This story was shared with me by an individual known as X.

What follows is a minimally edited interview.

Please read this story if you can.

Me: The first question is a brief description of you/your disablity?

X: My name is X. I'm white, 32 years old. I have spastic diplegia cerebral palsy, which manifests as a permanent limp & irregular gait. I use a rollator when I'm outside my house cont..

X: I also have moderate chronic depression. My pronoun are she/her

M: Are you in a long term relationship?

X: Yes, 12 years, with an able, straight man.

M: The next thing I would like to ask is how long have you both wanted to get married/are you engaged?

X: We are not engaged, although five years ago I tried to contact state services like Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid to do research to see cont...

X: if my services would drop if we got married We were planning marriage if it wouldn't put us in a worse health care/financial situation.

Social Security wouldn't really answer my questions. I remember reading that Medicare/Medicaid WOULD drop me cont..

X: expecting my husband's insurance to be able to cover my care. No job he's ever had responded positively to covering the medical care I need so we haven't married.

M: That actually answers my next question which was what services would you be denied if you were to get married?

X: There's probably a whole separate story about how Medicaid reacted when I got pregnant in December, but that's outside the scope cont...

X: Okay so...Social Security, upon further research, probably wouldn't have changed due to my status as an Adult Disabled Child. But Texas Medicaid/Medicare WOULD have dropped me.

M: How did Medicade react it might not be outside of the scope these things are usually connected.

X: Medicaid said I could be on the disability coverage program or the pregnancy coverage program cont...

X: There was nothing providing for both, no one's allowed on two programs due to anti-fraud laws.
Normally, Medicaid plays for 20% of covered medical expenses, While Medicare plays for the other 80% cont...

X: I eventually decided to stay on the disability program, and foot the 20% of pregnancy related costs for myself with the help of my parents.

But, if my parents weren't middle class? Who knows.

(I had a miscarriage, so that ended up not playing out.)

M: Wow I can't even begin to imagine the stress that must have caused you and your partner

X: Also, the pregnancy was planned. We were trying to be responsible and do everything by the book.Thank you, it was a nightmare. Cont...

X: I had to be on the phone for ten hours over two days working all the billing and insurance BS out because everything in Texas is de-centralized and handed out to sub-contractor.

M: So how would you have dealt with the child who's name would have been on the birth certificate?

X: They would have taken my partner's name and be covered on their insurance Cont...

X: Even if we had to marry and then divorce to ensure it

Although my partner hoped that claiming the child would be enough, Covering a baby is not as much as covering a wife sigularly, he works for the state government.

M: are you living together?

X: Yes.

M: What are some of the things you have had to do to avoid been caught living together?

X: not much. We have to claim common law in Texas. It used to be the government could claim for you if you were found to be living together, but Texas stopped doing that because gay people I think, cont....

X: So my partner and I have been living together for eight years and no one's forced us to claim anything.

Our bank accounts are still separate though, if that does anything.

Our families see us as legitimate so there's no issue there.

M: In terms of next of kin, hospitals and stuff were would you stand legally? If the worst happened and you fell out with each others family

X: I'm not certain.

M: Does that worry you?

X: Being Texas, I don't think he's technically next of kin.

I've thought about it a little bit. I have had surgery about five times and no one's questioned his right to visit or have info,but now that you ask, I wonder if my mother helped.

X: Oh! I think when my mom got into a wreck last December she put my partner down as her son-in-law so he could take the discharge paperwork.

nothing's happened legally on our end about that. So I guess you could say the state's not forcing the question if we dont.

M: how has not being able to get married affected yours and your partners relationship?

X: The biggest problem right now is that my partner signed a moral turpitude clause for his employment cont....

X: If someone wanted him fired, they could legally complain that he's living with a woman/having a child out of wedlock and thus is unfit to teach.

But as for our relationship, He's become indifferent to the very concept of marriage.

X: He wants it because I do. I want it because I want the relationship acknowledged. I might even need it one day for my child's benefit.

