Thread by @ellle_em

For #ShakespeareSunday I present to you a thread of Shakespeare's plays but the characters are all cats

HAMLET

Cat Ghost: My brother murdered me
Cat Hamlet: k
Cat Ghost: don't you care?
Cat Hamlet: nah
Cat Ghost: that's my boy

ROMEO & JULIET

Cat Romeo: eh you're ok I guess
Cat Juliet: eh you're not the worst
Cat Tybalt: we hate Romeo's family
Cat Juliet: what are you going to do??
Cat Tybalt: nothing. maybe shit in their garden? idk, I don't care that much

MACBETH

Cat Macbeth: some witches said I'd be king
Cat Lady Macbeth: do you think I care?
Cat Macbeth: nope
Cat Lady Macbeth: oh I killed a mouse and left it's entrails in ur bed
Cat Macbeth: I knew I married u for a reason

OTHELLO

Cat Iago: I hate Othello. I should do something about it
Cat Iago: oh wait
Cat Iago: lookit that sunbeam it's perfect I'm gonna take a nap

KING LEAR

Cat King Lear: how much do u love me daughters
Cat Regan: ehhh
Cat Goneril: ehh
Cat Cordelia: eh
Cat King Lear: u wound me Cordelia

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM

Cat Puck: when they wake everything'll be all wacky
Cat Hermia, Cat Helena, Cat Lysander, Cat Demetrius: sleeping
Cat Puck: any minute now
Cat Hermia, Cat Helena, Cat Lysander, Cat Demetrius: still sleeping
Cat Puck: ugh whatev
Cat Puck: goes to sleep

JULIUS CAESAR

Cat Cassius: we should kill Caesar
Cat Brutus: why?
Cat Cassius: idk he's becoming too tyrannical or some junk
Cat Brutus: here's a better idea lets go chase some moths
Cat Cassius: yes much better

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

Cat Portia:...and that is why you can't take a pound of flesh from Antonio
Cat Shylock: hm. u have a good argument. But I don't care
Cat Portia: welp. That's valid
Cat Antonio: shit

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

Cat Petruchio: wait. ur the shrew?
Cat Katherina: yeah it's a metaphor
Cat Petruchio: I thought there'd be a real shrew I wanted to eat it

TITUS ANDRONICUS

.....actually this one would play out pretty much the same way