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Aug 18, 2018 66 tweets 24 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
There are many things I would have loved to share with you about my life’s journey but the time allotted is not enough to do justice. Let me just share with you the story of my self discovery for those who may be driven to think I got here overnight. #BreakingBarriers
I was a peculiar child right from my formative years. At first my parents thought it was stubbornness, then later concluded I was damn right rebellious. In those days you do as you are told without having any other ideas. You simply obey. #BreakingBarriers
I wasn’t wired to simply obey & my parents would have none of that. I was the last born of 4 with enough gaps between myself and siblings to fit generational civilizations. So there was no excuse for my parents not to try to break me based on past successes. #BreakingBarriers
As far as they were concerned, they brought me into this world and they can as well take me out if I fail to comply. Before you start perceiving them as villains, kindly understand the formwork that forged them. The society then was very passive & compliant. #BreakingBarriers
It was a period where working in the civil service was an achievement. The attainment of the status of middle class. Which simply means fairer poverty state of mind, where you can afford to feed your family, pay school fees, rents & hope to live long. #BreakingBarriers
My mum was a retired teacher (civil servant still) and my dad an Executive Civil Servant as called then. He was part of the leading team that opened up Abuja as FCT. Himself & other colleagues were lodged in Nicon Noga Hilton (Now TranscorpHilton) #BreakingBarriers
They were later allocated blocks of flats in Gwagwalada (a scheme to your right on your way out of the Abuja Airport). Suffice to say they were the big boys of those days. But back home, there was a gulf. Mum was left to take care of us all. #BreakingBarriers
My mum had a strong character. She was the feminist of her days. In the current age she wouldn’t have been married. She took responsibility like a man and loved calling the shots. It’s either her way or no other but then I was becoming a problem. #BreakingBarriers
I was resolute. Picky with my food and fixed myself a routine. Many saw my mum as an Iron Lady but I accorded her my regards as my parent, without fear & trepidation. She kept on reiterating the fact that she brought me into the world & shouldn’t be arguing. #BreakingBarriers
My teenage years weren’t as rosy as those of my peers or siblings. I knew early enough that I was different. I was ‘autistic’ about my convictions probably too early in life and it got me into a lot of trouble. I set my own rules & face the consequences. #BreakingBarriers
After a while, like Govts, my mum started deploying emotional threats meant to correct whatever hubris that was obstructing my cognitive abilities as regards compliance. But this only worsened the situation. I created my own world & reality. #BreakingBarriers
From the perspective of Neighbors and the community, I was a dream child. Always first in class (for real this time) I was the head boy of my primary school and Senior Prefect of the secondary. But I wasn’t a happy child. I was drowning though succeeding. #BreakingBarriers
I learnt from a tender age the actual meaning of success. It has nothing to do with how fast you made it, what you had better than another or how much you have in the bank. It is more about your relevance to your society being critical to your being. #BreakingBarriers
A fish out of water is dead. A man extracted from his society however successful may never be fulfilled. There is a reason why those who will value your becoming most are those who knew your beginning. Not those who assume you fell from heaven. #BreakingBarriers
My Birth certificate had more names than the names on the register in my Son’s current class. It was also a function of power play between my dad and mum and their family. Everyone needed to get their contribution on record. Royalty & Religion (Ade & Olu). #BreakingBarriers
You can imagine the level of emotional battles I got into trying to understand social constructs at a very tender age. I must always ask why. And most times the adults around don’t even know why, save for alignment with culture. #BreakingBarriers
I read to understand and never to regurgitate. Had so many issues based on my non-conformity to the culture of garbage in garbage out. Education for me wasn’t perceived as an assembly line literacy program. I defied the odds and I paid for it dearly. #BreakingBarriers
If you think you have been rejected in life, you probably haven’t swam the depth of rejection like I have. But it can be a blessing if you put it in proper perspective. The way the tapestry of life is woven, you must conquer yourself first and know you. #BreakingBarriers