M: What is the one thing out of all of this that you would want to abled folk who are perhaps unaware of the situation what would you want them to take away from all this?

X: I want the situation with Medicaid making me choose between being disabled and being pregnant fixed. No one I've told had any idea it worked that way cont...

X: I don't think the people who set the system up are malicious, but we need to realize that young disabled people exist and thus young disabled mothers exist. And having to choose between my health, my baby's health, and my finances SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.

M: No it shouldn't having to not only choose between that but also between marriage and acknowledgement of your relationship or life saving services.

X: Exactly.

M: I am really really in awe of how strong you are to have to make those choices.

You should be amazingly proud of yourself

X: Thank you. I appreciate it.


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More from @roo_b_boy

Jul 4, 2018
So I've seen a lot of trans femme/women voices being boosted like fuck right now about the scarjo situation.

Folk have spoken about how this is the same issue that trans femme/women face.

But this is only partly true.
There is a part of this whole situation that doesn't happen as much any more to trans femme/women's stories (this exceptions to this tend to be TWOC who's stories are also still routinely erased or revised to center cis white folk)
It is the fact that everyone involved in production is calling Gill (scarjo's character) a woman.

The are actively erasing his identity. They are revising his story and erasing him completely.
Read 18 tweets
May 4, 2018
Here is another story shared with me by an individual known as Y

What follows is a minimally edited interview

Please read this if you can.

Me:If you'd like to start with a brief description of your disablity, your partner, how long you've been together that sort of thing?

Y: we are high school sweethearts so like decades long? Cont...

Y: I went to his prom, we have photos, he was there when I first got sick, and his instinct was not to flee we went to college together, except his freshman year.

M:So were you diagnosed long into the relationship?

Read 23 tweets
May 3, 2018
#letusmarry I have another story shared with me by a person known as Z for anonymity sake.

Z prepared a statement so I will share their words in screen shot with a transcript to follow.

#spoonie #disabled
Hey! 😊 So, my partner and I have been together for 7 years. He’s at a job right now where he has insurance, but it’s a very unstable industry; he could be let go at any time, with no notice. #letusmarry
His insurance is crap; my medical costs over the next few years could potentially bankrupt us both if we got married. He makes decent money now, but not enough to financially support two people—one of whom is very sick—especially if he loses this job.
Read 10 tweets
Apr 29, 2018
I have a friend I've been talking to about #letusmarry who will remain anonymous for reasons that are apparent.

They are in a polyam living situation. They are disabled.

I'd like to share their words.

Transcript of image to follow.
1) I feel like I may have blathered about this before, but it frustrates me every time I have to recertify for benefits that the only legal category for my relationship is their tenant who rents a room. Even though this does allow for not taking their income cont..
& resources into consideration for my benefits.
Read 6 tweets
Apr 29, 2018
I've been engaged now for about 6 months and it is honestly heartbreaking to know that until things change I won't be able to get married.

My mom died before she was able to get married to her partner of 14 years.

The terrible thing is my mom wanted so desperately to marry.

They where engaged for over a decade. A decade of waiting and hoping.

Think about that

Over a decade of having to lie about your partner to the government.

Over a decade of living in fear of being caught and either face extortionate fines or prison.

Over a decade of having to have your children to lie.

Read 22 tweets
Mar 21, 2018
So this is long and I am going to say right now I was an asshole.

So I was dumped by my then bf. He was older & dumped me for a more age appropriate girl which good for him. I was not happy but tried to stay friends & made friends with new gf.

She found out I was bisexual 1/?
And expressed a curiosity.

I saw my chance to hurt him & we fucked, Also in a small town women who liked women were few & far between, I was a teen, rampant hormones & hurt feelings do not make comfortable bed fellows.

It happened a few times.

Cut to few weeks later all 3 of us where meant to be going to a local free music festival together & meet other friends.

Im waiting near the entrance & they're late. Our friends are already inside I'm about to text them, when I'm approached by a girl I havent seen in a while3/?
Read 12 tweets

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