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meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
@Memeghnad
Aug 25, 2018 • 16 tweets • 6 min read • Read on X
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Aadhaar through the ages.

A #thread -
Nilekani: Let there be an ID that is voluntary in nature & would prove to be an empowerment tool for millions!

UPA: Cool. Like a citizenship ID?

NN: Nope. Just an ID. No rights will be granted... But eventually... all citizen rights will be dependent on it! Get it?

UPA:
Activists: Um I think you need to create a law. This is kinda big. YUGE project. YUGE

UPA: Let there be an ID which will be created by a random attached office in the planning commission!

Activist: Wait. What?

UPA: Oh hey, Planning Comm is doing a lot of PLANNING for this, OK?
Modi & Friends: Atrocious this! Illegal! Such security issues, much wow! Met PM, didn't get answers! #outrage! #UPAsucks! #AadhaarIsAsux! Will scrap if we come to power!

UPA (2014): OK bye! It's your thing now! BYEEE!

Modi & Friends: Huh. This Aadhaar is not THAT bad also...
Modi Govt: Let there be a law that gives legal status to this lovely surveilla... I mean... Subsidy Delivery Mechanism.

Babu: But saar we don't have majority in Rajya Sabha. They will block it only. We have already enrolled so many sheep... I mean citizens.

Modi Govt: Hm. Wait.
Activist: Hey man, you can't just pass this as a Money Bill, ignore Rajya Sabha and expect us to be cool with it.

Govt: Yes we can.

Activists: Seriously? UPA screwed us and you are also doing the same thing?

Govt: Pretty much.

Activists: Sigh. See you in court.
Govt: MAKE AADHAAR MANDATORY FOR EVERYTHING!

Babu: Everything?

Govt: EVERYTHING!!!

Babu: But... court... uh...

Govt: Don't care. Didn't you hear me? MANDATORY FOR EVERYTHING!!!

Supreme Court:
Govt: Look at all these sheep... I mean... citizens enrolling for Aadhaar! It's beautiful!

Activists: That's because you have made it mandatory for EVERYTHING! WTF!

Govt: No it's because they see the benefits.

Activists: Um seriously?

Supreme Court:
Govt: Look at these savings we're doing!

Activists: Where are you getting these figures from?

Govt: Look at the corruption we are eradicating!

Activist: What is your methodology?

Govt: Look at these kids saying awesome things about Aadhaar!

Activists: WTF?

Supreme Court:
Activists: Aadhaar violates the right to privacy.

Govt: Hey, Indian citizens don't have a right to privacy only!

Supreme Court: Actually... we set up a giant bench to decide this & turns out... they do.

Govt: Hey, we always said Indians had right to privacy! #EpicWin for us!
Govt: Aadhaar is voluntary but mandatory!

Activists: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?

Govt: Meaning, it's mandatory but voluntary!

Activists: ...

Govt: Look at these savings...

Activists: PEOPLE ARE DYING YOU MORONS STFU!? Yo SC! Decide please. What the heck is happening!

SC:
Media: You can get access to the entire Aadhaar database in 500 bucks!

UIDAI: Aadhaar data is safe. There is NO BREACH!

Media: Another case of data leakage...

UIDAI: NO BREACH!

Media: Biometrics copied in Gujarat. Aadhaar based scam happ...

UIDAI: NO BREACH! NO BREACH! NOOO!
UIDAI: Don't share your Aadhaar number publicly.

RS Sharma: Hey Twitter, I just logged in, this is crazy, here's my number, hack me maybe!

Twitter: thanks! Here's your janm kundali! Enjoy.

RSS: No harm has come to me!

UIDAI: NO BREACH. But don't share your number publicly.
Tweep: Wait. How did the UIDAI number get into my phone? I don't even have an Aadhaar.

UIDAI: NO BREACH! And that's the old number. Meh.

Google: That's my bad actually. Sorry.

UIDAI: Their fault. Also, NOT BREACH NO BREACH AADHAAR DATA IS SAFE NO BREACH!
Activists: People are getting excluded. Their fingerprints aren't matching.

UIDAI: NO BREACH. Also, we will conduct secret camps to correct errors.

Activists: How many errors are there?

UIDAI: Who knows these things! We'll find out when these sheep come to us for corrections!
Activists: But but you said biometrics are foolproof and all!

