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Feb 18, 2018 76 tweets 26 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
*Steps into pulpit*
*Pushes glasses up on nose*
*Opens text*
*Looks out at the congregation*


Good evening, church. I trust we are all still high in spirit from journeying to visit our kinfolk in Wakanda. Amen?

I know some of you hoped I would pay tribute to #BlackPanther this week, but there’s still another sermon left in Black History Month.
Tonight we’re going to go in a mildly trifling direction. Tarry with me for a while..
Now last week we talked about that Song of Solomon love; songs about life changing, all encompassing, can’t get enought, pour your heart out love.…
But a while ago, we talked about how as much trash as we talk about current R&B, we forget there was a whooole genre of adultery R&B. Not just I’ll take your man/girl; straight I’m in a whole relationship with your husband/wife.…
But I said then, that music ain't got sh*t on the blues. Then the blues evolved into a soul/blues hybrid, ALL about affairs, fights, confronting side pieces, and/or just sex.
Music that was too raunchy for radio, so it only played in jukeboxes down at the spot: Juke Joint Music,
But first, ya'll know the drill: a few church announcements.
1. This is by no means meant to be exhaustive, in part because the more current the music in this genre, the more regional and kind of obscure it is.
2. There will be a lot of music clips instead of live clips tonight, but trust me, it's worth the listen.
3. As I say every week, once I get going there are sometimes (always) a few typos that I don't catch until I'm further down the thread. I ask that you just try to figure them out in context. Amen.
Having some tech second...
So we can't get into Juke Joint Music without starting in the Blues, proper. And the thread to modern day hole-in-the-wall jams starts at the feet of Koko Taylor, the Queen of the Blues.
And you gotta with what could be the Juke Joint National Anthem: "Wang Dang Doodle"
"Wang Dang Doodle" is Koko's signature song, and it set the tone for everything that came after, cause this is exactly what goes down at these spots..
"Gonna romp and tromp 'till midnite
We're gonna fuss and fight 'till daylight
We're gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all night long
Part of Juke Joint Music is sh*t talking, and Koko gave you that in spades:
I'm a love maker
I'm a woman, you know I'm an earth shaker
I'm a woman, I'm a rushing wind
I'm a woman, I can cut stone with a pin
I'm a woman, I know my stuff
I'm a woman, I ain't never had enough
And folks been blaming Betty Wright for having Aunties and Grandmas preaching that a piece of a man is better than no man, but...but some of that blame lay with Koko, too.
Having acknowledged the Grandmother of Juke Joint Music, we now turn to the Grandfather; the literal blind boy of Alabama: Clarence Carter.
A journalist said Clarance "made an entire career from tales of unbridled love & illicit sex" 😶 including this "superior. cheaters ballad"
"Slip Away", recorded at Muscle Shoals, was a platinum record (I be telling ya'll about these adulterous ass hits), followed by another platinum + Grammy-winning song about a 13 year old boy who had to work the fields to save the family b/c his dad died (clearly different times)
"Patches" is a little different thematically than the rest of the songs tonight, but I included it bc a key part of blues/juke joint music is it's "I've worked hard as hell & I'm wo' out a& need to drink before I have to do it all over again" music. Usually in a place like this
All them fights, all that rabble rousing...that time your great-uncle shot a man because he was sleeping with your auntie, but they stayed together and your grandfather maybe ain't his but it don't even matter...That was working out the frustrations from just... life.
Anyway, back to the music.
LATE in his career, after disco temporarily derailed him, Clarence did what I think is probably one of the first of the modern Juke Joint/Soul Blues songs: "Strokin'"
*two steps with cup in hand* "That's what I be doing..."
Now let's talk about Mother Denise LaSalle and how she did not come to play with ya'll.
Laid her game down quite flat. She was out here advocating for women everywhere, tbh,
We joke today about how side pieces have gotten bold and forgotten their place, but maybe it's just a return to the old days, because we're going to see a couple of instances tonight of sides acting like sisterwives, like Denise telling sis that her husband is cheating on THEM.
Denise was even writing affair ballads for OTHER people. She gave Barbara Mandrell an R&B crossover hit with "Married, But Not to Each Other" (also, let me point out again that Country and R&B are cousins).
But I guess in her older age she found religion, because then she was like "Nah...leave my toot toot alone; you ain't sh*t"
Now.. Let's talk about Ol' Johnnie Taylor.
Johnnie is the king of this sh*t.
EVERY SONG about some drama. And your elders were jamming to all of'em.

