Thread by @petit_elefant

I’m too tired to sleep so I’m going to tweet out the dumbest Utah names from my son’s Junior High yearbook. Buckle up.

Preslee. Madolin. Kolten. Atylee. Mekeli. Paityn. Kyson. Taeber. Saydee. Makinlee. Haleigh. Braylin. Syrie. Madisyn. Kirtlyn.

Madysen. Aeryn. Taiten. Taycie. Gambit. Aroarin. Braxton. Macady. Maycee. Jaxon. Ryker. Jaxon. Jr. Laycee. Taeton.

Kelldrix. Kaydenz. Taeg. Macee. Jazmyne. Questin. Katharin. Remington. Shaelynn. Jordyn. Jadyn. Macilynne. Kayleigh. Kayson.

Jaidyn. Tayson. Maddyson. Bayli. Kaydee. Madyson. Madysen. Rylei. Braelyn. Micaylee. Ashlynn. Braxton. Dezalin. Dreyasin. (The last two are twins.)

Jadyn. Maddyson. Kacey. Kelcie. Oaklie. Broc. Keyairaa. Coye. Aimsley. Gaige. Ryker. Alyxandrya. Stott. Daxton. Kalei.

Jaxen. Ryen. Paizley. Garyn. Kasidy. Zoie. Maecy. Addisen. Kambri. Cambrie. Trenton. Bayleigh. Avorie. Sydnee. MacLaine.

Just Maklain. Autocorrect added an ‘e’.

Layne. Maysan. Katlyn. Ashtian. Lindzie. Alivia. Swayzie. Tayxa. Cambry.

And my hands down favorite this year . . .

FELECYA

. . . bye

These are legit 100% real names straight from the yearbook. #utah

Settle in because I’m headed to high school graduation now and the names are even better.

I know for sure there’s a Parriss walking tonight.

I forgot one of the best ones! A cowboy named CINCH.

As in, the cinch strap for your horse saddle.

He wears a belt buckle every day.

Graduation honorable mentions:

Kindree. Kayley. Britlee. Kytie. MaKayla. SHAKOTAH. Madalyn. Eros. Kynnaston. Briley. Makaylee. Kenion. Jacklynne. Evigail. Treydon. Daxton.

Kennidee. Toj. Kenidee. Adisyn. Jordyn. Zephon. Cassady. Keylee. Laton. Ashlin. Bryler. Larrin. Kacie. Rhiannon. Annalyse. Braydon. Addesyn.

Courtlyne. Kylee. Quinci. Dyllon. Braxton. Jaxson. Kaylee. Mckray. SHADEE. Ashlyn. Amberlee. Camryn. McKailey. Braxdon. Sydnee. JayCee.

STRAN. Dexonna (silent ‘x’). Rayce. Elexys. Celisa. MACGYVER.

Fin.

Thaynkx, #utah!

Listen up, all of you threatening to call the police or press charges:

I didn’t name these children. It’s not my fault.

Also, every single one of these children is white. 99.9% is them are Mormons. At least one of them is named after a favorite gun. Save your outrage.

*of them