Daily reminder: (thread)
If you think in an abusive relationship, you probably are.

Inside the USA, please call
1-800-799-7233 or
1-800-787-3224 TTY
Outside, contact your local
#domesticviolence
Outreach.

If you see yourself in this or any of my similar posts, reach out.
1/
*If there is something you're passionate about, and know you can be good at, and your partner not only doesn't support you, but discourages you, that's emotional abuse. (For me, it was art and writing.)

*If your money is "our money" and their money only belongs to them...
2/
.... that's financial abuse. It may get to a point where you even shut them down every time they say they'll pay you back, because you know they won't.

If you call them and they hardly ever answer the phone, but they flip out if you miss a call, pay attention to what... 3/
...they are accusing you of. That's called projecting. They are guilty of whatever unfounded allegations they are accusing you of. That's psychological abuse.

If no matter what you do to try to improve your appearance invites either disgust or allegations-emotional abuse.
4/
If at any point they tell you to lie to keep them out of trouble, or steal, beg, or borrow money to feed any of their habits...honey, that's not healthy or normal.

If every time you question them about they're justifiably questionable behaviour, it turns into a fight...
5/
... that's not normal.

Example: Early in my abusive relationship, simplified, I was raped, and he witnessed it. Instead of encouraging me to press charges, he used my rape to justify his infidelity and threw it in my face every time I confronted him with evidence of infidelity.6
I... don't...know ..why I stayed. Then, I thought there was more good than bad, but I was under his thumb. The love bombing is so convincing. Those moments are so addicting. They seem to make all the bad disappear.
My case is not unique.
7/
I thought maybe it was a testament to my patience and my propensity for forgiveness. I endured. I was patient and long suffering. After all, he was abused as a child. I made all sorts of concessions for him, but... I couldn't anymore.
8/
And maybe it's the same for you. You do not have to excuse your partner raping you and call it "compromise." You don't have to excuse their infidelity. You definitely deserve to receive the same love and respect as you're expected to give. 9/
Your partner should be YOUR PARTNER...NOT your boss, not your oppressor, not your charity case, not your rapist, not your abuser. Some happy times is not the same as a healthy relationship.
Starting over Fucking sucks, and it is hard and it hurts, 10/
but please trust me when I say that it is better than staying. It is an adjustment. Flashbacks and anxiety are abundant, but I will take that over being in the thick of the abuse any day.
You are not a failure. You matter. Get help when you can.
<End>

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