Kathy Griffin Profile picture
May 12, 2018 19 tweets 7 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
A) It's story time....let's talk about my encounter at the White House Correspondents Dinner with Mercedes & Matt Schlapp..DC's most spineless power couple. I thought I was done talking about the dinner but learning that @mercedesschlapp stands w/ Kelly Sadler, well...here we go
B) So I went to the #WHCD for the first time this year...I ran into a lot of friends and also ran into complicit and criminal Trump apologists, supporters, and administration officials. Now here's something you need to know about me..
C) I make fun of a lot of people in my act. Most of the time, it's harmless fun and the celebrities I make jokes about usually get it. When I run into people I make fun of in my act, things are normally cordial. But that's not the case with Trump people I make fun of in my act
D) I always consider encounters with Trump officials as a privilege. I'm fortunate enough to be invited to events where I may run into these criminal clowns..so I feel like its my responsibility to tell them exactly what I think of them.
E) Matt and Mercedes would have you believe they left in a big huff but they didn't...I saw them leave, they looked like they were headed to the ladies room. And it's not as if they led some walkout, they were by themselves
F) The fact of the matter is they were leaving early to get a head start on the free drinks at the open bar at the NBC/MSNBC party.
G) So later on that night, my boyfriend Randy and I were at the MSNBC/NBC party...it was raining so everyone was crammed into a tent..that's why so many juicy and controversial encounters were happening that evening.
H) So I ran into Tom Bossert who was just pushed out of the White House by Mustache Bolton...trust me, I tried to get the dirt out of him but it was like humping a rock...useless. washingtonpost.com/politics/white…
I) Then Mercedes and Matt come up to me...keep in mind I was surrounded by cameras when they did this..how convenient for them. Let me tell you something, I can promise you that the two of them will tell Trump and others they took me on. They're a bunch of suck ups.
J) First thing Mercedes says to me is "I thought the comedian (meaning @michelleisawolf) was crass and humorless."

I immediately thought to myself "You wanna go there? Game on, bitch."
K) Now here's something you need to know, @mschlapp, Mr. C Pac, the guy who was one of the few people willing to defend Trump the weekend of the Access Hollywood tape was silent the entire time...both times I ran into them. Not a word, he just stood back.
L) Standby for Matt to make some bullshit fake women's empowerment comment about how he's proud to let his smart wife speak...fuck off Matt...you just stood there like the spineless powder puff you are.
M) Matt just stood there gingerly holding his drink and sucking up some sort of clear alcohol (I don't drink) through a tiny straw like a gossipy little bitch listening in but not having the chutzpah to speak up cause he was faced with me in-person.
N) So as soon as Mercedes says that she thought Michelle was crass and humorless I said "how do you sleep at night?" And I went on to say "you are the typical white woman who held her nose to vote for Trump"...which in my mind is the worst of the worst.
O) I actually don't think Matt and Mercedes believe in and support Trump. They just know where the power is in a room and that's why they attached themselves to Trump. This anecdote from the Access Hollywood weekend proves it.
P) I don't accept rational Trump voters provide to me..but at least they actually believe what they say when they talk about Trump. Ma-cedes just sniff around for whatever brings them the most power. So they'll support an admin that is destroying the country for $ - fuck them.
Q) So there we were at deep state cocktails..and I go on to tell Mercedes that she's a horrible representation of women That's when Matt (remember he's been silent the whole time), does a slow turn like a figure skater and starts to walk away..like "gurl you are on your own."
R) Encounter one down....later on that night we run into them again and I just had to say something to her....I said "you're a horrible person.." and the only thing she could come back to me with was "you're vulgar!"

Uh yeah, I'm a comic, not a person in charge of the government
S) After Trump ends up wherever he ends up they'll find the next opportunity by selling their souls yet again...

I can sleep at night @mercedesschlapp - your support of a monster and your hypocrisy will stick with you for the rest of your life.

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More from @kathygriffin

Oct 9, 2018
A) This morning, Don Jr. retweeted this tweet which contains a video of a Pizzagate/QaNON guy screaming at me at my show in Philadelphia over the weekend. I am sick and tired of talking about this, but I have no choice because every time they do this it impacts my life/career.
B) I am a comic who posted a photo some people took issue with. That does not mean I should be subject to this kind of harassment. I now have to have security guards wand my fans as they're entering my shows...I'm not a head of state/pres candidate, I shouldn't have to do this
C) This kind of harassment is coordinated and then puts the subject through (in this case me) what I call the Trump wood chipper. The death threats will ramp up again, people in the business will be more hesitant to hire me, and Trump/QaNon people will continue to harass my mom.
Read 26 tweets
Oct 6, 2018
Absolutely! Feel free to send Brett/Bart all the merch you want.

Judge Brett Kavanaugh
E. Barrett Prettyman
U.S. Courthouse and
William B. Bryant Annex
333 Constitution Ave., NW Washington, DC 20001

Merch Link: bit.ly/AllKathyMerch

15% Off Code: FUCKTHEGOP
B) This was such a good idea! I just sent Brett or Bart Kavanaugh an Impeach Brett sticker pack and an Impeach Brett mug.
C) OMG I cant believe you guys are doing this. 😂😂😂
Read 5 tweets
Oct 5, 2018
A) Something about all of the Kavanaugh protests and protesting in general. I think its important to put something in perspective...protesting can be a sacrifice but it can also be something that is largely available to the privileged and not easy for many women to participate in
B) Think about when a team in your city has won a championship. You ever marvel how many men find a way to get the day off at a moment's notice to attend the rally? How they manage to stay out partying in the middle of the week even though they have to go to work the next day?
C) While many women showed up to the women's march, that was planned in advance and took place on a Saturday. Women are the primary caregivers, many women work two jobs and then have a job at home with kids/house etc.
Read 5 tweets
Oct 4, 2018
FUCK YOU @ChuckGrassley
FUCK YOU @OrrinHatch
FUCK YOU @JohnCornyn
FUCK YOU @ThomTillis
FUCK YOU @SenMikeLee
FUCK YOU @BenSasse
FUCK YOU @tedcruz
FUCK YOU @MikeCrapo
FUCK YOU @SenJohnKennedy


FUCK YOU @senatemajldr

and finally

B) FUCK YOU @JeffFlake
C) Feckless Cunt 2.0
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2018
A) I have some news to share...Why am I doing a super intimate show in LA? Well, I decided to bite the bullet and I'm filming my current act, the same one I've taken across the world, for a special. Difference is, I'm filming this on my own and with my own money. Here's why..
B) This is not the way I want to do it. I'd rather have a deal with @Netflix @Apple @HBO, but despite the fact that I hold the Guinness Book of World Record for the most televised comedy specials, none of the companies that are in the comedy special biz have come calling.
C) Since I launched my world tour last year, and especially as I've done sold-out appearances in the US and Canada, there's not a day that goes by where a fan doesn't ask me when I'm releasing a special based on the Laugh Your Head Off Tour. I want to record my act for my fans
Read 14 tweets
Sep 25, 2018
Tonight, I called a bunch of fans who ordered merch from my re-launched merch store!

Making more calls this week!

Order Merch Here: bit.ly/KathyMerch
B) Just added stuff to my merch store!

1. Fuck Trump coffee mug
2. Trump in prison/orange jumpsuit t-shirt

Reminder, to celebrate the re-launch of my merch store, I'm calling fans to thank them for ordering merch! See video above!

My Merch Store: bit.ly/KathyMerch
C) Called Gema last night to thank her for ordering stuff from my merch store!

Merch Store: bit.ly/KathyMerch
Read 8 tweets

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