Thread by @ShefVaidya

#ReadTheThread A Saraswat and a Baniya, I mean, Rajdeep and Shekhar, went out for dinner at a nice swanky restaurant called 'The Caste-A-Way'.

The waiter brought the Menu card. Even before they opened it, Shekhar asked in his best constantly constipated Ravish imitation, 'Kaun Jaat Ho'?

'Kshatriya sir,' replied the waiter.

You have money, but no class, Go away and send a OBC waiter', commanded Rajdeep imperiously.

The waiter went away, and soon enough, another waiter appeared.

'Are you OBC'? Asked Shekhar

'Yes Sir', replied the waiter.

'Okay, we'll order drinks and starters from you. That's 33% of d food. For the main course, send us a Dalit waiter. We are social justice warriors.' Announced Rajdeep.

'Sir, this is a restaurant. We only have table reservations here, not caste reservations'. Replied the waiter.

Rajdeep got up from his seat and started hitting the waiter, 'Has Modi taught you to behave like this?' Rajdeep asked.

The Manager ran in to break the fight.

'Kaun Jaat Ho?' Asked Shekhar.

'Brahmin Sir', replied the manager.

'You Manuwadi, patriarchal, Savarna oppressor! Why are you mistreating this poor OBC waiter? Unless you are a Saraswat, coz in that case, you qualify for Saraswat Pride caste waiver' Said Rajdeep.

The waiter who was jostling with Rajdeep, took this opportunity to land a fine uppercut on his jaw.

Meanwhile, Shekhar was already thinking of the next headline for print, 'Are waiters from ‘lower’ castes and subaltern groups more aggressive?'

Finally, Rajdeep and Shekhar finished their dinner and asked for the bill. They were both thrilled to see that the bill came to 2002 Rs, after GST.

'I'll pay by card', said Rajdeep and offered his Platinum Victim Card!

But Sir, this card won't work here', said the third waiter, who was a Dalit.

'There are some things like RW trolls that sycophancy can't buy. For everything else, there's the Victim Card', replied Shekhar Gupta as he walked away w/o paying the bill.