Thread by @UchennaNG

My love for adventure tends to supersede my use for common sense sometimes,.but it's safe to say that it's no longer the case.

It all started when I went for my cousin's traditional marriage in the village and met Sola.

YEMOJA - The Sea Goddess 😭

#StoryTimeWithUche

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I had managed to save up some money though my business hadn't been doing well, my cousin was my favourite relative so I couldn't miss his wedding for the world.

I boarded a bus to Onitsha from Yaba on a Saturday and by 6pm I had arrived at my family compound

#StoryTimeWithUche

I stepped in I saw my little cousins playing, as soon as they saw me they ran to welcome me & I gave them what I bought on my way.

As I went inside the house I saw my cousin Tobe who was getting married

"Uchman you dun show"

"Yes o!"

"Welcome!"

"Nna welcome" my aunty said..

Fast forward..

I freshened up & went with my cousin to his house, on the way he said he needed to pick up something from his "wife"

"You dun dey call am wife?"

We both laugh as we drove straight to our in-law's place.

Few minutes later we arrived at the house & parked outside

We went inside the house & the warm reception we received made me wish I was the one getting married, I sat down in the living room with my cousin & few minutes later his wife came to call him.

"Nawa o" I thought as I was left alone, few minutes later I heard a tiny voice say hi

I looked up to see who it was & there was this girl who looked like she just made a return trip from the oceans, she had no smile on her face but there was no frown either.

"What may I offer you?" She asked & I froze, "uhm anything you have" I replied when I gained consciousness

She left & few minutes later she came back with a tray of akpu & ofe onugbu, I screamed for joy internally as I thanked her for the food & pounced on it.

Minutes later she came back with a bottle of cold beer; in a short period she already made me the happiest man in the world..

I thanked her again & she left, as she walked away I noticed her waist beads because of the kind of top she had on, I ignored & kept eating

As I was eating others joined me in the living room & my cousin then made a proper introduction, he introduced me to his wife & her friends

At the point I realised that this strange girl was Chioma's friend who came to support her from Lagos, I soon finished eating & drinking so we had to go back home to prepare for the wedding the next day.

We bade them all goodbye & we left, we got into the car & drove home!

The D day was here & we were set for the wedding, I joined my other relatives & we went straight to the wedding. We got to our in-laws' & everywhere was looking nice.

We had a grand arrival & in no time the ceremony commenced, there was enough drinks & food & everybody was glad!

While I was dancing & feeling happy I immediately spotted Sola; the strange looking girl from the previous day & my mood changed, I stopped dancing & started watching her.

She catwalked through the crowd & went to the backyard & I immediately went after her

"Hello Sola" I said!

She stopped, turned 180 degrees & looked at me with the same look as the previous day, "remember me?" I asked & she said yes.

I was blown away & almost forgot to follow up with a dope follow up line but I regained consciousness; "God created you on one of his best days" I said..

I was expecting her to be blown away but she just smiled a bit & said "Thanks", I immediately lost excitement & became curious, "she's different" I thought.

I thanked her for the food & told her I hoped to see her after the ceremony;

"Sure"

"Can I have your number?"

"Oh sure"

Fast forward..

I went back to the ceremony & in some hours time it was over, everything went successful & we took "our wife" home afterwards.

I went home, freshened up, laid down to sleep & my phone rang, I look to see who;

"Progress again?!"

"How far?"

"I dey"

"How e go?"

We talked for a while & he didn't fail to ask if there was any girl in the picture, out of excitement I told him about Sola.

"Guy dey careful o, girls wey dey answer Sola na mostly ogbanje" he said.

I asked what he meant & he told me about a certain Sola he knew;

"Mami water!"

We soon ended the call & I spent the whole night thinking about Sola, "She has some mami water attributes tho" I kept thinking as I slept off.

In my dream that night I saw myself & Sola holding hands, I woke up the next morning convinced that she was the one for me.

She's mine!

As I stepped out to have breakfast I saw another cousin of mine who we nicknamed "the village parrot", I called her aside & asked if she knew anything about Sola

"That aunty Chi friend from Legos?"

"Yes"

"All the boys in this village have chyked her & she dinor gree"

"Ehen?"

