Thread by @marnanel

There's no contradiction.

When I was a kid I knew the difference between blackberries and any other berry you might find in the hedges.

But my partner was told "berries in the hedges can poison you". And despite the exceptions like blackberries, that's true as a general rule.

Similarly, "birds fly" is a general rule, despite the existence of ostriches and penguins.

You can expect to find exceptions to almost any real-life example of a general rule. But that doesn't mean "birds fly" is a lie: given a random bird, it's a safe bet that it flies.

Likewise, men as a whole can exhibit particular behaviour in order to be classified as men. (Even if you think a man is someone with a penis, presumably you can tell who is a man without checking their pants.)

Any statement about that behaviour will implicitly have exceptions.

You might think, of course, that a statement like "men can't keep their hands to themselves" isn't true, even as a generalisation: you're a good man, who respects bodily autonomy, and it's not your experience that men behave that way.

But you wouldn't experience it, would you?

Generally speaking, no man molests a woman in front of a crowd. They wait until there are no witnesses.

So your estimation of the behaviour of your fellow men is likely to be less accurate than hers.

And anyway, sentences like "men molest women" is a statement of a very real problem. It's not meant as a personal insult. Women already *know* there are men out there who don't molest women.

And when you treat it as an insult, and object to it as if it was an insult, you're effectively objecting to someone complaining about the prevelance of sexual assault.

As I mentioned, I believe you when you say "#notallmen"; presumably, then, it's contrary to your principles to ask people not to talk about the problem.

(End thread.)

unroll please