Thread by @tonygoldmark

FUCK YEAH WONDER WOMAN!!! ALL THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR YOUUUUU...TO SAVE THIS SHITPILE MOVIE!

I've heard that in theaters, audiences CHEERED when Wonder Woman finally showed up, and I believe every word. What a breath of fresh air.

RIGHT?!?

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @moviegeek view original on Twitter

Y'know...even if WONDER WOMAN hadn't been as great as it was...God DAMN did DC put the cart before the horse with this entire universe.

The fact that Wonder Woman just SHOWING UP to kick some ass at the end of BVS provoked such a response...

...is a testament to how fucking sick everyone is of Batman and Superman.

Not just in this movie. In movies, in general.

This was the first time a live-action Wonder Woman, in full costume, had ever appeared on the big screen.

And the wait was WAY too long.

To the point where, when it finally happened, JUST THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENED was a triumphant revelation.

Imagine if WB had STARTED their cinematic universe with the first-ever Wonder Woman movie. Imagine how fundamentally different it'd all be.

But then it probably woulda been that shitawful Whedon script and we wouldn't have gotten the WW movie we got. I guess it's a trade-off.

"Is she with you?" "I thought she was with you." That's right kids, Bats and Supes are fucking useless in their own damn movie.

Couldn't resist an upskirt shot, couldja Snyder?

Oh good, Wonder Woman's lassoing the monster. NOW he'll tell the truth!

He may *claim* "AAAAAAAGGH BRAAAAAAGH" but I can tell he really "BRAAAAAAAAGH AAAAAAAGH!" Nothing gets past me.

How can Superman still fly if he's carrying the kryptonite spear?

Don't worry kids, I'm sure Superman's only pretending to be dead to be sarcastic. Movie justified!

Shaved Lex Landisberg just looks like Eminem. #MarthasSpaghetti

So, TWO MOVIES into their cinematic universe, they kill off Superman.

I'd heard that they did that, but the full weight of how colossally stupid that decision is really doesn't hit you til you see it in context

Yes, let's give Superman the funeral of an American hero...who co-9/11'd a city and, for all these people know, blew up Congress.

Dammit, dumb as it is, this funeral stuff is almost making me feel something. Quick, cut to Jake Tapper!

"Help me find the others like you...the others with moms named Martha."
"My mother was named Hippolyta."
"Well FUCK OFF then!"

"We have to stand together."
(Diana gives the world's biggest "so fucking goddamn DONE with this shit" sigh)

"A hundred years ago I walked away from mankind." Wait, what?

So...after the events of WONDER WOMAN, she just...stopped?

That's...guh...duh...fuh...

"Men are still good." Fuck you, Bruce. Fuck you with a fifty-foot-tall cactus.

Fuck the end of this movie for presenting Goddamn BATFLECK as less cynical than Wonder Goddamn Woman.

"We can do better." And Patty Jenkins did.

Seriously Goddamn FUUUUUUUCK this stupid monkey-ass movie for putting the inspirational final words in BRUCE'S mouth and not Diana's.

Jesus suffering fuck what a colossal miscalculation on every conceivable level this turd is.

OH, MY MISTAKE! Those *weren't* the final words, even though they felt every inch like they were!

This movie was made by developmentally-disabled rhesus monkeys and we've still got more Lex Landisberg shenanigans!

Yes, Mr. Sherman. Everything's ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.

AND HE ACTUALLY TURNED THE PAINTING UPSIDE-DOWN HOLY FUCK THIS MOVIE REFUSES TO FUCKING END

I wish I gave the smallest slice of a shit who the "he" in "he's hungry and he's coming" refers to. Really I do.

And it's FINALLY fucking over. Shit fuck God that was terrible.

Yes, it was indeed worse than MAN OF STEEL, which was bad, but mostly bad in the same bland ways a lot of blockbusters are.

BVS...ho-ho-ho-HOLY shit, BVS found entirely NEW ways to be bad. GENERATIONS will be unpacking the sheer suckitude of this fiasco.

I loved Gadot as Diana (but it's POSSIBLE that's my residual WW love talking, as she was SEVERELY misused in a couple crucial scenes here)

...and I liked Jeremy Irons as Kif-Alfred quite a bit.

Otherwise, this movie was a shit sandwich on ass bread with a side of fuck it and a large granny's peach tea with no ice.

Wow, it's 6:27 in the morning. The sun is starting to rise outside. I really have been up all night dissecting this juicy fart, haven't I?

So yeah, the best parts of this shit were better than MoS, but the worst parts were way way WAAAAAAAAY worse.

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen...

...Dear GOD I miss Adam West.