I thanked her for the "amebo" & went to eat, later that day after doing all i had to do I called Sola to ask if we could see & she said yes.

I told her I'd visit later & she said ok; I went to shower

I went to see her that evening, I called when I got to the gate & She came out

When she came out I stepped out to hug her & she hugged me back - the hug was electrifying but I couldn't react.

I asked if she would love to hangout at a place called Nellys; "we could talk better there" I added, after much deliberation she agreed so we went there.

We soon got there & found a table, sat down & ordered drinks. Sola spoke few words, maintained her weird facial expression 90% of the time & it was intriguing!

Minutes later the drinks came, she took a fee sip & in no time I managed to get her talking.

She told me about herself

I'd wanted to wait after a while to be sure if I liked her but I was convinced faster than I imagined, I'd never met a girl like Sola my entire life - everything about her was strange yet interesting.

She then said she'll be going back to Lagos the next day through Asaba airport

I was sad but had to act cool, we later finished chilling & I saw her off & went back to my house. From that moment my world changed, all I could think of was Sola.

I stopped bothering about bad business or any other thing; just food & Sola throughout my stay in the village..

Everything was over & it was soon time to go back, I'd spoken to Sola on the phone a few times & it made me even want to appear in Lagos as soon as I could.

I picked a date to travel, announced it & started to pack my bags.

The day to leave was here & I bade everyone goodbye..

Fast forward..

I got to Lagos safely by evening & managed to drag myself home, I got to my house & tried to open it but it was locked from within.

"Who is inside my house for Christ sake!" I thought, as I wanted to hit the door someone opened from inside

"Progress? You again?"

I went inside & saw a girl with my duvet just like it happened back in school, "Oboy how your journey?" He asked as I dropped my bag.

I couldn't stay angry with him so I just told him it was fine, he introduced me to his guest & I said hi to her.

I then sat down to relax a bit.

As I brought out my phone I got a text from Sola asking if I arrived safely, I became excited & quickly replied. Progress soon stepped out with his girl who was already dressed up to go, he noticed the excitement on my face & became curious

He asked if it was the same Sola girl?

I told him she was the one & he asked if I had her picture, I then remembered we took a selfie at Nelly's & I opened my Gallery.

"Na this girl?!" He screamed, I asked if he knew her & he said yes!

"How?"

"Omo ehn! Omo ehn!"

"Omo wetin?"

"The girl matter ehn"

"Wetin do her?"

"Pro pro I'm in a hurry" his girl finally spoke with a tiny voice, Progress then had to leave so he handed me my phone & hurriedly left.

I spent a while thinking about what Progress said but I already made up my mind to see Sola's case to the end, I pick my phone to call Sola..

The sound of her voice awakened a soft spot that I couldn't explain, I decided to ask her out to a corporate dinner a client had invited me to at; I asked & she agreed to go with me.

"Yes!"

We ended the call on a happy note & I went to freshen up, I went to bed glad that night.

The D day was here & I dressed in nice corporate wear, got a taxi & went straight to pick Sola from her friend's house where she spent the previous night.

She stepped out in a silver laced gown & that day I finally concluded that I was going to allow her take my life!

"Cheii!"

The dinner was awesome but we just focused on each other, the feeling I had was heavenly & I was happy like a little boy in a candy store.

I knew I couldn't let her go away so I thought of what to say

Yes!

"There's only one thing I want right now"

"What?"

"For u to be mine!"

I expected a smile at least because most girls would react to that type of question but she still kept that her same old face, "what kind of human being is this?" I thought

"I like you, you're persistent" she said & I thought I finally won, "but I can't date you" she added

Ehn?

I was heartbroken & scared, my heartbeat increased but out of experience I had to relaunch & he first thing I said was "why?"

"You're player & I'm just one of your pawns" she said, "God forbid!" I replied

"Me? Player? I've never even heard of such word in my life" I added..

"Are you sure?" She asked & I almost swore with my father who is still alive, I told her yes but she said she wasn't convinced.

"You need to prove that you really want just me" she added, "anything you want me to do I'll do!" I replied

I was curious, I really wanted to date her

She told me that I had to meet her mom, "is that all?" I asked & she said yes. I told her I was ready to meet her whole village if they'd see me, she finally laughed & I knew I was almost there!

