Thread by @TurtonsOther

Like a prescription written on a poorly functioning and not very user friendly e-prescribing system, it’s #NHSthisweek !

This week, how the Dr/first name debate will probably rage on twitter

First off, Mr Hunt says we need to start calling Doctors by their first name rather than by their title.

Sorry I’ll do that again, in the spirit of it.

Jeremy will say we need to start calling Doctors by their first name rather than title.

At some point, the words, respect, empowerment, speak up, culture, death of the profession and “i can’t be expected to learn all the House officer names can I?” will be all over twitter.

The argument of “we’ve worked for our earned title, we may as well use it” we be met with “WELL YOU’RE JUST OBSESSED WITH-HIERARCHY ARENT YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE SEX-CASE!”

”I just want my juniors to be free to question me, in front of anyone, at any time ever, cos that’s what a pilot would do, and the only way they can possibly do that is if they call me Steve”

The same pilot who starts a flight by saying “Hello this is CAPTAIN Nigel Barker”

Later on, an embittered SHO who hated their ortho placement will say “I had to call my boss Mr and that meant I couldn’t tell him about the rising post op white cell count, whereas if I could call him Rob he still probably would give a damn”

Cue a patient safety advocate who says we should scrap the whole doctor thing, but mainly cos it’s less letters to print on your self made theatre cap with your name on, saving literally 2 lives every 50 years

Meanwhile a retired matron will remind us that all doctors are nothing special and make some sweeping remark (a bit like this one) whilst remembering that everyone called her Matron

A lone staff nurse will quietly tweet that the bonus of calling people Doctor is we don’t have to bother learning actual names given that it feels like they rotate through medical admission every 44 seconds

Later, a group of consultants from the non-surgical specialities will clamour to claim that they let their juniors call them by first names, like a sixth form teacher who wear trainers and says “call me Mike” and hangs out in the smoking shelter with the A-level drama girls.

And then, a group of consultants from the surgical specialities will try to make a well meaning but poorly worded attempt at explaining respect to people “i can’t let a man assist a lap chole if he thinks he can call me Barry, what next, sleeping in my spare room with my wife?”

At some point a picture of Richard Branson holding a “#hellomynameis Richard” sign will turn up and we’ll all just feel a bit more dead inside.

In the midst of this is a 3rd year medical student who’s just upset that this means he won’t be able to get Dr on his Solo debit card whilst muttering something about “huge student debt” and “6 years at uni” whilst forgetting architects do the same.

And we’ll debate feelings, and titles and speaking up and empowerment and respect and hierarchy and come to literally no consensus and carry on, as some consultants will be called Julie and some will be Dr Turner

Elsewhere, Jezza (lets get real informal for the good of the health service) reckons prescriptions errors are bad (they are) and that e prescribing will solve it all (it won’t)

E prescribing is great. Except when there isn’t a computer because the only one not in use is the ward clerks and you know better than to sit on Janet’s chair, even if it is just for a paracetamol

Then there’s the WiFi going down, or the network collapsing because the network is shared with the publics free WiFi and watching Netflix in DayCase ward was more important than a functioning IT infrastructure

Some of us all hark for the days of paper. A pharmacist will then appear to tell me I’m worse than Stalin for even suggesting it.

Look Jen, MOVICOL doesn’t even appear in your pre-populated prescription system, so what do I have to do to get these people to poo, eh!

It also nearly forgets that handwriting means I have to put some thought into what I’m doing rather than just assuming the pre-populated prescription is correct and click furiously before the ward clerk gets back from the loo

Has anyone ever considered making a computer drug chart programme that actually looks like a paper drug chart, where you fill in all the boxes, rather than the endless systems that make DOS like really hi-tech?

I MEAN WHAT EVEN IS MEDITECH?!

So in short, prescription errors are bad, but for gods sake can someone make a prescribing programme that works?!

And that’s the #NHSthisweek!

@threadreaderapp : Unroll thread please