During his Stax days, he had a hit with "Gotta Love Somebody's Baby," written by label-mate Isaac Hayes.
But Johnny also gave cheaters something to think about...
Mostly, while you out cheatin', what do you think is going on at'cho crib?
This is a #1 R&B, #5 Hot 100, platinum sales. Grandma and 'nem got it in, ya'll.
And of course Johnnie also warned dudes against just breaking out when things got rough. Naw, not because you love her so much, cause she gonna put them papers on you, dawg. (He also has a song called "She's Got Papers on Me")
Look at the first couple they put the camera on 😆
Johnnie answered his own "Who's Making Love...", warning about a cat named Jody who was bagging women while their men were down at the plant.
"The ashes in your ashtray, footprints on your carpet. He even got the nerve to sleep in your bed, sit down at the table, eat your bread"
As an aside, disco almost killed Clarence Carter's career, but Johnnie Taylor rolled right on into it.
Lemme introduce ya'll who aren't familiar to Bobby Rush.

Uncle Bobby don't GAF.

Not one.

Also please get into his dancers. This is only like 3 years ago. LOL
Bobby is COMEDY... and was talking about Chicken Heads and Hoochie Mama’s long before bass music, but maybe not the way you think.
Actually, wait, it was Marvin Sease talking about hoochie mamas in a positive way (we'll get there); Bobby has a "Hoochie Mama" song, too, but he's better known for being the Hoochie Coochie MAN...
And if you felt like you was gonna run up on Bobby (or his dancers) and tell him somethin' about his ol' lady, he had some words for you...he ain't studying' you
I just know Bobby's dancer gotta be named Darlene. She look like a Darlene.
Ok, let's talk about Millie Jackson... the auntie you can't leave round your Daddy, your man, your friends... none of them. She gonna corner them in the kitchen after dinner.
Like I really just don't even have a lot to say about Millie because she's so much that I don't have the words.
Just know that the Auntie's were out here laying the foundation so we wouldn't have to fight for what we needed in the bedroom later. Amen.
Yes, yes she was.

Millie Jackson stayed on one, but on the low she had this great, raspy voice (almost like a more aggressive Gladys) and her band was hittin. You just kinda missed that in the middle of everything else.
You know who else ain't have no chill?
Marvin Sease.

Remember I mentioned Johnnie Taylor's song about the dude named Jody that was rolling up in houses as soon as dudes went to work?

Marvin did a song called "I'm Mr Jody"

Nah, dude would have rolled up with a shot gun IRL.
Even now, in his old age, Marvin ain't chillin'. Which I actually appreciate.
These artists ain't modify a single thing as they got older.

Marvin asked for all the hoochie mamas to come up to the stage, and all ya'lls mamas broke they neck to get up there!!
Millie Jackson's "Slow Tongue" walked so Marvin Sease's "Candy Licker" could run.

