"Brett Kavanaugh raped and murdered my wife."
Brett Kavanaugh killed Nicole and Ron Goldman
Brett Kavanaugh is responsible for the death of Chandra Levy
Brett Kavanaugh raped Tawana Brawley
Brett used the alias Haven Monahan when preying on college girls.
Brett Kavanaugh also did unspeakable things to Crystal Ray Mangum
And on a trip to New York he made time for a chill sesh with Emma.
Brett Kavanaugh framed Boo Radley
Brett Kavanaugh traveled back in time and joined the Japanese Imperial Forces just so he could rape Nanking
Brett Kavanaugh kidnapped Helen
Brett Kavanaugh supplied the TANG letter to Dan Rather...

... thereby completing what he started decades earlier with "Kenneth, what's the frequency?"
Brett Kavanaugh killed Vincent Foster.

Brett Kavanaugh killed Seth Rich.
Before it was flooded by the dam, Brett Kavanaugh was fond of camping in the Cahulawassee River valley.
Brett Kavanaugh is a big fan of pinball.
Brett Kavanaugh deflated Brady's balls.
Brett Kavanaugh goes around at night and randomly steals single socks out of your dryer
Brett Kavanaugh ordered a code red.
Brett Kavanaugh only takes pennies, never leaves any.
Brett Kavanaugh sneaks into houses late at night and dumps your kids' legos in the middle of a walkway.
Brett Kavanaugh makes milk go sour and can stop churning from making butter with a glance.
Shingles is actually the body's reaction to Brett Kavanaugh
Brett Kavanaugh rounds up Christian Children for use in making Matzah
Brett Kavanaugh gave Soros his orders.
Brett Kavanaugh's financial speculation is keeping the Bolivarian revolution from its well-deserved economic success.

He has recently turned his sights on South Africa, Turkey, and Argentina.
Brett Kavanaugh is the luminiferous aether.

He works in epicycles.
It was actually Brett Kavanaugh who killed Jesus.

For an encore, he killed Ali bin Abi Talib
All the #oorthography typos in ClarkHat's tweets were surreptitiously inserted by Brett Kavanaugh.

(Not no, he was not Clark, pbuh #besthat)
Brett Kavanaugh leaked information about a certain tweeter who enjoyed being pegged.
Brett Kavanaugh is #qanon. He also whispers subliminal messages into Louise Mensch's bedroom at night.
Brett Kavanaugh actually runs the #GCC. From his government leaks, he has allowed them to leapfrog our military technology BY DECADES.

Brett Kavanaugh cancelled Last Man Standing and Rosanne.

He also made sure that there was never any second season of Firefly.
On his vacations, Brett Kavanaugh likes to slum it as a farmhand. He is absolutely obsessed with decking screws, which are his calling card.

When the farmhands don't show up, it's because Brett is hearing oral argument.
Brett Kavanaugh is blackmailing @GRRMspeaking to make sure that the Winds of Winter will never be released. (To say nothing of A Dream of Spring).
@GRRMspeaking (If you knew what Brett Kavanaugh was doing to @PatrickRothfuss, you would probably never sleep again).
@GRRMspeaking @PatrickRothfuss Brett Kavanaugh's two favorite SFF authors of all time are Samuel Delany and Marion Zimmer Bradley.
@GRRMspeaking @PatrickRothfuss Brett Kavanaugh was the bitch who set up Marion Barry
Brett Kavanaugh made Guam tip over one time.
Brett Kavanaugh is known to the state of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.
Brett Kavanaugh is not ADA-compliant
Brett Kavanaugh uses plastic straws
It is actually Brett Kavanaugh, not a missing crew member, weather, refueling, a mechanical glitch, or missing paperwork, who is responsible for your flight delay.
Brett Kavanaugh got Scalzi addicted to soy and birth control pills, and inspired the pedophilia content in NK Jemisin's garbage books.
Brett Kavanaugh killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand and wrote the Zimmermann telegram.
Brett Kavanaugh taught Dusty Baker and the Mets system proper pitcher usage and development.
Brett Kavanaugh spiked Lance Armstrong's urine samples.
Brett Kavanaugh came up with the #shadowban
Brett Kavanaugh is responsible for the cost of health insurance and prescription drugs
Brett Kavanaugh spiked his coffee with glyphosate and fucked up the drinking water in Flint.
Brett Kavanaugh makes vaccines cause autism
Brett Kavanaugh wrote the original screenplays for Matrix Revoutions, Godfather III, and the final season of BSG
Brett Kavanaugh's recut is why Greedo shot first.
Brett Kavanaugh's sick fetish was why there were nipples on the suits in Batman Forever
Brett Kavanaugh was Kevin Costner's voice coach for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Brett Kavanaugh refused to call Crash Davis back up to the majors.
Brett Kavanaugh laughed when Aeris died. He thinks that it was funny when Porom and Palom turned to stone, and was giddy at what happened when Tellah cast Meteo.
Brett Kavanaugh liked the ending of Mass Effect 3 so much that he was the head of development for Mass Effect Andromeda
Brett Kavanaugh was responsible for Lady Sybil's pre-eclampsia and crashed Matthew Crawley's car.
Brett Kavanaugh rammed the Titanic into the iceberg.

