Thread by @sometimesalight

Like many in US, I've been watching the #KavanaughHearings closely. I don't know what happened or didn't happen 36 years, but I do know what I'm seeing now & quite frankly, it's not good.

As a conservative woman, I've spent the last couple of weeks agitated, uncomfortable, & confused. I couldn't put my finger on it. I support both survivors & due process, but something's been off.

Yesterday, I finally found words for my agitation & then I read this article this morning & it confirmed what I've been struggling with. washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/styl…

As a conservative, I believe men & women are created differently & that our corresponding strengths & weaknesses are for our common good.

Men & women bear distinct privileges & responsibilities in society. And one of the main responsibilities of men is to use their strength & status to protect women & children.

(I'm that strange sort of person who believes in male privilege as a fact of life but also thinks that it's not necessarily a bad thing. It only becomes bad is when immature men use privilege to protect themselves.)

So one of the main things I'm struggling w/ thru #KavanaughHearings is how easily & quickly conservatives have called on WOMEN to protect men.

Things like this:

Don't get me wrong. I'm not naive. I understand the politics behind it all & I'm not making a statement about the allegations against Kavanaugh. I'm talking about our response to them.

But here's one of the main response I'm seeing: Women are being called to protect their husbands, fathers, brothers, & sons. This is a fundamental reversal of reality.

Women simply do not have power to protect men in broader society. When you put a woman btwn a man & a threat, all she does is become a human shield.

But here's the thing: good women love men. We really do. We love our brothers & fathers & husbands & sons. We want to serve & protect them--even to our own hurt.

The WaPo piece I linked to reports on how many women didn't tell their fathers about being assaulted in order to preserve *them* from pain, confusion, & potential retaliation.

They loved their fathers but something failed in those relationships. Somewhere along the line, they didn't understand the men in their lives are their protectors. Why?

I think there are a lot of reasons for this:
Women are taught to be independent.
Men are taught to let them be.
Women naturally want to protect men they love.
Men don't realize how much the women they love need their protection.

But more broadly, I'm afraid too many men see women are existing to enable their lives & careers. They do not understand *their* responsibilities TO women.

And when this happens, it's all too easy to rally women to do the work that men w/ power should be doing. In the case of #KavanaughHearings, that work is preserving due process for BOTH accused & accuser.

Instead, I have seen a rush by conservatives to frame this as men vs. women & then to protect the man. But that framing is lazy & simplistic. It requires nothing of men w/ power.

The proper frame is mature men vs. immature men. Will the men w/ political power act w/ maturity or immaturity? Will they shoulder the responsibility to create a just society for *everyone* under their care?

Or will they continue to operate in the tired trope of men vs. women? Will they continue to see this as an existential threat to maleness? A threat they must enlist women to protect them from?

The real Q of #KavanaughHearings is not whether women can accuse men of sexual assault, but whether we are a society willing to hear accusations of sexual assault, investigate them, & pursue justice for everyone involved.

And building that kind of society requires men of courage & integrity. Men who understand their power & are willing to use it to protect--not just other men--but *everyone* under their care.