With Candy Licker, Marvin solidified his uh... niche.
Pu**y eating music, if you will.
But of course Juke Joint Music ain't real if there ain't some adultery ballads in there somewhere.
Marvin making lists of pros and cons about his wife and his mistress cause he can't decide.
There were a group of artists who lived maybe a little more solidly in the R&B lane than these OG's we've covered so far, but they were still in the same musical pocket.
One was Latimore (and his hair). Juke Joint songs are about cheating and fighting, but also about making up.
And then there was Auntie Shirley. And do this day I cannot imagine calling the other woman and casually asking her to understand that I love my man and to let him go so I can continue to pay all his bills and cook all his food and ...I wish the f*ck...
...and that's exactly why Barbara Mason felt bold enough to show her ass and answer Shirley back like "tuh"...
But then Barbara turned being the side chick into her whole career - pardon me, MISTRESS. Because he songs were about the fact that he may have been married to YOU, but he's WITH ME. (or whatever...)
You be nagging him, I give him peace... *eye roll*
...until she apparently DID get tired of not demanding "no promises, no papers and no rings"
And then Barbara got the ultimate karma visited upon her when the man she stole cheated on *her*....with another man. 😶
Issa bop, though!
If you got a dance partner grab them right quick.

Let's talk about Betty Wright.
Betty was out here warning ya'll about what would happen if you didn't take care of your man...
(come on, step in the wah-tah...UH)
BUT...but...Auntie Betty was also telling you that getting dogged by your man was just something you had to go through. Earning your man while you learning your man... hmmm...
Also I remember the first time I put this song together with Snoop's lyrics in "Nuthin' but a G Thang"
So now we come to the more modern Blues Soul/Juke Joint/ Likka House music. If "Strokin'" was the Grandfather, and "Candy Licker is the Father", "Stand Up In It" is the son.
And the great thing about these latter-day joints?

If I ever meet Theodis Ealey, we gonna have a chat about the fact that he followed "Stand Up In It" with a song called "Let Me Put the Head In".

Yes, your mama and Auntie's was going out on Friday night and getting their step on with Carl & Junebug to this problematic ass song.
So check it, I have no real idea exactly when any of these songs came out more than general decades, because they really exist in a musical space that defies time, so I may be bouncing around chronologically.

Anyway, the GJ's might be my favorite bc this is a whole party.
...also you know its a hit if there's a

I'd like to put the motion to make "Hell to the Naw" the #MusicSermon congregational hymn on the agenda for the next official board meeting. *Looks at Deacons* 👀
(The ad libs on this joint KILL ME)
Listen, I didn't know who Nellie "Tiger" Travis was before last week, but she does my kind of carrying on.
She is EVERY southern Auntie who's still in them streets stereotype known to man. You'll see in a minute.
But first, she wants to know what you gonna do if she backs it up

This. is. their. jam.
Remember I just said Nellie does my kind of carrying on?
Please get into it.

This video is amazing.
...and of course there's a line dance. Clearly.
The thing about Likka House/ Juke Joint/Hole in the Wall music now (maybe always) is that it's super regional. So I come across these songs sometimes and honestly think they're parody, not knowing Shirl & Faye are jamming to these on Thursday nights.
Like Big Cynthia...
...and the end of the "Nookie Thing" video was a straight plot twist 🤦🏾‍♀️
And then I found THIS gem from Big Cynthia...

...and I died. I'm dead right now even listening to it again.

She just starts OFF outta pocket. SMH.
This Casio-keyboard track just...
So I know that Sir Charles Jones is popular in this subgenre, but I had to just post this one song, because ONLY IN THIS SPACE, would a song about your wife telling you your baby ain't yours be a ballad.
And I bet this rang OFF in the spot. Both men and women can be like "This is my sh*t*
We talked about Mr. Jody earlier...
Well, there was also a Ms. Jody.
No, not a song. Her whole entire name.
The SONG is..... "Your Dog is Gonna Kill My Cat" (and please peep the album title).
There's a word in this song, though, if we keepin' it a buck.
These songs are so beloved bc they say sh*t most of us would never actually say straight out, let alone put it to music and dance + sing along at the top of your lungs with a red cup in your hand.
The fact that the "sexy" elements of this video are cooking & doing laundry 😂...
I know there are more artists/songs I could have included here, but we're gonna wrap up with the two that put this on my heart for this week. (It's actually an appropriate wknd-after-Valentine's theme, kinda 😬).
I discovered Pokey Bear this week, and my life changed...
And then one of my beloved Sermonites sent me the reply and told me there was a mini-movie with Karlie Redd and Mystikal and I just knew this was my message for this week. Sometimes the spirit is too strong to ignore.
Also, these aunties can sing, and this is a jam on the low.
Ok, if all hearts and minds are FULL (and sufficiently recovered if this was new to you 🤣)


May the joy and beauty of music keep you.
May music wash over you, and be healing unto you.
May the warmth of music envelope you, and bring you peace.

