The Sixth Sense is a film about Bruce Willis always being late
Pulp Fiction is a film about gangsters with a twist
Up in Smoke is a film about joint shareholding.
It's a Wonderful Life is a film about putting petal to the mettle
Evil Dead is a film about how hard it is to ingest dire tree fibres

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More from @Brainmage

Sep 18, 2018
For years, I wanted to make a show about how the very idea of nuclear war/Mutually Assured Destruction is closely associated with the errant thinking that comes with depression, and how macho posturing fuels both. I was astonished that it was a link that hand't been made before.
After years of putting it off (and struggling with my own mental health issues), I finally did it. I put in a pitch to @VAULTFestival for a show I hand't written. I've performed for years, and to critical acclaim, but only in groups. This was going to be my first solo show.
And god above. What a show to write. A show about my fuckups. About the horrible, scary things that have nearly brought about World War Three. About how society's ideas of what it is to be a man can be so, so damaging.

I sure know how to put bums on seats.
Read 10 tweets
Aug 21, 2018
Right. I'm going to have a pub reckon about free-market economics. Here we go.
I have a degree in economics and philosophy. As such, I'm working in unsatisfying admin and am so weighed down by student debt my nose scrapes the floor. However, I do occasionally Have A Reckon about things.
Economics is a fun subject. It's basically peoplemaths. The same way that formal logic is thinkingmaths. It's a set of rules, assumptions and axioms that you plug things into and get results out of.
Read 28 tweets
Jan 4, 2018
Here's a little story, Twitter. Gather round. Are we sitting comfortably? Then let's begin.
Before I came into the world, my father was in the police. This was in the late 60s/early 70s (dad old), so very much firmly in the 'Life on Mars' kind of thing.
By the time I was born, he was doing something else entirely. Making snooker tables or selling dinghies from South Korea. That kind of stuff. He’s been around the block.
Read 35 tweets
Sep 20, 2017
So. Twitter. I've just had the plumber round.
The bath had been leaking & there was a damp patch on the ceiling. We didn't know if it was the pipes or the sealant, so we brought in a pro
Like all awkward middle-class men, I'm on the back foot when confronted by tradesmen. Don't know what to talk about. Drop my aitches.
Read 73 tweets

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