Aisha Yesufu Profile picture
Sep 16, 2018 27 tweets 10 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Today I am going to talk about marriage and the little things that we do not really think they matter but they are really what makes or break marriage overtime
#HappyMarriage
It is normally said marry someone you like. Like for me is more important in marriage than love. Love is important don't get me wrong but it's like that gets one through the years and years😁
#HappyMarriage
Love is a consuming high energy emotion. Like is a more subtle and durable emotion that is mostly stable. Love can be unstable. There is a thin line between love and hate.
#HappyMarriage
When thinking about marriage focus much on the like part. If there is something major you don't like please move on even if the love is there. It never gets better after marriage it actually gets worse. Now you live with it😁
#HappyMarriage
Many a time the signs are there before marriage but just that many people think it would get better once they are married. Marriage is not a magic wand that gets things better. Work on it or move on before the marriage
#HappyMarriage
Have you seen married couple who are constantly quarrelling yet when brought together for reconciliation there is nothing major they are telling you? Some even end in divorce! It's because of these little things that get each aggravated
#HappyMarriage
Marriage is about commitment. Once you are both 100% commitment you are good to go. Don't bring 50:50 to a marriage. Bring 100:100
#HappyMarriage
What are the little things that get each of you aggravated? Find solutions to them. Remember you are both different people who now have to fit your lives together
#HappyMarriage
You both were brought up differently. You both have had years to build up your habits and you both most respect each other's way.
Do your thing let the other do theirs. It doesn't have to be one way
#HappyMarriage
I have been married for 20 years and the reason why we both have an amazing marriage is because we have made peace with the little things that crop up and there are rules we both respect🤣
#HappyMarriage
So yesterday my husband brought out a new toothpaste and he left the old one. It's a coping mechanism we have adopted. I like to squeeze the last drop out of everything and my husband wouldn't be bothered. He would throw it away and I wouldn't like that. So this!
#HappyMarriage
So now my husband brings out a new one, he has his peace of mind and I have my peace of mind still squeezing out from the old tube. None of us is irritable because of toothpaste and coming at each other. It happens with soap, cream deodorant (We share the same)
#HappyMarriage
There are some couples who fight over using toothpaste from the middle or from the bottom. It was worse when the tubes were hard to squeeze from. My solution to such quarrelling is buy two tubes and let each use theirs the way they want to
#HappyMarriage
Another thing we used to squabble over is bathroom slippers. My husband would always take it to the sitting room and leave it there and take the other out. When I want to use the bathroom there would be no slippers. Now the blue one is mine DONT TOUCH IT
#HappyMarriage
Now each one has his or her own slippers. He can take his own out no wahala but I get to see my own in front of the bathroom and now because his own is never there when he needs to use the bathroom he is more conscious about leaving it there. Case solved
#HappyMarriage
The first 6 years of our marriage we lived in rented flats & shared wardrobe. We quarrelled over who made the wardrobe untidy. I vowed if we have our own house it was one thing we would never share. For the last 14 years we have not shared wardrobe & happier for it
#HappyMarriage
There are many of such examples in any marriage. Find simple solutions to them and move on. It makes your marriage happier. Don't get bogged down fighting unnecessary things that just sap the positive energy in a marriage
#HappyMarriage
Quarrelling just saps the positive energy and brings in loads of negative energy which you cannot use to think progressively. Instead of working together as a couple to achieve your goals you are busy scheming who would hurt each other the most
#HappyMarriage
No matter what the quarrel is about, always remember how much you love each other and the reason you decided to be married in the first place. Also don't both be angry at the same time. Give each other room to be angry one person at a time
#HappyMarriage
Quarrelling would happen but even as you quarrel keep your mind on the lovemaking that follows when you settle. It's usually out of this world😍😍
🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️
#HappyMarriage
Did I forget to talk about the fights over TV channel? We settled that by having TV in different rooms and also having dual view. He can watch his CI in peace while I watch TLC.
We now find ourselves compromising because we want to be together and watch something
#HappyMarriage
Marriage is constantly worked upon and goals set for it. Even though I have been married for 20 years I am always updating, assessing and seeking for feedback. I am always setting marital goals. It must constantly be worked upon and kept fresh. No room for boredom
#HappyMarriage
Work on your marriage the way you work on your business and career.
#HappyMarriage
From replying someone I just realised one coping mechanism we used to deal with unnecessary squabbling over little things. We hired helps. From housekeeper to wash and handy man to cook.
If I were to be doing all these I would be one heck of a bitter woman 😘
#HappyMarriage
My husband jejely started getting helps for me when we got married. He knew me and housework don't jell. I leave myself pampered to do the main work marriage allowed us to do and for which we would both be earning plenty rewards from God
❤❤❤❤
#HappyMarriage
Marriage is about commitment. Once you are both 100% committed you are good to go. Don't bring 50:50 to a marriage. Bring 100:100
#HappyMarriage
"100% Committed"

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More from @AishaYesufu

Sep 19, 2018
#BringBackOurGirls Statement

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

WHAT IS YOUR PRIORITY, MR PRESIDENT? 

