Thread by @guywalters

The statement by the #skripal suspects is glorious. The city was so 'covered in snow' that they couldn't walk 0.7 miles to Salisbury Cathedral, but they could walk over a mile to Christie Miller road, in completely the opposite direction. Poor lambs, they clearly got really lost!

So impressed by all these brave, hardy souls who managed to battle their way through seemingly impassable snow to get to Salisbury Cathedral during the first few days of March. Or these reviews are clearly fabrications...

For the convenience of any GRU employees thinking of paying a visit to Salisbury, I've produced this handy guide showing how tricky the cathedral is to find from the railway station.

Pictured are the incredibly harsh conditions in Salisbury on 3 March that stopped two able-bodied men who had come all the way from Russia walking 0.7 miles to the cathedral. See how a man of similar age risks his life and those of his two teenage sons on a street ½ a mile away.

Let's get this straight. We're expected to believe that these men flew from Russia to the UK to see Salisbury Cathedral and other nearby attractions, but when they arrived in Salisbury, they found the slush so bad they couldn't walk the last 0.7 miles of their 1,635 mile journey?

Sorry you missed it boys!

It gets better: "SALISBURY IS THE GAY CAPITAL OF FOGGY ALBION" reports this Russian website. tehrosinfo.ru/blog/430399278… "There are 14 gay bars in Salisbury, 3 BDSM swingers, 4 gay clubs... Apparently, representatives of sexual minorities from all over the world are flocking there."

That look when your boss says that you're going to have to pretend to be gay to keep your job.

SUCH a shame that our intrepid heroes from Russia didn't spot one of the buses that takes tourists to Stonehenge, and are parked outside the railway station, and were running on March 4th! Perhaps the branding is too subtle?

Just to make things absolutely clear for any future visitors from Russia. We wouldn't them to walk all the way down Wilton Road, which clearly takes you away from the city, Stonehenge, Old Sarum, and its beautiful English cathedral!