Thread by @tanishafazal

I received an email from @texasinafrica about a month ago asking me to give a talk at the Duckies at #ISA2018. Some folks (I'm looking at you, @smsaideman @mcopelov @C_Wolbrecht @whinecough) have asked that I post it.

So here it is, for a limited time only.

Ode to #IRTwitter

I unlock my door, put up some hot water
Turn on the computer, sign a form for my daughter

The computer is loaded, but the tea has turned bitter
Because all of this time I’ve been checking my Twitter

North Korea, nukes, and Bridging the Gap
Trade wars, international law and - look – a cool map!

Also, the daily dose of IR gender discrimination
I retweet, respond – and, voila, notifications

I like that you “like”; I’m glad you approve this
But may I suggest you put your money where your mouth is?

Exempli grata –

Be like @JaneLSumner, who wrote this great tool
To gender-balance syllabi – to use at your school!

Or mimic @JeffDColgan, my buddy from Brown
Whose IR list brings the male-female ratio down.

Take a page from @dhnexon, and the ISQ crew
Cite more women: you’ll get an extra word or two

Don’t forget @sbmitche – she’s got lots of pull
Note to self: ask her for advice when going up for full

Back to my feed, time to learn today’s news
Mueller’s probing again, seem’s he’s found some new clues

The White House exodus continues, there goes another staffer
Foggy Bottom is silent, and so is McMaster.

Trump’s tweets give me whiplash: this is getting quite heavy
Who is friend? Who is foe? And *what* is “covfefe”?

My nuclear friends will surely take pity
Except that their tweets are alphabet city

NPR, SS-X, NPT, BMD
ALBM, MMRCA, ICCM, MRV

And, now we’re talking football. Time to move on.
I’m truly indifferent if the Patriots’ won.

The IHL lawyers might give me what I want
Except it’s all in French: pas maintenant

The doctors are in – what’s new in hemostatics?
Ugh - this article makes me feel symptomatic

All of a sudden my computer screen is fueled
By the news that Twitter is changing the rules

140 to 280 and a new way to thread
I can’t figure this out. Time to do some research instead.

I sit in my chair, and open my book
I’m tempted, but no, I won’t take a look.

Hours later, it’s lunchtime – time for Twitter, part 2
But first I read an article that’s long overdue

I post with some comments. Instantaneous response!
Someone calls out a typo. I feign nonchalance.

I’m amazed by the folks who tweet all day long
Does it correlate with proximity to Saskatchewan?

Yo, @smsaideman, and @StephanieCarvin, too
In Canada is tweeting just what you do?

Also @charlie_simpson and @profmusgrave
If you stopped, just think of the time *I* could save.

Are you truly on all day? Or is it all just a ruse?
I’ll never understand how to quickly digest all this news

I like hearing your thoughts, and I enjoy our communications
But, to be honest, I prefer outlets with more thoughtful conversation.

And so it’s back to the books, the writing, the pondering
Isn’t it great that our vocation allows such intellectual wandering?

It’s the end of the day. I’ll just check one more time.
US foreign policy has, once again, changed on a dime.

I read about @SeverineAR’s newest ethnography
And check out this book on ocean cartography!

I’ve been tagged in a post to promote a blog piece
Which I do, and note my impending book release
[cornellpress.cornell.edu/book/?GCOI=801…]

I see a new entry for #ToddlerinChief
OMFG. Are you kidding? Oy. And, good grief.

A salve is needed: Thoughts of Dog.
I always smile at this canine monologue.

I’m now on my way home, and I can’t help but wonder
If I tweeted all day, how many times would I blunder?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that, for me, less is more.
I try to only put it out there if I’m really pretty sure.

I cross over my threshold. Time for the second shift.
Dinner, and homework and, oh great, my middle-schooler’s miffed.

The kids are now abed, and there’s more work to do.
Hey, guess what – turns out *I’m* Reviewer 2.

I yawn into bed, at last, for I’m beat.
I reach for my iPad for one final peek.

Can I claim that it’s work? No, my husband will scoff.
And I know that he’s right. Time to turn Twitter off.