And all the people said...
There will be a playlist tomorrow. As the ushers come forward, if you are moved to give to the building fund (new website), tithes (streaming subscriptions), or just a love offering, you can so so here$NaimaCochrane

For Spotify…

For Apple Music…

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More from @naima

Sep 4, 2018
Alright ya’ll, we’re figuring out *our* hashtag for #BobbyBrownBET (bc, no shots to BET, but Bobby needs some flair).
Cast your vote below before 3pm ET.
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Sep 2, 2018
Happy Sunday, fam. There will probably be a sermon on tonight (but it may be tomorrow. I’m waiting for the spirit to hit). In the meantime, we finished counting down your Top 11 favorite #MusicSermons from our first year. Catch up with them here:…
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I haven’t really moved beyond scrolling twitter and changing the tv channels from the comfort of my couch.
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Aug 12, 2018
Happy Sunday, fam! The *plan* is to do an early-ish sermon today (around 7) to be done in time for #Insecure.
But I’m also gonna be day-drinking, so let’s see what happens!! 🤷🏽‍♀️

#ICYMI, we finished our Director’s series on Monday w/ Hype Williams.…
Aight, I just got home. I need to get settled and organized but we ARE doing a #MusicSermon tonight. I expect to open the doors of the church around 8/8:30, we’ll rock until #InsecureHBO, take an intermission to watch as a family, then finish service.
*Steps into pulpit without robes*
*Adjust mic*
*Clears throat*

Happy Sunday, family.
I’m not ready to get started just yet (there’s alot of content. You’ll understand in a minute). I am, however, gonna break protocol and - for the first time - set the sermon up, then come back.
Read 76 tweets
Jul 29, 2018
It's #MusicSermon's BIRTHDAY!!! 🍾🎉
There will be a special Anniversary Service on this evening.

In the meantime, I wrote a little something about #MusicSermon's first year over on the site.

See ya'll this evening! ⛪️…
I’ll be opening the doors of the church around 8pm, and immediate after service I’m dropping the new #MusicSermon bracket 👀 #PleaseGovernYourselvesAccordingly
Grabbing food and getting organized, then we’ll get started on tonight’s special Anniversary #MusicSermon service. I think this might be a two-nighter.
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Jul 23, 2018
My ni**a this was on NATIONAL TV TWENTY YEARS AGO and ya’ll be like “I need receipts”...
I don’t even...
I also doubt the “pee” tape was still circulating by mid-00’s (at least I hope), but if you ever saw that tape, that was CHILD. She LOOKED like a child. There was no “I thought she was older...” nah.
Wait, the Toure interview happened in 08. I thought it was around the trial. STILL, that means he was FORTY something and couldn’t answer a question about teenage girls. Smh
Read 4 tweets
Jul 15, 2018
Happy Sunday! We will be continuing our special #MusicSermon series on The Superfriends tonight with Timbaland. Doors of the church will open around 8. In the meantime, catch up on the latest church news with this week’s bulletin!…
Alight y'all, I'm getting organized and then well get started with tonight's #MusicSermon.
Ushers, you may begin seating. ⛪️
*Steps into pulpit*
*Adjusts mic*
*Cleans glasses*
*Opens text*

Good evening, family. Sorry for the late start. For one, it's hard for me to settle into a sermon while it's still daylight. Second, I was hit with a massive bout of sleepiness out of the blue...
Read 50 tweets

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