Society will always try to define you. They will do all they can to stick you in a box. It is those moments of isolation that prepares you for the harshness of society. Whatever they give they can threaten to withdraw for your compliance. #BreakingBarriers
This is where the theory of control emanates. We have been taught to comply, obey, follow routines, obtain certificates, get jobs, get paid, get laid, rear kids and pay bills & see how long we live. But there is more to life than a game within a game. #BreakingBarriers
At some point, you must find your path. It’s like learning to walk with a walker. You are never meant to live all your life in the walker. What happened to most of us was that we built comfort zones out of what was meant to be a temporary guide. #BreakingBarriers
We created dependencies on the seeming achievements of our parents, we rest our oars on the testimonies of our certificates and build comfort in our income without thinking about our relevance to our immediate society. #BreakingBarriers
We have adopted a civil servant life and aspiration in a fast moving engagement world. First class graduates are seeking jobs instead of creating one. Those in leadership position are digging a hole to perpetuate themselves in power for the fear of the unknown. #BreakingBarriers
Some may be born with the insight and clarity to discover their purpose, while others may be driven to learn to find themselves enough to save the world. Whichever cadre you may belong, know that you are a solution to a defined problem in life. #BreakingBarriers
In those days, my mum used to say 3/4 is pass mark. Meaning that if I fail, the society will rate her highly, since my other compliant siblings were set to succeed just for following her exact instructions & directives. #BreakingBarriers
She would say “If you turned out to be a mechanic amongst my children, no one will blame me. I tried.” I never took offense even as a teenager. I felt she didn’t understand how my mind works and in future she will get this. #BreakingBarriers
Our disagreement took another direction when she insisted I should study medicine and I refused. She needed a doctor in the family for bragging rights while I needed to study a course that gives room for me to learn across sectors/professions. #BreakingBarriers
The wait for JAMB to grant me admission into University For Medicine cost 4years. It wasn’t that I was not good enough but the competition was very steep. I got everything else Botany, Physiology, etc..but Medicine & Surgery. #BreakingBarriers
This was 4years of attempting to please my mum for once, while I was reading and absorbing knowledge across my areas of interest, I was also working and making money to avoid dependency that often earn you tongue lashing. #BreakingBarriers
Those were humbling years. People I coached went into university and graduated while I was yet to secure admission but I wasn’t depressed because I knew early that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise,... #BreakingBarriers
...nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill, but time and chance happeneth to them all. (Eccl 9:11 KJV). These were the days of self discovery in Resilience, Patience, Sacrifice & Consistency, while operating in Grace and Excellence. #BreakingBarriers
This pretty much set the template for total reliance on the Almighty while focusing on purpose as it benefits society. It didn’t just start now. My altruism is enshrined in my DNA. I started in isolation and have learnt to be my own company. #BreakingBarriers
So don’t get mad when people don’t believe in you. Don’t feel lonely when people see you as different. Never feel ostracized when you have a dream bigger than you screaming to be unleashed. Believe in yourself and impact your world. Unchain yourself. #BreakingBarriers
You are not what happened to you or what society tries to make stick on you. Their perception must not be your reality. There is greatness in you and it will speak provided you believe in yourself. God dwells in us all. It’s only a matter of awakening. #BreakingBarriers
My parents got the message before they passed. They connected the dots and saw my uniqueness. It wasn’t about rebellion nor stubbornness. It was about purpose. An electric iron heats up just like a boiling ring but their purpose are miles apart. #BreakingBarriers
What works for you may not work for another. We no longer live in the days of our parents nor walk in the shadow of the past. We are the future, because we are meant to create the future that our kids will live through. What are you leaving behind? #BreakingBarriers
In my immediate family, I broke barriers. I didn’t stop at the Polytechnic but crossed over to a University despite the gory stories of how Yabatech would hardly pass you let alone granting you distinction needed to cross to Unilag. We broke the rules. #BreakingBarriers
While in Unilag, I watched other hustle for grades and worshipped demigods for favors. I really didn’t have to fret. I know the dialogues I had with my God and I was certain of my grades despite the threats and odds. No evil prevailed. #BreakingBarriers.
