PSimpson Profile picture
Aug 16, 2018 21 tweets 4 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
My wife will not let me name the child after Robert Mueller and that makes me sad.
Guys this was a joke. We’ve had the name picked out since before our first child was born.

Also, Robert is my first sons middle name.

12 hours to go.

My company just came out with a new Parental leave policy for non primary parents so that’s exciting!
The nurse at the hospital spent more time talking to my wife about russia and me than she did about the baby lol
There was just a different baby emergency and the C-section has been moved back to 11
Also, I have a whole bunch of stories nearing completion.
And it has been moved back again
They have opened up another OR for babies because it is crazy right now - and we are still on a wait
Also I am starving but I’m not eating because my wife can’t.

I’d never last on naked and afraid.
I’m currently being tortured with “the price is right”

People have to pay taxes on these winnings right? A lot of these people seem like they might be poor and unprepared for that
Now, my wife is sleeping. The TV has CNN!

Trump removing security clearances is the thing dictators do.
Mattis is on TV disputing Trump? Where has he been
Side note: Big Brother is the one reality show I watch (tradition with my late aunt) and holy shit this season is full of morons.
Still hasn’t started. Lots of emergencies.

Watching the Goonies.
New baby not Named Robert Mueller will be entering this world with a big brother whose second middle name happens to be Robert (two middle names run in my family)

And yes I know. I married someone way out of my league. Still not sure how I was able to make that happen.
Update: Due to multiple emergency births and an apparent gap in the shifts of the anesthesiologists, it looks like the 1030am c section could be a 1030pm one.
Ben was born into this world yesterday at 6:11 PM.

He is going to be your 2060 Presidential Nominee.

If Trump doesn’t destroy us first.

It’s also worth noting that the pre op nurse who knows me (and apparently reads my twitter) heard that we were delayed hours and came into work specifically to deliver our baby - and then went home.
Ok. This might be the most precious thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life.

And yes I know I’m biased.
Two middle names runs in my family.

I’m not sure when it started.

I’m the only one who got stuck with weird names though.

Who names their kid “Patrick Lloyd Vaughn Simpson.”

I sound like I’m British royalty or something.
I mean, yeah, they came from family but I can’t even remember who they are because it’s so distant.

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More from @irateloki

Oct 7, 2018
My thoughts on this whole Kavanaugh debacle.

Brett Kavanaugh does not belong on the Supreme Court. He’s a partisan hack in a way no SC Justice has ever been. Not only did he involve himself in the Vince Foster conspiracy bs during the Clinton years but he literally represented
the Bush campaign in the 2000 Election Debacle and he also wrote the torture memos - and lied about it.…
He has also stated in the past that presidents shouldn’t be indicted, and has some severe dubious Russia connections.…
Read 12 tweets
Oct 4, 2018
Kavanaugh doesn’t belong in the court because of his views on presidential power.

Kavanaugh doesn’t belong in the court because of raging partisanship and involvement in torture, the 2000 recount, and Clinton’s impeachment
Kavanaugh doesn’t belong in the court because of his mysterious financial issues.
Kavanaugh doesn’t belong in the court because of Merrick Garland .
Read 7 tweets
Sep 30, 2018
I find the idea of “coastal elites” to be a completely bullshit made up idea. You can’t tell me that elitism is limited to people who border oceans, or that to know the “real America” you need to spend time in a state like Kansas.
I’ve lived within 50 miles of Boston my entire life, in five cities/towns and I’ve experienced such a cross section of different groups of people that It’s silly to lump them all together
There are dying mill cities reminiscent of anything you’d see in the Midwest littered all over New England. You go there, you find communities rife with drugs, poverty, and people feeling abandoned.
Read 5 tweets
Sep 25, 2018
Thread: #TrumpRussia there’s something rotten in #Ohio politics.

I believe that a foreign agent is trying to get elected to the position of Montgomery County Recorder.
My biggest question is: Why Ohio? why Dayton?
He’s been identified as being involved in the Azerbaijani laundromat, receiving $250k from the government days after he was elected to the Dayton school board.

Does he even have kids?…
Read 28 tweets
Sep 23, 2018
Two weeks ago I speculated that Columbia Gas will not be done fixing the gas explosions until Thanksgiving.

On Friday, they agreed with me.

This is going to become a humanitarian crisis VERY VERY quickly.…
They’re already talking about giving hot plates and space heaters to people to get them through it.…
They’re also saying they’re going to reimburse the costs of switching to a different source, which is expensive.

The document makes it VERY clear they customers effected by the gas explosions will be reimbursed for reasonable costs.…
Read 5 tweets
Sep 23, 2018
Thread: I once went to the police to report an Identity theft committed against me by a close member of my family.

The cop spent 20 min bullying me and basically calling me an asshole until I agreed to say that I did not know who committed the crime.

I’m an affluent white male.
Now imagine for a second you’re a woman, and someone sexually assaulted you.

Or you’re a minority and someone stole something from you.

Or or or.

This is why rape is underreported. This is why Kavanaugh was not arrested 35 years ago.
I’ve said before that I’m pretty moderate.

What I haven’t said is that white male privilege never really made sense to me until this whole kavanaugh bs.

Now I get it.

Stop shaming a victim who was afraid to report a crime because the system is biased against her.
Read 4 tweets

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