Thread by @DumbDonnyDrumpf

Help me finger the rat who's resisting my will. Who is the "insider" in the Times Op-Ed. nytimes.com/2018/09/05/opi…

Clearly, if it's @PressSec, she's a bigger liar than everyone thought possible. :-) I think we can safely rule out @BetsyDeVosED... far too dumb and dishonest.

Whoever "wins" the poll will be interrogated by my loyal Number 2, @VP. Unless... It's not YOU, is it Pencey? #ParanoidPresident #TheyAllDidIt

Maybe it's Mnoo-, Mnuck-, er that high-rolling, no expense-spared guy in the Treasury. (Was I wise to trust him with all that money? He's always carrying big, heavy suitcases around...) #ISuspectEveryone #PresidentParanoia

I'm not sure it IS one the generals, thinking about it. They're usually not too political, and the rat is OK with my ideals, but not with me. So we're looking for a right-winger with influence... @IvankaTrump! Et tu, babe? #KeepItInTheFamily

Got it! It's that nasty Mike Pompeo. He would fit the bill. Very right of center and very proper. Or maybe weaselly noncombatant warmonger, @AmbJohnBolton. Snitching to the press would be just like him. Nah. He's crazier than I am. #ParanoidWitchHunt #GOPCowardInWH

Or could it be Ben @SecretaryCarson - who proved you don't need a brain to be a brain surgeon. No. He's even dumber than @BetsyDeVos - and that's saying something. #WhoIsIt #DrivingMeCrazy

It's my BORDER NAZI! Krjskx-, Krws-, @SecNielsen - what a horrible name! She sounds foreign! What's she doing keeping our borders safe? No. She's very much the "just following orders" type. #WitchHuntContinues

@MickMulvaneyOMB! He's a devious, fascist little scumbag! A Definite Possibility. I hope it's not my Dungeon Mistress, Gina Haspel. I need her to torture the mole when (s)he's uncovered. #TortureMadam #MedievalPresident

Perhaps it's @jeffsessions? He's already doing his best to thwart me by recusing himself from overseeing the Russian Interference Witch Hunt. Yes, it could just be. Except that I don't trust him or let him do anything near me. It's got to be someone else... #WhoDunIt #Suspense

So who's left? No. Surely not! Not my Dear Sweet @NikkiHaley! She wouldn't! Would she? Definitely a right-wing nutjob. But too remote to have influence? #SoManyWitches #WhoIsTheInsider

Great idea! I'll do what my idol, Joseph Stalin, did! I'll Purge the White House! Kill Everybody! I don't need their help anyway! I can always replace them anytime. Plenty of power-mad #Trumptards around! #MegalomaniacInChief #KeepTrumpInSuspense

Kellyanne Conway and John Kelly are among the few people who appear not to have issued a denial. Personally, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's Pence. Who trusts a liar's denial? #LyingLiars cnn.com/2018/09/06/pol…