Patrice K. Connors Profile picture
Mar 27, 2018 19 tweets 15 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
NEXT UP we have #8 seeded Thalassocnus catans vs. #1 seeded Doedicurus clavicaudatus! #2018MMM
In round 1, Thalassocnus #MarineSloth munched on some sea grasses while Cynognathus #DinoDog got washed away with the #RIP tide #TeamMarineSloth… #2018MMM
And Doedicurus #TankMammal barely noticed the Jugulator hop-on and then hop-off its mighty armor that is characteristic of glyptodons… #EasyWin #ReadyToRumble #2018MMM
Quick recap of tonight's combatants: #MarineSloth from the mammalian order Pilosa (today's sloths) was "medium to gigantic in size " (de Muizon & McDonald 1995…) and roamed Earth during the Pliocene (5.3 - 2.6 MYA) #2018MMM
#TankMammal from the mammalian order Cingulata (today's armadillos) weighed in at 2300kg, measured 1.5M tall, and roamed Earth during the Pleistocene (2.6 MY - 12,000 YA) #KnownYourCenes #2018MMM
Fossils of both ANTECESSORS have been found in present-day South America, which is also tonight's battle location #OhSnap #2018MMM
#MarineSloth is contently full after foraging for sea grass, and has come back to shore for resting & digesting #2018MMM
#TankMammal, also an herbivore, enters the scene looking for some food #2018MMM
#TankMammal catches sight of #MarineSloth and becomes threatened! Thalassocnus is similar in size to Smilodon (A.K.A. saber-toothed cat! Photo credit Ryan Somma…), a common predator of glyptodonts during the late Pliestocene #2018MMM
While there is some debate regarding the use of #TankMammal's tail in self defense (Alexander et al. 1999 estimated that Doedicurus did not have the muscle or energy to use it as a weapon…)... #HoldMyBeverage #2018MMM
... other researchers applied the biomechanics of hitting a home run with a baseball bat to the spiky ends of glyptodont tails and found that large #TankMammals could pack a punch! (Blanco et al.…) #2018MMM
#TankMammal charges at #MarineSloth! Today, nine-banded armadillos are known to show aggressive behaviors such as chasing after and even fighting each other (McDonough 1994…) #2018MMM
#MarineSloth is unsure how (and a bit slow) to respond to the attack #2018MMM
But did you know that today's three-toed sloths have ALSO been observed striking each other while vocalizing?!?! (Greene 1989…) #2018MMM
#MarineSloth is feeling brave and raises one large, clawed appendage. This is a slow process, since #Marine Sloth has heavy, dense bones to lower the costs of buoyancy while foraging on the seafloor (Muizon et al 2003…) #2018MMM
#MarineSloth is too slow and #TankMammal rams its mighty body armor into the exposed hind limbs of Thalassocnus, knocking the giant sloth down #2018MMM
#TankMammal feels a dull soreness in its bones after the impact, but #MarineSloth does not stand back up #2018MMM
FYI, here's a shot from the abstract that's worth a read...

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More from @PKurnath

Mar 29, 2018
Next up from the Great Adaptations division, #1 seed Pygmy Hippo vs #4 seed Tasmanian Devil! #2018MMM
This battle brought to you by @c_n_anderson, I'm just sharing the story tonight! #2018MM
The pygmy hippo is herbivorous, feeding on fruits, grasses and ferns - it's large canines are used for aggresive displays, not hunting #2018MMM…
Read 20 tweets
Mar 23, 2018
FIRST UP: #1 seed Pygmy Hippo (Choeropsis liberiensis) vs. #9 seed Maned Rat (Lophiomys imhausi)!! #2018MMM
In round 1, the pygmy hippo inadvently stabbed a wandering star-nosed mole with its tusk in a swamp #oops #mybad #2018MMM
While the maned rat dared the platypus to fight over a burrow #ComeAtMeBro but the monotreme, lacking his venom, wisely passed on the encounter #2018MMM
Read 18 tweets
Mar 20, 2018
NEXT UP: 5th seeded Moscow Dog vs. 12th seeded Sewer Rat!! #2018MMM
Our top seed in this battle is the Moscow Dog (Canis familiaris), domesticated strays that have roamed the Russian city's streets for decades… (photo from Sputnik news, credit Mikhail Fomichev) #2018MMM
News stories have highlighted this canine's ability to live side-by-side Moscovites coercing handouts & some learning to ride the subway (the Conservation,…; the New Yorker,…; the Financial Times,…) #2018MMM
Read 22 tweets
Mar 15, 2018
NEXT UP: #4 Tasmanian Devil vs. #13 Ghost Bast #2018MMM
The ghost bat (Macroderma gigas) gets its name from the Greek "macros"=large and "derma"=skin #2018MMM
Hopefully you didn't confuse our competitor with the south american bats of a similar name (genus Diclidurus, way more fuzzy) #2018MMM
Read 15 tweets

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