UIDAI: Yes. NO BREACH BTW. But take another layer of security: We shall make face recognition necessary for authentication. Did we say NO BREACH?

Activists: What if the photo is wrong...

UIDAI: Our job here is done!

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More from @Memeghnad

meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
Sep 26, 2018
Seems like it's a 4 - 1 #AadhaarVerdict.

3 Partial read downs in favor of Government.
1 in favor of Government.
1 Ultra dissent

Sigh.
This is good though. It means the Supreme Court has acknowledged that not all is well in Aadhaar land.

There were some major problems which have been rectified.
The biggest one is disallowing private companies to use Aadhaar data. Now all those techies who were supporting Aadhaar will slowly dwindle out. We'll be left only with the Govt in power defending the program.

If there's no profit there, why bother, eh? Waste of time.
Read 4 tweets
meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
Sep 12, 2018
.@CNNnews18 has counted tubelights and fans in Vijay Mallya's designated jail cell. Apparently they're looping "the video that will bring Mallya back"

One panelist keeps calling Mallya a Congress baby.

*slow clap*
#nlprimetime
While Rahul Shivshankar asks why UPA did meherbani on Mallya, Shehzad Poonawala on @TimesNow made an epic observation:

"MAAL KITNA LIYA... MAALLIYA!"
#NLPrimetime
This @aajtak really has some next level promos.

#NLPrimetime
Read 9 tweets
meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
Sep 11, 2018
You're still wondering why it's important to create a hue and cry about the Huffpost story?

Think about this scenario: A 100 folks from say, China, sitting in one room and creating Aadhaar after Aadhaar using a patched software which has geo-location disabled.

Every single day.
This is an actual national security issue of gigantic proportions. Mind is reeling thinking about possibilities of how this can be misused.

For all you know, terrorists in sleeper cells must have procured Aadhaar numbers and are living amongst us. Totally Legitimized by Aadhaar.
For a change all the chest-beating nationalists should be pouncing on this story and questioning the Government & UIDAI.

Where are you nationalists?
The country is being threatened!
For real!
Read 6 tweets
meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
Sep 11, 2018
Big story!

A patch that allows operators to create multiple Aadhaar numbers bypassing biometric security features has been found. Who knows how many fake IDs were created using this.

Now waiting for UIDAI to come in & scream, "THERE HAS BEEN NO BREACH!"
huffingtonpost.in/2018/09/11/uid…
This is a consequence of allowing random enrollment operators to create IDs, driven by per-enrollment incentives. They found a hack to maximize profits by creating multiple IDs.

This means that corruption in service delivery is still happening. Aadhaar is a total failwhale!
Whats worse, given this Government's epic push to make Aadhaar mandatory and legitimize it, this leakage and corruption of services has been LEGITIMIZED.

Now we know what UIDAI cancelled licenses of 39000 enrollment ops. They're now holding secret camps to fix these entries.
Read 5 tweets
meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
Aug 30, 2018
If the Congress did Demonetisation and we were in 2013, the media would be calling it the biggest scam ever done by a political party.

A 15 lakh crore scam.
People would be out on streets, Anna Hazare would be going crazy. Sibal would be giving Zero Loss theories, trying to justify their move. Ramdev would be screaming about black money.

Wait... we've seen this happen somewhere before, haven't we?
Maybe it's just my imagination.
It won't happen now because nobody trusts the media anymore. BJP has ensured nobody believes anything in the news.

The media house owners are still happy because they get to bank on a pro-Government nationalist sentiment to sell ads. They don't lose anything.

The people do.
Read 4 tweets
meghnad 🔗 Profile picture
Aug 6, 2018
Met so many people who follow #SansadWatch during the @themediarumble.

Realised that this experiment has the potential to become a platform for non-policy background folk who are interested in the field to just gain a further understanding of public policy! What fun!
And in all seriousness I want to thank these enthu cutlet bunch of people (much like me) for being so upfront with feedback and give suggestions about what direction #SansadWatch should take.

Please keep the feedback coming! We have a lot of work to do!
Probably the best way forward is to turn this into a sort of an open-source project and hand it over the the community. The idea would be to provide a platform for policy enthusiasts to just mess around with everything Parliament.

Sort of a fun place to discuss Parliament!
Read 5 tweets

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