Thread by @FlyingTrilobite

Ford: The people want cheese to be filled with nails!
People: ...what?! WHAT?!
Ford: I was elected by 2.3 million people to improve cheese it’s my mandate!
People: You didn’t campaign on that!
@FordNAti99990034 from Oakville, Russia: EAT TEH CHEESE TORONTO LEFTIES
#ONpoli

Ford: it’s good cheese made right here in Ontario with healthy nickel 1/4” nails from our neighbouring province Sudbury
People: what, no —-YOU CANT HIDE NAILS IN CHEESE PEOPLE WILL DIE
Ford: Ontario nail-filled cheese will be only a buck at your local Beer Store.
#ONpoli

Judge: you cannot put nails in cheese and sell it for human consumption. Illegal now. And since forever. *bangs gavel*
🧀
Ford: THE GOOD PEOPLE OF THE PROVINCE WANT TO SEE TORONTONIANS EAT NAILS
🧀
ONPC Mephistopheles: *whispers* notwithstanding...
#ONpoli

JTory: hold a referendum on the people eating nails hidden in cheese to find out what people really want as I’ve always believed in fairness, after the cheese has already been on sale because property taxes are low and I think that’s as I’ve always supported nail che- #ONpoli

JKeesmaat: You cannot ask the people of Toronto to stand by and be forced to eat cheese with nails in it. Time for real leadership. #ONpoli

JTory: she’s saying exactly what I said about cheese with nails in it except totally in a wrong way that will ruin me being mayor
🧀
Media: Constitutional crisis! Plow competition! What is a plowing? Here’s a handy explainer while Toronto is pelted with nail-cheese
#ONpoli

Right-wing Twitter: in LA people eat cheese with jalapeños in it
🧀
Ford: Those fatcats down at City Hall just want to eat Brie and sip lattes. YOU’LL EAT CHEESE WITH NAILS AND I’LL PUT NAILS IN OTHER FOOD TOO!!
🧀
Mulroney: Notwithstanding! BOOM!

Toronto Star: here's live up to the second coverage and some explainer articles about these complicated events
🧀
Globe & Mail: Just eat the cheese with nails in it Toronto or tomorrow there might by no nails - or cheese
🧀
Toronto Sun: FORD -LIKE A MUTHAFUCKIN'BOSS

People: Prime Minister Justin, please disallow this unprecedented mixing of nails into cheese. Please for the love of the Charter-!
🧀
Prime Minister Justin: well, we’re very disappointed the people of Toronto don’t like the flavour of the cheese...

#nailcheese

Thanks everyone for sharing this manifestation of my pain. No SoundCloud. Just vote.
Go and vote.
Get other people to vote.
Vote and keep fighting Ford.
And consider voting #Keesmaat4Mayor. She will stand up for Toronto's cheese. 🧀

#Nailcheese as a shareable Moment: twitter.com/i/moments/1040…