Here is another story shared with me by an individual known as Y

What follows is a minimally edited interview

Please read this if you can.

Me:If you'd like to start with a brief description of your disablity, your partner, how long you've been together that sort of thing?

Y: we are high school sweethearts so like decades long? Cont...

Y: I went to his prom, we have photos, he was there when I first got sick, and his instinct was not to flee we went to college together, except his freshman year.

M:So were you diagnosed long into the relationship?

Y: I got Hep A a few months after we starting going out officially and he came to the hospital every night.

When I got home, he saw me every single day, then in college when my body fell apart he didn't know what the hell to do cont...

I coudn't drink water w/o vomiting and being in pain he took me to the ER thrice in one week.
There was one night he had to go to class, so he made sure like the entire first floor/ ER staff like checked in on me he's amazing cont...

Y: People who have wanted to dance at our weddng have passed I can't legally live with him he can't afford to support me

M: How long have you both been wanting to get married Or move in?

Y: We were in it to win it from day one, we got engaged like a year or two later so really we've grown up together he's been with me sick for longer than this has been 24/7.

M: Do you live together even though you could get caught. No need for details a yes or no will do to get the point across

Y: Yes I hate living like this I wish we could get married the cost of living in my city is very high and he cannot support me, cont...

Y: he could not afford to pay for my heath care, food or rent.

M: It's ok you don't have to justify yourself to me I understand.

Y: I'm just saying this to get the point across

M: I understand the need to reassure you're not one of the "bad" people frauding the government.

Y: I mean I feel like I am but also that the system is wrong, so I don't like feeling like a criminal because I can't work & no one else can support me.

M: I'd like you to tell me some of the things not being able to get married has affected?

Y: If anything happens to me or him we legally have no rights to visit in hospital cont...

Y: If any of our parents wanted to be horrible and ban us from seeing each other in the hospital, they could.

If he suddenly passes, I will not be eligible for his social security as I would if we had been married for over ten years cont...

Y: I can't trust people to tell them my situation all the time.

Medicaid has a program now where a relative or someone in your family can be a home heath aide for you and they will pay them cont...

Y: that would be awesome I could honestly use some extra help some days showering and dressing.

I buy my own food, but he cooks it but like I said I feel like a criminal

M: What are some of the things you've had to do to avoid being caught?

Y: Nothing so far and I pray it stays that way but If the family member at my address moves what wil happen to me?

M: So you have a family member living with you just so I can get this straight?

Y: I legally on paper live with a parent I get my mail there, I illegally live with my partner, same area very close by.

M: So a lot of how your pulling this off is contingent on your parents?

Y: Yes, this parent wants to join a retirement community whenever they are able to retire I could use my other parents address but they are moving in June and don't know where yet so we would have to move near them.

M: How has it affected yours and your partners relationship?

Y: We both wanted to get married, he's never been to cool with the thought of a wedding, but he always assumed we would have one cont...

Y: it just sucks not to be able to call him my husband even though he is in my eyes.

We can't tell people what's up with our situation because we don't know who to trust cont....

Y: Something that has been said to me so many times, just because I can't get married does not mean I am not in a relationship that is that serious don't ever say that to disabled people it's really shitty.

M:If there was one thing you would want ableds to understand from all of this what is it?

Y: One thing I want abled people to know we do not have marriage equality when we need to choose between the help we need to live and the people we may love most in the world.

Y: Abled people have always tried to control us, our romances, our marriages, our sex lives.

Let's end that shit, let us get married without losing the help we need to not die. Why should we have to choose, I would say to them.


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More from @roo_b_boy

Jul 4, 2018
So I've seen a lot of trans femme/women voices being boosted like fuck right now about the scarjo situation.

Folk have spoken about how this is the same issue that trans femme/women face.

But this is only partly true.
There is a part of this whole situation that doesn't happen as much any more to trans femme/women's stories (this exceptions to this tend to be TWOC who's stories are also still routinely erased or revised to center cis white folk)
It is the fact that everyone involved in production is calling Gill (scarjo's character) a woman.

The are actively erasing his identity. They are revising his story and erasing him completely.
Read 18 tweets
May 3, 2018
This story was shared with me by an individual known as X.

What follows is a minimally edited interview.

Please read this story if you can.

Me: The first question is a brief description of you/your disablity?

X: My name is X. I'm white, 32 years old. I have spastic diplegia cerebral palsy, which manifests as a permanent limp & irregular gait. I use a rollator when I'm outside my house cont..

X: I also have moderate chronic depression. My pronoun are she/her

M: Are you in a long term relationship?

X: Yes, 12 years, with an able, straight man.

Read 30 tweets
May 3, 2018
#letusmarry I have another story shared with me by a person known as Z for anonymity sake.

Z prepared a statement so I will share their words in screen shot with a transcript to follow.

#spoonie #disabled
Hey! 😊 So, my partner and I have been together for 7 years. He’s at a job right now where he has insurance, but it’s a very unstable industry; he could be let go at any time, with no notice. #letusmarry
His insurance is crap; my medical costs over the next few years could potentially bankrupt us both if we got married. He makes decent money now, but not enough to financially support two people—one of whom is very sick—especially if he loses this job.
Read 10 tweets
Apr 29, 2018
I have a friend I've been talking to about #letusmarry who will remain anonymous for reasons that are apparent.

They are in a polyam living situation. They are disabled.

I'd like to share their words.

Transcript of image to follow.
1) I feel like I may have blathered about this before, but it frustrates me every time I have to recertify for benefits that the only legal category for my relationship is their tenant who rents a room. Even though this does allow for not taking their income cont..
& resources into consideration for my benefits.
Read 6 tweets
Apr 29, 2018
I've been engaged now for about 6 months and it is honestly heartbreaking to know that until things change I won't be able to get married.

My mom died before she was able to get married to her partner of 14 years.

The terrible thing is my mom wanted so desperately to marry.

They where engaged for over a decade. A decade of waiting and hoping.

Think about that

Over a decade of having to lie about your partner to the government.

Over a decade of living in fear of being caught and either face extortionate fines or prison.

Over a decade of having to have your children to lie.

Read 22 tweets
Mar 21, 2018
So this is long and I am going to say right now I was an asshole.

So I was dumped by my then bf. He was older & dumped me for a more age appropriate girl which good for him. I was not happy but tried to stay friends & made friends with new gf.

She found out I was bisexual 1/?
And expressed a curiosity.

I saw my chance to hurt him & we fucked, Also in a small town women who liked women were few & far between, I was a teen, rampant hormones & hurt feelings do not make comfortable bed fellows.

It happened a few times.

Cut to few weeks later all 3 of us where meant to be going to a local free music festival together & meet other friends.

Im waiting near the entrance & they're late. Our friends are already inside I'm about to text them, when I'm approached by a girl I havent seen in a while3/?
Read 12 tweets

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