There is a reason that so many Americans felt that something was wrong on #BlackTuesday.
A reason for that sense that we had not, or at least could not have, made that decision.
Because,
What happened was UnAmerican.
What happened was impossible.
What happened was wrong.
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There was nothing in any of the numbers that indicated it would or could happen.
Nothing.
In those last days Clinton's crowds were increasingly larger and more energetic.
The Obama's stood and asked a receptive, grateful America to place their faith in her.
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Black folks stood up to the bullying efforts of their own State and Local governments and refused to be turned away. They endured hours when it took whites in neighboring districts minutes.
They stayed in line.
Black women sang,
"And I shall not be moved..."
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In my town, in Chicago, we were sure.
So very sure.
A woman passed me as she left her voting station. I was wearing my Clinton gear & working to make sure that everyone voted.
I had just left a disturbing conversation with a man who was, like me, concerned about Russia.
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She saw something on my face.
"Darling don't worry it's going to be a laaaannnddslide..."
Her arms were dancing in the air and she was spinning in circles with a huge smile.
She was so sure that I became sure.
Of course it was going to be a landslide.
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And the anecdotal evidence was substantial. So few people I know actually supported him. Even amount those I assumed might. There were plenty of them who did, too many, but not enough and certainly not more.
And I know a lot of people.
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She was so far ahead in early voting in places like Florida that some commentators were saying they were ready to call it got Clinton in advance because it was really statistically impossible for Trump to catch up on election day, let alone surpass her, and yet somehow...
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"Somehow..."
When it dawned on America was going to happen (whether we voted that way or not... hint: we did not) there was a pervading sense of dread that gave way to an equally powerful sense of mourning.
In places where boys don't cry, grown men wept for their daughters.
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For those of us in one or another of our country's minority populations there was a palpable sense if fear and dread.
Who had done this.
To us...
Who had hated us so badly for our brown skin, or who we loved, or how we prayed?
Who had hated the idea of America so badly?
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And who cared so little for the children? So little for their future? And especially our daughters...
What would we tell our daughters?
The fear, the anxiety, the dread, and the anger were all there and, in the end, essential and right.
We knew.
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You could almost feel the Earth wretch as @HillaryClinton did what she always does in her darkest moments. Following the old advice of her friend & mentor, the late Maya Angelou, she ROSE.
That she had to concede to that man in a contest she had actually won felt diabolical.
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And then Americans did something we rarely do, and had not done in quite awhile.
We went to the streets.
The numbers were staggering. The anger undeniable.
Most Americans seemed genuinely shocked and even unwilling to accept that it was real.
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But as the Klu Klux Klan began to emerge from the shadows and parade openly in the daylight the realness of it burned.
Night after night we went to the streets.
And the world joined us.
Enormous amounts of people globally marched in solidarity and some fear.
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But this reaction, this open, angry rejection? This too is its own kind of evidence.
When you added it all together it was clear that even if we did not yet know how or who or even why, that we knew it was wrong.
Something was amiss.
Someone.
Somehow.
Somewhere.
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When @realDonaldTrump is finally yanked from office for the crimes he has committed against us as individuals and as a nation I hope we march again.
But this time I hope we will march in hope and in forgiveness and gratitude.
We will, it seems, survive this, if only just.
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And when we march I hope we realize that we can, at last, forgive ourselves for not having campaigned a little harder, for not phone banking a little more, and we can forgive others too.
Because we will know then that we actually had not done that bad thing.
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We will know that we actually are better than that.
That some part of those old fictions about America wete actually correct.
May we never lose sight again of what liberty brings.
Nor of what it felt the day we let fascism come to town.
For a few days when I'd sleep I was either having nightmares about #Kavanaugh or, and this was a first, having nightmares about having nightmares about #Kavanaugh.
My poor puppies didn't know what the hell was going on...
"IT'S A NEW DAY. "
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When people invoke platitudes like this it is usually done in order to being hope, to assert the positive aspects of what's ahead.
Not today.
There is nothing positive about this. We played the Super Bowl and we lost, but there is no rematch.
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Worse, one of the players for the other team is suddenly a fucking umpire and wants to review the tapes of all previous games and change some of the calls made by other, better umpires from games we had already won in the past.
I won't be lectured about majorities or electoral politics on the day #BrettKavanaugh was confirmed to #SCOTUS with the help of a goddamned Democrat.
I don't care where he's from or the demographics of his state. I don't care about any of that bullshit.
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He deserves some fire under his feet on the day he voted FOR a fucking lying racist rapist who is probably going to overturn ROE v. WADE and a host of other important pieces of legislation.
He could have called in sick.
He could have abstained.
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He could have stood on the Senate floor and said "I am casting this vote because my constituents have asked me to and I am their representative, but I personally strongly oppose this nominee, and support Professor Ford.
Let it be our promise to every future life that is destroyed, changed, or affected by a Justice #Kavanaugh that we will make it a priority to see Sasse, Manchin, and Collins suffer for their vote today.
They must lose their Senate seats, and be reminded everyday why.
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If we can't manage to focus long enough to carry through on our threats to our elected leaders who betray us then there will never be a reason to fear us. There will never be a reason to reconsider a decision or vote.
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And maybe no mistake, @SenatorCollins must be made an example of, if only because so much focus was placed on her and her decision making process.
But also because of that poisonous victim blaming/ shaming speech she delivered yesterday.
There is no way to sugarcoat how bad things just got, and if there was, we shouldn't. This is a loss that will haunt this nation for decades.
The confirmation of #BrettKavanaugh has managed to confirm more than just a man, for many, its confirmed our worst fears.
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It has confirmed that the @GOP is the most corrupt ruling party at the federal level in our nation's history. That they will do anything and everything to protect itself, including putting the survival of our Republic itself at risk.
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Its confirmed that the real decisions are made before the questions are even formally presented, and that they really do not care what our opinions of those decisions will be.
And it has also confirmed that Donald Trump has a lot more power than we imagined.
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If you want to live in a nation that is "led" by a man who would mock someone who was the victim of a violent sexual assault then we are very different people.
Trump's behavior today was that of a playground bully. They were the words that a bully utters and then laughs.
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The bully imagines, and may even hear, the world laughing with him, but the chuckles are only from his hangers-on and those hoping to impress the bully.
The rest of the world only turns its head to look away. They hope that someone, anyone, will intervene.
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They almost always get away with it, though, bullies.
And Trump will likely get away with this, like always.
#ChristineBlaseyFord passed a lie detector test on the day of her grandmother's funeral. No one non-partisan or credible has questioned her credibility.
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As the nation braces itself for the @GOP's latest betrayal in the runup to the #BrettKavanaugh confirmation vote, it is becoming clearer that even those we once believed retained some recognizably moral standards, simply don't.