Jeremy Corbin MP, Prime Ministerial Parody Profile picture
Labour MP for Ramallah West (Parody)

Mar 8, 2018, 19 tweets

I will now exonerate myself completely of all ridiculous charges by CAA @antisemitism that there was anything dodgy about my two-year membership of the #PalestineLive secret Facebook group that could POSSIBLY bring the Labour Party into disrepute. So read this thread, you fools!

Firstly, it's a secret group. I couldn't possibly get onto it except if a nasty antisemite invited me, so the odds of me finding myself there are a million to one. Well, that's exactly what happened! How amazing! #WhatAreTheOdds

It turns out that a lovely woman called Elleanne Green, the founder and admin of the group, DID invite me (my memory!). She is no antisemite, she just believes Mossad did 9/11-but then so did my good friend Stephen Sizer, who I defended-and he's in the group, so it's all good!

Once there, I found a great thread that refers to 'Zios' and I pitched in. Obviously, this was before Shami's wonderful report, at a time when NO-ONE knew that saying Zio was naughty, and that the KKK's David Duke had promoted it as a racist term. So: no problem there!

I also found a terrific thread starting with a post claiming “Israel Is Illegitimate” (who knew?!) and then another saying the idea of the Jewish People was invented (I had no idea!) and then someone referred to ‘Wayward Jews’ (Chutzpah, eh?): very interesting, so I pitched in!

Then I was asked by Elleanne for some help with a talk by an Anti-Zionist called Max Blumenthal, so I sent my social media guy to organize it at my offices. Chaz, Eleanne and Lynn all were so appreciative, but I’m very humble, so I replied to all three by thanking Jack instead!

As it turns out Chaz here likes to support Holocaust Denial “Muh Holocaust” – so humorous - honestly. that Chaz! I’m so shocked. Really. Otherwise, he’s a lovely guy.

Lynn, to whose post I respond directly below, supports Rothschild conspiracy theory, is a fan of David Icke, and believes Mossad might be responsible for the Paris terrorist attacks. What a wide spread of beliefs and interests my friends have!

Then again, my friend and group admin Elleanne also broadcasts the work of Gilad Atzmon, an antisemite so extreme that he is shunned by the lovely Palestinians. Well, everyone’s entitled to an opinion! Free speech, I say!

The very lovely Elleanne also promoted events at the ‘London Forum’ – a group described by The Independent as a ‘secret neo-Nazi group’, where Alison Chabloz has performed a ditty or two.........I don't know anything about a group, songs or music at all! Young people, eh?

In the group, I quite rightly expressed “huge respect for my friend Dr. Mads Gilbert”. He’s a friend of Hamas – but hey, so am I – so why not?! He also says of 9/11: “The oppressed also have a moral right to attack the USA with any weapon they can come up with” Hey - Go Mad(s)!

Also, why on earth should I not be there with my old friends, like Paul Eisen, who I claim not to have hung out with since he came out as a holocaust denier. Hey Paul! Sorry I can’t come to the next Deir Yassin thing, the cameras will be there!

There are of course some bad people there who I don’t know! Like this woman, Jackie Walker, who said ‘many jews were the chief financiers of the slave trade’. What a wicked Farakhan hoax. I’ve never heard of her.

But there were so many other old Labour friends there too: Tony Gratrex, Terry Crouchman, George Garside and dozens more. Just look them up in the report-lovely people all! It's hardly surprising I hung around there.

That’s of course without the massive slew of jew-hating, holocaust-denying, far-right racist sewage spouted on the group, posted there or by its members elsewhere, which of course I didn’t see, because I was so focused on my lovely friends. I'm like a laser!

Anyway, who has time to look into the background of EVERY person you hang out with. Is a busy leader of her Majesty’s Opposition supposed to have some kind of nose for such things? Really!

It’s such a lovely group, that my son Seb joined, my social media guy, Paul Mason, Chris Williamson MP and even Clive Lewis, MP! But all good things come to an end, and I had to leave shortly after becoming leader of the Labour Party. I can’t imagine why!! Can you?

So you silly people at @antisemitism, fancy thinking that participating in this group could possibly bring me into disrepute with the Labour Party, or contravene our NEC’s Social Media Policy! You are so funny sometimes! Bye for now-this jam won't make itself!

(If you don't believe me, see Mr Collier's report via @mishtal or read… )

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