There are many things that came to my subconscious that I processed long before they actually happened. It is often deemed as crazy talk until they happen. It was hard keeping friends. I can’t logically explain the process within my being. You have it in U too. #BreakingBarriers
Before I wrote my final year project in UNILAG I already got innovative ideas that can change our world as of that time. A business man had an issue, he needed to sell a large expanse of land in the lekki environs to some CHINESE businessmen...#BreakingBarriers
He could only afford to build a pilot and the project was meant to be an estate. The land has been plotted already but Chinese folks needed a picture to process. That birthed the very first 3D city walk-through designed by my young firm @AliensmediaComm
We created a spectra Disc the size of a business card and loaded it with the virtual reality of the entire estate and the various building designs and accommodation types. It blew the minds of both parties and the man sold it all in a sweep. #BreakingBarriers
He even got offers for yet another expanse of land he was still trying to plot at a greater value because of the goodwill shown. This was where my first break came from. Not just in income but also in connections and goodwill. #BreakingBarriers
There were several other groundbreaking innovations and businesses built from business plan up before I finally submitted my thesis. My point here is that, no government can control your success if you find yourself. We are all unique Heroes to a problem. #BreakingBarrier
Never look down on yourself. Never put down another. Seek the good in others and discover the best in yourself. Those shining around you need not intimidate you, they must inspire you enough to shine your own light too. Begin by reflecting the Light of Christ. #BreakingBarriers
Ensure you do something good for someone who can’t repay you. Cultivate this habit and see how far it takes you. Don’t get into the transactional culture of doing good in expectation of validation, applause or praise. Do it for God & expect His Response. #BreakingBarriers
You people may think I’m a master planner, who probably has figured life out with charts to match. It is not so. Sometimes how I survived some ordeals remain a puzzle till this day. If you can explain it, then it is not God. Let them call you fraud. #BreakingBarriers
Because you haven’t found your uniqueness shouldn’t make you feel like a failure. You are not. There is no hurry. Your race and track is different from mine. The world moves you through structured levels but God works in Dimensions. It’s never fair, it’s favor. #BreakingBarriers
I’ve counseled Presidents across continents, simply because of Grace and obedience to His voice. Imagine me waiting to inherit my dad’s gay blue Volkswagen and village house that is still causing problems for the LGA. Break those chains of dependency. #BreakingBarriers
It is never too late. The 4years spent waiting for admission was out to great use amidst depression when society people chip in their advice. I recall sharing with my older cousin then that I was going to cross to UNILAG from Yabatech. I was mocked & degraded. #BreakingBarriers
You need to see how they laughed hysterically and rolled on the floor. It was like a joke of the century. In those days, only the highly influential even make it to Yabatech & students mostly stop at praying to avoid carryover not dreaming of crossing over. #BreakingBarriers
Not everyone can see your vision let alone believe in it. You owe yourself that much to believe in yourself and walk, eat, dream, drink and speak your vision to yourself. If you want to be President, Act it. Let people see your Presidential action in little. #BreakingBarriers
Leadership is cultivated as much as it is inherent. There is leadership spirit and there is spirit of leadership. We all have the ability, gifting & zeal to lead but not many are disciplined enough to learn to develop the skills passionately until it becomes part of their nature
This is the same theory for creating geniuses. Make a religion out of what you are passionate about until you become the best in that act/art that puts a smile on the faces of others thus provoking them to release their gifts to you in exchange. #BreakingBarriers
We will all fail at some point. It is necessary to create a learning point. Never fear failure. Do it all the same and learn through the process. You life will never remain the same. It is all about the experience and the journey. There is no arrival. #BreakingBarriers
Thanks for reading and hope to chat again.
This is not the end. 🤓 #BreakingBarriers
In the next edition, I will share with you more exclusive details. I don’t believe in failures or impossibilities. Those seeing themselves as failures only need a coach. You need a second opinion, a different perspective. Trust me on this. I was my own coach for years.
Before you take that as a positive statement, know that it is not. Being your own coach is a virtual state of acute depression. Even Tiger Woods & the Williams Sisters have coaches. There are people gifted in seeing things better than you do. Find them. #BreakingBarriers
What I do most for leaders is beyond politics I help them find themselves by holding up a mirror before their faces. The loneliest place to be is in position of power. 80% if not more of people around you will not tell you the truth for the fear of losing their jobs.
You don’t need an extra degree, what you can’t make happen with an HND/BSc you won’t make happen with an MSc or PhD. The idea behind these programs is to stimulate independent thoughts. If you still can’t think or apply yourself with your degrees, please learn a trade.
If you ask those who grew up with me, they will tell you never to ask what I do. They often ask “What don’t you do?” If I’m stuck on an island without electricity I’ll not only survive but thrive and make a tourist attraction of the place. Keeping my kind in an office is an abuse
Think of it this way, all trades were based on negotiation and barter until 140years ago when the idea of the price tag was invented by the bourgeois class. A value system of differentiating people by their consumption habits cum affordability was born thus ostracizing most.
If you are gifted and you have mastered the skills of your art, you’re today’s brand for the bourgeois with a price tag. You are not common place & certainly can’t be chained by salary. You name your price & unless your mother had twins people who need your uniqueness have to pay
You are not called for everybody. Those who need your uniqueness will find you and appreciate your gift and the time taken for you to discover yourself. Go forth and manifest...the world is waiting for you. If you can picture it in your subconscious you can have it.
So when Haters come around saying “Is that not the Son of the Carpenter?” Tell them God can use anyone, even the loose crusts of the earth. Treat everyone right & write off no one. My little nephews/nieces are big consultants now. Imagine the burden if I didn’t invest in them?
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It has neither ethno religious coloration nor political partisanship. All I told him before the election came to pass and all we deliberated on happened just as forecasted. He became a winner despite the loss of the election because he meant well for all & value good counsel.
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Is this what @MBuhari will be remembered for? All your loyal men/women ruined because of self centered party politics that ostracizes and impoverishes the people. Is the APC reserved for families and friends now? 2019 will be very interesting. This is really pathetic. @abellodam
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