Thread by @jamesmb

BREXIT AS SEEN THROUGH THE PRISM OF 100 FRIENDS

"Right, who wants to go to dinner? Hands up for yes.... Hands up for no... OK, 52 of you want to go to dinner so we are all going!"

NO VOTERS: "Wait a minute! We don't want to go!"

LEADER: "Tough. We're all going on Thursday!"

HALF OF YES VOTERS: "Erm, we don't want to go on Thursday."

LEADER: "Shut up. Everyone voted to go to the Italian on Thursday."

*Leader rings Italian restaurant*

ITALIAN RESTO : "Hello"

LEADER: "Hi, I'd like to book a table for 100 on Thursday."

ITALIAN RESTO: "Ah, sorry. We are shut."

LEADER: "But we will be coming on Thursday"

ITALIAN RESTO: "But we are shut"

LEADER: "We are still coming. We voted to come."

ITALIAN RESTO: "That's nice. We're still shut though. So you can't come."

LEADER: "I'll call you back"

20 YES VOTERS: "You stick to your guns! Italian on Thursday it is! If not, we can no longer be friends"

LEADER: "But they are shut"

20 YES VOTERS: "You stick to it! Italian on Thursday!"

LEADER: "OK, I'm sticking to it!"

NO VOTERS: "Hi! We still don't..."

LEADER: "Shut up! We are going!"

35 YES VOTERS: "Does it have to be Italian?"

20 YES VOTERS: "WHAT DO WE WANT? ITALIAN! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? THURSDAY!"

BORIS JOHNSON: "PHWOAR! Italian totty!"

EVERYONE: "STFU BORIS!"

LEADER: "Italian on Thursday is what everyone voted for"

BORIS JOHNSON: "Cripes! That Italian is where all the Muslims go!"

EVERYONE: "STFU BORIS!"

*Leader gets back on phone*

ITALIAN RESTO : "Hello"

LEADER: "Hi, I'd like to book a table for 100 on Thursday."

ITALIAN RESTO: "We're shut. I've already told you that."

LEADER: "So you are sure you are shut?"

ITALIAN RESTO: "I don't want to be rude but do you realise this is making you look a bit stupid?"

LEADER: "So we *can* come on Thursday? Is that what you are saying?"

ITALIAN RESTO: "Still no. I can do next Saturday but it's dearer."

LEADER (to YES VOTERS): "He can do next Saturday?"

42 YES VOTERS: "HOW DARE HE DICTATE TO US?"

10 YES VOTERS: "Seems reasonable. Do we not all risk looking stupi..."

LEADER: "Shut up!"

BORIS JOHNSON: "Musl..."

EVERYONE: "SHUT UP"

10 YES VOTERS: "Look, we're not sure we want to go to dinner at all. It seems like a bit of a mess and we look stupid."

LEADER: "WE. VOTED. TO. HAVE. ITALIAN. ON. THURSDAY."

NO VOTERS: "Nobody voted for that."

10 YES VOTERS: "They've got a point. Can't we just ask again?"

LEADER: "No!"

*Leader gets back on phone*

ITALIAN RESTO: "You again?! If it is the same question, the answer is still no!"

REPEATS UNTIL THEY DECIDE TO STOP LOOKING RIDICULOUS AND CHANGE LEADER & POLICY.

#StopBrexit #PeoplesVote