We then agreed to meet her mother that Saturday evening, & proceeded to eat & drink!

Saturday evening was here & we met somewhere around iganmu, the area looked a bit ghetto but I kept calm. She told me her mom lived down the road so we held hands & smiled as we walked down.

"Just this last hurdle to cross & I'll get this weird daughter of Jezebel as mine?"

Ok!

We finally got to a compound with a low fence, it was a storey building but both the upper flat & the down flat was "face me I face you".

We walked through the passage & I started becoming scared, "your mom stays here?" I asked & she said yes;

"Any problem?" She asked

"No o!"

We finally got to her mom's apartment & what I saw on her door sent fear down my body, I saw a sign "Iba awa omo yemoja" meaning "greetings o ye children of the mermaid" with a big fish drawn beside it.

"Is this your mom's place?" I asked again out of fear

"Yes. Why?"

Nothing!

She knocked, said some incantations in Yoruba & went in; at this point I was almost peeing on my body. I went inside with leaving my shoes outside.

The first thing I noticed as I stepped in was a white cloth hanging on an alter with Calabash & cowries around it.

"I'm finished!"

"Hello my son, welcome" this plus sized woman sitting by the alter designed with the ddrawing of a fish behind her said;

"Evening ma" I said bowing my head, she asked both of us to sit opposite her & we did.

I sat & prayed the ground opened to swallow me; I was drowning in fear

"Ushe my son"

"Yes ma"

"You say you love my pikin"

"Ye.. yes ma!"

"Its okay, she like you & I like you too"

"Thank you ma"

"There's one thing you have to do before you marry her"

"It's date I want to date her ma"

"Ehn same no ni date ati marry"

"Yes ma, what's the thing?

"You have to promise you will not sheat on her"

"Just that?"

"Yes"

"I promise to not cheat on her ma"

"Okay, that is all"

"That's all?!"

"Yes"

"Thank you ma"

"Let us give you food"

"No ma, I'm in a hurry"

I stood up & Sola also stood up, we bade her mom goodbye & left!

We walked a bit further & I stopped Sola & asked her what our status was, "well, I'm yours now" she said

"For real?"

"Yes"

I screamed for joy, hugged her & kissed her in the cheeks. I told her we should go to my place & she agreed!

We went to my house & that was it;

Mekwe!!

I wasted no time with the registration & celebration mekwe, it felt like I had a direct contact with the goddess of Mekwe that evening.

Suddenly!

It dawned on me that I just embarked on a journey of no return, I thought of telling my family I was married.

"What have I done?!"

The next day she left & I finally was able to sleep as I spent the previous night thinking, hours later a phone call woke me up.

"Progress again!"

He said he was calling as regards Sola;

"Free that babe for me" Progress said..

"Na your babe?"

"No but.."

"But what? Hello?!"

I called Progress back for an explanation but his number wasn't reachable, I was confused & everything was becoming more strange.

I managed to pull myself together & went about my normal activities, about 2 hours later Sola called!

"Hey baby what's up?"

"I'm fine baby"

The word "baby" from Sola sparked a great feeling I couldn't explain & I became glad, she told me she was going to Ibadan that day & I told her to have fun.

"Take care baby" she said & ended the call, my spirit got lifted.

Few hours later Progress called back!

"Wetin you talk"

"Oboy I dey Oyo state" he said when I picked; he explained that his father was rushed to a hospital in Oyo state where he was working

"E no too serious sha, I go update you" he said as we ended the call.

"Hmmm What's going on?" I thought as I became worried

"What's happening?"

While I was dwelling in my thoughts I got a message from Ejiro; Ejiro is a girl I had been curving for months now, "today is my birthday & I'm having a party at Ajah" she said

I took my phone & called her back, she said she would be glad if I came

And I've curved her too much o

I finally agreed to see her, "I could use a drink & some hangout" I thought. I dropped my phone & she sent me the address of the venue.

I was a bit worried about coming back to the mainland from Ajah that night but I ignored, freshened up & headed straight to Ajah.

"I'm here!"

