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Sep 21, 2018 22 tweets 4 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Complex PTSD is when you want to go out for a walk but can't go anywhere alone. And your friend offers to come with you and you cry with gratitude.
Complex PTSD is when your headphones break and so you can't leave the house until you get new ones, because they signal you don't want to be approached and you don't want to hear any one talking to you in the street.
Complex PTSD is waking up in the night and every shadow is a man standing over you and he's going to rape you. You are frozen, dripping with sweat and can only sob till the shadows disappear.
Complex PTSD is when your triggers are men in authority, strange men, familiar men, men on the phone, kind men, scary men, strong men and gentle men, shouting men, calm men.
Complex PTSD is when you're trying to negotiate with men and your trigger is complete and unwavering dissociative compliance. So you have to avoid men to protect yourself from this.
Complex PTSD is when you are always on high alert so you can't tell real danger from safety and that's why you've been raped and sexually assaulted multiple times in your life.
Complex PTSD is when you hear about the gender recognition act and how all female spaces might become unisex and the horror of that causes 2 suicide attempts and a complete and total relapse.
Complex PTSD is when you're so stressed that your brain says words that you didn't mean to say or you forget how to say words and people think you might have dementia.
Complex PTSD is when you try to express your concerns about being able to speak with men or share spaces with men in everyday life but you can't find the words.
Complex PTSD is when you know when you are triggered you can become either compliant and submissive, violent or run away in blind dissociative panic and you don't want to hurt anyone or yourself so you avoid all the fun things you used to be able to do.
Complex PTSD is when you have been trying for years to get help on the NHS but all they offer is web based chat and tablets. They discharge you because you're too high risk and you're left with no care at all.
Complex PTSD is when you feel like you're all better because you are so good at practicing avoidance, so you plan to do something fun or think about college or work which leads to a catastrophic panic attack or relapse.
Complex PTSD is when you always felt comfortable around boys as a girl, was a typical "tomboy" and "one of the lads" and can't understand why they've consistently raped, abused and hurt you, but still you love them, but are terrified and confused and blame yourself.
Complex PTSD is when you never want to get better because being hyper vigilant and wary may keep you safe. But desperately wanting relief from the 24/7 terror and reminders.
Complex PTSD is being furious, LIVID that when dogs are attacked, everyone says "she's nervous, don't approach her. She doesn't like other dogs" and everyone accepts that. But human beings are told "not all men" and to "get over it" and "misandrist".
Complex PTSD is the abject terror you experience every time you are told "this is now a unisex changing room". And when you express your concerns about this are told "well no one has been assaulted in here" and you realise you're going to have to give up all your freedoms.
Complex PTSD is when no one listens to your concerns about gender neutral spaces and the impact it is having on sufferers of PTSD like me. They don't believe you and think you've made up being raped like it never even happens to women and girls. And you break inside some more.
Complex PTSD is when you fill out the #GRAconsultation but there are no questions for victims of male violence, rape and so on and how it will affect us. But plenty for trans people and their feelings.
Complex PTSD is when you quit your Rape Crisis therapy because you have no choice about sharing the waiting room with men.
Complex PTSD is when you report your rape to the police and they give you no choice to say no to a man that performs the internal examination, and that is as traumatic and painful as the rape you experienced a few hours before.
Please do add to this tweet in regards to the Gender Recognition Act Consultation. Let it form part of our consultation. We weren't asked about our views as rape and male violence survivors, so we should absolutely make our views heard any way we can...
Complex PTSD is triggered when the #GRAconsultation didn't include rape survivor's views on whether we want our spaces to include #selfID women, even though single sex spaces were fought for & won, to protect women & girls from rape and assault.

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