He also was chain-smoking on the Hindenburg.
Brett Kavanaugh hangs his toilet paper down the back, and never bothers to replace the roll when he's done.
Brett Kavanaugh invented Hawaiian Pizza and Skyline Chili.
Brett Kavanaugh cannot get an erection without eating a well-done steak
Brett Kavanaugh only likes instant grits.
Brett Kavanaugh has never seen My Cousin Vinny
Brett Kavanaugh roots for Cobra Kai
Brett Kavanaugh selected Kevin Rooney as principal.
Brett Kavanaugh shot both J.R. and Mr. Burns.
Brett Kavanaugh faked the moon landing.
Little known fact:. Brett Kavanaugh's first opinion as a judge REQUIRED hot dogs to come in ten-packs but PROHIBITED buns from coming in quantities greater than 8.
Brett Kavanaugh's favorite flavor of ice cream is Rum Raisin.
Brett Kavanaugh still cuts the crusts off of his sandwiches.
Brett Kavanaugh's house is decorated with Velvet Elvi, dogs playing poker, and the old school Doors poster.
Brett Kavanaugh sometimes forgets to say "excuse me" when he burps. And don't expect anything from him if you sneeze when he's around!
Brett Kavanaugh has double-parked a car on no fewer than four different occasions during his life.
As a child, Brett Kavanaugh never wore a seatbelt.
Brett Kavanaugh's favorite wine labels are Carlo Rossi and Charles Shaw.
Brett Kavanaugh bags his groceries in paper AND plastic.
Brett Kavanaugh only uses Canola oil, and no other kind, in his cooking.

(This one is obscure.)
Brett Kavanaugh hits on 17.
Brett Kavanaugh DOES NOT COMPOST!
Brett Kavanaugh swims IMMEDIATELY after eating.
Brett Kavanaugh splits apart multipacks for individual resale.
In high school, Brett Kavanaugh also removed the tags from no fewer than three mattresses he did not own!
Brett Kavanaugh roots for the Green Knight at Medieval Times.
Brett Kavanaugh has never laughed at a Mel Brooks movie.
Brett Kavanaugh only listens to Nickelback and Kenny G while prepping for oral argument
Brett Kavanaugh never tips above 19%
Brett Kavanaugh regularly steals french fries off of his wife's plate.
Guess who is really bad at putting the toilet seat back down, despite being married with two daughters?

You guessed it: BRETT KAVANAUGH
Brett Kavanaugh aspires to get a handbag-sized Chihuahua...

... to fit in his murse.
Brett Kavanaugh is always keeping up with the Kardashians.
Brett Kavanaugh eats with his fork in his right hand.
Brett Kavanaugh currently has several overdue library books
Brett Kavanaugh typically stays in his hotel room until 12:15 or even 12:30 despite being told of the 12:00 noon checkout time.

Due to this thread, I just received a DM from someone close to Kavanaugh during his youth.

Based on what I was just told, I can now disclose that

Brett Kavanaugh has been known to use a #3 pencil.
Brett Kavanaugh eats BBQ chicken with a fork and knife.
Brett Kavanaugh only drinks decaf
Brett Kavanaugh went to Vegas for the first night of Britney's residence
Brett Kavanaugh does not cry at the end of Old Yeller
Around the house, Brett Kavanaugh wears socks with sandals.
Brett Kavanaugh keeps medication past its expiration date.
Brett Kavanaugh has never given a courtesy flush.
Ever wonder exactly why Koalas have a raging Chlamydia epidemic?

No, you know why. It's Brett Kavanaugh!
Pandas won't fuck in captivity because they're protesting the Kavanaugh nomination
Brett Kavanaugh is only happy when it rains.
Mike Pence will never be alone with Brett Kavanaugh
At In'n'Out, Brett Kavanaugh refuses to order ANYTHING animal style.
Brett Kavanaugh prefers BBQ chicken to burnt ends and ribs
Despite his name, Brett Kavanaugh dislikes the Shamrock Shake.

And he cares nothing for the McRib.
Brett Kavanaugh wants Donnie to keep on talking.
Brett Kavanaugh is why you get hungry again 15 minutes after eating Chinese food.

He's also why your Indian food is TAKING. FOR. EVER. to come out from the kitchen.
Brett Kavanaugh voted for Gerald Ford.
(and that's it for tonight)

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More from @BostonDelendEst

Jul 8, 2018
Here's the concrete reason - the labor theory of value is bullshit. How hard you work is wholly irrelevant if the product is worthless.
Coming soon: A Frank Discussion™ on why the bullshit labor theory of value is responsible for...

*shuffles deck, draws card*

Modern and post-modern art?! (Yes, I'm dead serious).
First, terminology.

I'm using "Labor Theory of Value" to describe value based not on a product's objective criteria, but derived in some general sense from the labor inputs. This is not just the gross amount of TIME spent, or EFFORT per se, but includes the value of the creator.
Read 36 tweets

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