Frederick Joseph Profile picture
May 23, 2018 25 tweets 7 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
Thread: Six years ago today, I found out that I have #MultipleSclerosis. A battle I wasn’t prepared for, but with the help of my family and friends, I continue to fight.

I hope my story will help someone else with #MS or a loved one of someone with MS.
I’ve always been in love with athletics and exercise, I played EVERYTHING growing up and that didn’t change as I entered adulthood.

I remained a very active person, so when my body began to feel “off”, I knew something was wrong.
One morning I woke up and my legs didn’t really have sensation, sort of like “pins and needles” when you’ve been sitting too long.

I didn’t think much of it, and I decided to go play football that day anyway. Most of the game I felt fine, but then my legs felt sensation-less.
I decided to sit the rest of the game out (I was playing like garbage and was likely going to get switched anyway). I went home and relaxed, figured I would hit the gym the next day and stretch it out, get some blood flowing. I’d feel better — I was wrong.
The next morning I woke up and could barely feel my hands, so I decided not go. The feeling of pins and needles persisted in various parts of my body for over a week. I wasn’t able to hold things, wasn’t able to walk or stand at times.

It was time to go to the doctor.
After a few days I went to my primary physician (she went off on me because I hadn’t been in years ... I know I know). She did the normal blood tests, asked me how much I’d been drinking (yikes), and what not.

A few days later the results came back, she couldn’t figure it out.
She recommended that I see a neurologist to run some scans. I was annoyed because I’m like, “listen, nothing is wrong with my mind, I can’t use my arms and legs man”.

She was annoyed and told me to just listen (she may have saved my life honestly). So I did.
A few days later I went to the neurologist. He ran a bunch of tests and scans, some of which were dope because he hooked things up to me and I ran on a treadmill, so I was going to stunt on IG like I was getting drafted.

Never got a chance to stunt, the news was too frightening.
The neurologist called me later that week and asked me to come in (no one EVER wants to get asked to come in after you’ve done tests).

When I got there they had me meet him in his office. So I sat down and he says “what do you know about Multiple Sclerosis?”
I told him I didn’t know anything, so he explained it to me in great detail (maybe too much detail about what could possibly happen to me).

All I heard was “blind”, “wheelchair”, “no cure”, and “death”.

I’m sure he also had some positive things to say, but I didn’t hear them.
I went to my apartment after leaving the neurologist’s office and I immediately walked into the bathroom and vomited.

I walked into my room, put on some Al Green (my grandmother’s favorite) and cried myself to sleep.
The next day I didn’t leave my room at all. I didn’t eat, I didn’t brush my teeth, I didn’t shower, I just wallowed in my fear, anger, and pain.

Somewhere in the darkness I thought about my grandmother who had bravely fought breast cancer twice (RIP). I gave myself one pity day.
The next day I woke up and I knew it was time to put in work, focus, and grow up.

I read everything I could find about MS. Treatments, workouts, medicines, foods, and more. I decided I wasn’t going to tell anyone until I had it under control (not my best decision).
Within a few days I was on medicine (there were HELLA pills).

I was already in fair shape, but wanted to try and push myself to another healthier and stronger level.

I also wanted to eat better (I was broke as hell, so this was difficult...damn You capitalism). I got to work.
The medicines were having some major side effects on me, I was dizzy, had no appetite, stomach sick, and more.

But I was hell bent on managing this my way. At this point I still hadn’t told my family. Until one day I realized I needed help — badly.
It was a Monday and I was at the gym after work. I felt pretty out of it, but I had a hard day and wanted to workout.

I was doing shoulder presses and I suddenly became extremely dizzy and tired and started wobbling. I dropped the weight and cut my hand and blacked out.
The Gym associates asked who they should call, I didn’t have anyone — because no one knew.

I decided to start telling people. The last person I told was my mother. She had recently given birth to my little brother so I didn’t want to stress her.
I told some friends who didn’t seem to care much (we aren’t friends now). I also told a woman I was dating who told me she could no longer see me (this wouldn’t be the last time).

