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Apr 17, 2018 14 tweets 6 min read Read on X
Dear gentlemen,

What are the things that made you feel like a man, while you were younger and don't matter at all now?

*Short thread on what mine were*

RT. #MasculinityKE
1. A beard. My dad has a beard he would shave daily and so that was an ultimate dream. I would practice using his shaver from when I was around 7 😂 I struggled growing a beard and it finally bloomed at 23 😂
My first beard hair was at 12. I went to tell my mom😂

#MasculinityKE
2. A muscular body. I was the short and yellow kid and so I always dreamed of my transformation where I would get tall+muscular. I grew taller but no muscles. I tried the gym and wasted money I should have spent on food😂 It's the muscles on the inside that matter
#MasculinityKE
3. Having a deep voice. That was something I hoped to achieve 😁😂
My voice broke at some point but not enough to get me where I wanted. I was in the choir and my range was between soprano at some point and tenor😂 No luck there😁

#MasculinityKE
4. Alcohol. Blame my dad and my uncles. They always looked so cool drinking and laughing and having fun as they roasted meat. These men would drink a crate of beer each 😂 I aspired to reach their levels of greatness 😂
#MasculinityKE
5. The strength to fight. Being chubby didn't help. I could fight really well on, the inside. Maybe that's why Twitter works for me 😂 I can remember three fights I got in 😁 Only one was sort of about a girl 😂
#MasculinityKE
6. Having a car. Dad was a crazy and fun driver and all his friends had cars and sometimes they would have foolish races😂
I wanted to put my elbow out of the window as I drove with one hand. It was the dream😂 Men are still taking loans for this dream
#MasculinityKE
7. Cigarettes. Cigarette ads were really cool and some did work to target youth and teens, intentionally. Blowing the smoke out of your mouth without a care in the world was my dream and again- older men made it look so cool

#MasculinityKE
8. Money. Dad was the go- to for fees and everything. He was the money man. A man meant money and money meant a man. This may explain our amalgamation of masculinity and money. Money is still a really big thing though.
#MasculinityKE
9. Using deodorant and after shave. My mom wouldn't let us use any deodorant as young kids because she felt it wasn't good for our skin but dad used to use Brut deo. I would sneak it and feel like I was grown up

#MasculinityKE
10. Wearing a suit. I'd long for the day I'd be able to dress up in a suit and tie and use cufflinks and a tie clip. I grew up and hate them all and wear formal clothes for funerals and khaki pants for weddings. Unless you pay me well enough, then we can negotiate

#MasculinityKE
Share your little things you felt that being a man was all about, as silly as they might have been 😂

#MasculinityKE
I'm sure you have stories here😅
what were yours?

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More from @MarigaThoithi

Aug 14, 2018
Many men are raising kids who aren't theirs. Statistically, women aren't too far behind on the cheating competition and they're closing the gap rapidly. DNA testing has become cheaper. Do it. Everyone thinks that they're the exception. You're probably not

#MasculinityKE
Women are punished more by society for cheating and thus they've evolved to hiding it much better because of the cost of being caught. No one believes that their girl is cheating on them yet they know that women cheat, too.

#MasculinityKE
We're taught to believe in the purity/innocence of women and that's also reflective in our search for the "good girls"

That means that you don't even look too hard for signs of cheating of a man because "my girl wouldn't cheat on me

#MasculinityKE
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Jun 11, 2018
Nairobi living- A friend's friend( a babe) invites me for a drink a few weeks back and later tell me she'll be bringing friends. I go to meet her and get there before her and order my beers and chill

(short thread)
They come a bit later and it's her and two other babes and they start whispering among themselves, call the waiter and make their order. The waiter goes round kidogo then comes back to me and whispers in my ear and asks me whether I'll cover their bills because they said I would
Babes had ordered a bottle of JD and a few other things and had decided that I was going to pay and didn't tell me. I laughed and told them to get the drinks themselves since I was only drinking beer. Lol they huddled and whispered to each other again and came up with
Read 71 tweets
May 27, 2018
An article and thread by @dnahinga on affordable housing has led me down a rabbit hole imagining a day when I'll be able to buy a house in Kenya without looting, massive loans, killing, mismanagement or doing all four through becoming president.

*THREAD*
Here's the article that inspired the thought. It left me with more questions than answers but that's why I liked it - it leaves us with a lot of thinking to do.

ub.co.ke/index.php/2018…
So what is affordable housing? What does affordable housing mean to you based on your current economic (mis) fortune depending on which side your tender is buttered?
Read 30 tweets
Apr 2, 2018
We need to start talking about #RapeCulture as Kenyan men but I don't even know where to start. When you're worried about your sister staying out at a party late or going to a guy's place alone, you've already shown you understand it without saying it.

#MasculinityKE
Back in uni, more girls than I can imagine were raped. Some didn't call it rape but it was rape. The local drinking joint, "fracas" was where people would go get girls drunk and then take them back to their place when they were too drunk to walk
Rape was such a huge problem that if Watchmen caught you walking with a girl who looked too drunk at night, they would automatically assume you were going to rape her and they would take you to their "cell" or beat you up on the road.
Read 40 tweets
Mar 14, 2018
A conversation with a friend got me thinking about the potential gendered effect on savings and investments that our current dating structure creates.

*SHORT THREAD*
Very few couples have real conversations about finances when they're dating even when it gets serious. We wait for a ring before really talking about money. We're guarded about what we earn and what we spend.
It sounds good to keep your financial details to yourselves and it feels like you're protecting yourself but in many times you're just screwing yourself over over a longer period.
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