INTRODUCTION

Most painfully, today is 1,619 days since school girls of Government Secondary School, Chibok were abducted in their school on April 14, 2014- BBOG #BringBackOurGirls
Of the 219 of the Chibok school girls that were abducted, 107 are back and 112 of their schoolmates remain captives of terrorists. Today is also 212 days since Leah Sharibu was abducted- BBOG #BringBackOurGirls
Leah is the lone Dapchi school girl who was left behind with terrorists,  after the Presidency negotiated release of her 104 colleagues in March 2018- BBOG #BringBackOurGirls
Read 61 tweets
Aug 28, 2018
So Kwankwaso has been denied use of Eagle Square? When they say injustice to one is injustice to all many don't think deep about it. When citizens where being harassed by this govt Kwankwaso was silent. Today it's his turn.
We stand against injustice & say this is unacceptable
If Kwankwaso had spoken against the injustice of shrinking civil space they might have been wary of shrinking political space but then he was silent because na dem dem.
Today it's his turn and we would not be silent because INJUSTICE TO ONE IS INJUSTICE TO ALL
So now that Kwankwaso has been denied use of Eagle Square let me tell him there is Unity Fountain Abuja which citizens defended at the risk of their lives while he looked the other way and enjoyed the perks of power. At the end we are all VICTIMS
Read 5 tweets
Aug 25, 2018
I am going to do a loooooong thread. So many jumbling thoughts I have on women, rights feminism, big mouth, loud mouth, submissive, freedom, being you, whatever. It sure going to be jumbled but my thoughts over time.
#IAmMe
First of all I am called a woman because I have the reproductive organs of a female. So WOMEN is not one person but different people who just happen to share the same reproductive organs.
Stop lumping them into one being.They are different & have a right to different wants
#IAmMe
Every woman is an individual who has a right to her individuality. Every woman has a right to do what she wants to and how she wants to whenever she wants to.
No one woman's right is more important than another woman's right
#IAmMe
Read 44 tweets
Aug 18, 2018
Ayi do you still have money left over from the pocket money given to you?
Those words marked the new phase of my life. I was 11 and wondering why my mum asked the question. She has never been interested in my pocket money.

#BreakingBarriers
@dayus4heaven
I left it in school I said. It is in the provision I kept with my matron. There was such a look of disappointment in my mother's eyes. Worse was that there was no money.

#BreakingBarriers
@dayus4heaven
A senior had asked I should lend her the money and I had given her. That senior is the only person whose name I remember from that school. Months later my parents would go back for the money and provision and of course there was no money

#BreakingBarriers
@dayus4heaven
Read 26 tweets
Aug 5, 2018
@ilynem
My conversation with you inspired this write up and I wil call it #DreamForAll
As a child I discovered books and it opened up a whole new world for me. You wouldn't find me without a book. I read and read and read.
During holidays I read everything I could get my hands on. I read all the books my Dad had in his library. I read encyclopedia, books on psychology, motivational books. By age 12 I was reading Dale Carnegie and co. I read because I had to be reading something.
Ironically for all my reading I never developed the habit of reading Newspaper. My father was an avid reader of Newspapers still is. He used to buy 5 Newspapers everyday (Daily Times, Concord, New Nigeria, X X) I cant remember the other two then there was a weekly one on business
Read 36 tweets
Jul 31, 2018
#BringBackOurGirls Statement

Mass Killings Of Nigerian Soldiers

30th July 2018

The reports of an ambush on our Military by Boko Haram, almost a forthnight ago, were swiftly denied by the Military authority.
@BBOG_Nigeria
Unfortunately, photos of mass burials for fallen heroes emerged within the last six days without further information from the military authority.

#BringBackOurGirls
Were Nigerians not told that the military has won the war? What then is the reason for the escalation of attacks by the terrorists and the heightened loss of life of citizens and our soldiers?

#BringBackOurGirls
Read 14 tweets

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