Though, some of my ex girlfriends have supported me beyond measure with my MS (thank you 🖤)
My mom took it as well as any parent could who ran to WebMD 😂. But we made it through.

Her and my friends gave me the support I needed.

A friend brought up the fact that I should do the MS walk and raise money. So we did, and so many folks showed up!
The MS walk became a tradition for some time, though it’s a very interesting thing being at an event to raise money for an health issue you have.

But I learned a lot doing the walks and being around people who shared my pain and had insight.
Over the years my MS has taken me down roads I didn’t know whether I would make it back from.

The sensation-less feeling was followed by constant random exhaustion, memory loss, vision loss, anxiety, back problems, depression, hospital stays and more.

But, I’m here. Blessed.
MS is a lonely fight. It doesn’t manifest itself in the ways other things do. You can’t look at me and see that I have MS. People forget I have MS — I forget some days that I have MS.

But then it reminds you, and reminds everyone around you if it gets bad enough.
I’ve been lucky enough to transform my body and my mind by training myself with games to help my memory and working out in specific ways so I can still accomplish things if my hands hurt or my legs give out.

I’m working on fortifying every part of who I am as things get worse.
Every morning I wake up it’s something new...what’s my body going to do today. This story doesn’t have a happy ending, because managing to survive a battle just means you’re at war.

Without a cure, this war won’t end. But I will make sure this isn’t what beats me.
I hope I can serve as some sort of inspiration. MS doesn’t have to stop you or define you and it doesn’t have to stop your loved ones.

But, we do need your help and love.

If you’d like to learn more about #MultipleSclerosis, I suggest following @mssociety for more info.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Frederick Joseph

Frederick Joseph Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @FredTJoseph

Jul 31, 2018
The Hypocrisy of Racist Logos:

Last weekend I decided to wear this shirt, I figured it would catch some by surprise but I didn’t expect people to be as trash as they were.
The shirt is a play on the Washington “Redskins” logo to demonstrate how people look wearing apparel with a logo that is blatantly racially charged and disrespectful.

The shirt doesn’t have any rude language or slurs such as “crackers” or “honkies”... but that didn’t matter
I left @SXMProgress after just doing an interview with @XorjeO and it was my first time in public with the shirt on.

A white guy walking by mistook the shirt for an actual team shirt and yelled “Go Skins!” I said “nah”, he then saw my shirt and yelled “asshole!”
Read 12 tweets
Jun 6, 2018
Thread: The 320th Barrage Balloon Battalion – the first African American unit in the segregated US Army to come ashore on D-Day. #DDay
All films about the storming of Omaha Beach in France on June 6, 1944 don’t show any black soldiers. Most textbooks never mention them, but they were there, fighting against tyranny — all while dealing with it at home and in the military.
The 320th were charged with raising hydrogen-filled balloons over the beaches anchored to steel cables. Tucked under the 125-pound gasbags were small bombs .

Until the beaches were cleared, the 320th were infantry troops as well. Digging trenches and round up German troops.
Read 11 tweets
May 22, 2018
Thread: I asked people what the longest romantic relationships they’ve seen are, and the responses have been amazing.

People have shared stories, photos, advice, pain, and joy. I’ve added some of my favorites and will continue to add as people share! #ShareSomeLove
Aspire to be like @MsDre20’s parents. Still dancing to their own music.
Romance to smile at and advice on how it continues to work from @kjemcgregor.
Read 30 tweets
Mar 13, 2018
The audacity of white privilege:

This woman next to me took her shoes off and placed both feet on the table. So I’m waiting for flight staff to say something...
So flight staff walks by numerous times without saying anything, and I’m irate, because no black person would ever get away with this shit. So I start looking at the staff noting that there is an issue. You know, giving them the snitch eye...
So finally I decide to say something to the woman myself. So I say “ma’am, I’m trying to eat, and your feet are next to my food.”

She says “what do you want me to do, the seats are small”
Read 15 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!


0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy


3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!