I met Ejiro & she introduced me to her friends who were all looking good, minutes later other guys joined our table & a comedian climbed the stage to crack jokes.

In no time I started laughing as the comedian was really funny, I also forgot that I hadn't eaten & drank a lot!

Every other thought disappeared & I started to enjoy the hangout, everything started to fade out - before I knew what was happening I passed out!

The next time I opened my eyes & I was in a bedroom, I looked up & I saw Ejiro wearing a transparent dress & applying facial cleanser

"Oh you're awake" Ejiro said when she noticed I was awake, "hope nothing happened?" I asked out of fear & she told me to relax.

I looked at the time & it was 10 minutes to 1, I asked how I got here & she told me I passed out - I remembered I hadn't eaten all day & screamed

Yay!

"I'm making noodles, you'd eat yes?" Ejiro asked & I immediately said yes, I was too hungry to even start wondering how I got there - she said nothing happened so I just believed.

Few minutes later she brought a plate of noodles, I noticed it was spiced with thyme but I just ate

We finished eating & the next thing I knew I was laying side by side with Ejiro & staring her in the face, she murmured a word that I didn't hear & before I knew it we started to kiss.

"No! Stop!" I said immediately I realised what was about to happen, I can't cheat on Sola!

No

Before I knew it Ejiro took off her transparent clothes to reveal the whole kingdom, "the spirit is willing but the body is not" I said as I gave in to the call of Mekwe!

The Mekwe was epic, & similar to Enoch I went to heaven without dying; but with a private jet & not chariots

Immediately the mekwe ended I started to feel some type of way, I turned to Ejiro but she was already fast asleep. Next thing I went blank & it felt like I was sinking into an endless pit

I cried out for help but I couldn't hear myself, I looked around & saw myself in a dungeon!

I was surrounded by fire & 2 big fish, the fire started to burn me & the 2 fishes were dancing & laughing at me. I tried to scream but I couldn't, I tried to run but I was floating.

Few minutes later I saw Sola's mom appear looking like a mermaid; she then started to laugh!

"I'm sorry for cheating on Sola!" I wailed repeatedly, it continued for hours until I finally woke up the next morning.

I was so weak that I couldn't move, I started wailing & cursing myself for cheating on Sola - "I'm finished o!" I cried as I managed to get up to leave Ejiro.

I managed to sneak out of the compound as Ejiro slept, I asked for directions while still panicking about my encounter with the devil & fish goddess.

"Maybe I should call Sola to apologise" I thought.. I decided to call Sola to apologise for cheating on her.

"I'm so sorry baby"

I brought out my phone to call Sola but her number was switched off, "what do I do?" I thought - I decided to call Progress!

"Guy Sola dey here with me" he said as he picked the call, "where? How?" I asked & he told me to meet them at a restaurant around Ajah.

"Wuzz happening?"

I found an 'okada' & told him where I was going, luckily he knew where it was so we headed there

"What's going on?"

"What's progress doing with Sola?"

I kept wondering what I had put myself into, "chai this mekwe has finally killed me in real life!" I wailed as we were riding.

Minutes later I located the restaurant, my worries grew as I became anxious of the possible outcome of everything. I paid the rider & went inside the restaurant.

To my greatest surprise I walked in on Progress & Sola laughing & eating meatpie with soda!

"What's going on here?!"

"Oh come and meet my baby!" Progress said as I walked in, "former baby" Sade cut him; "well former baby but still my baby" Progress replied.

"Baby? Former baby? What's that?" I asked with my mouth wide open & hands in the air, "remember that my classmate wey we been date?"

Who?

Progress then told me that Sola was his classmate in primary school & they dated & recently broke up

"How?" I asked as I turned to Sade, "I came here to apologise but I never expected this" I added. "Aplogise for what?"

"Forget about that 1st, what is my friend talking about?"

"It's true"

"What is true?"

"Progress & I dated & he cheated on me with my friend"

"You? Progress? Date? Cheat? How?"

"Yes. He cheated with Sade so when I found out you were friends I decided to get back at him"

"You did what?! So this was all a game to you?"

"I'm sorry!"

"You're sorry? And still attacked me for cheating on you?" I asked, "attack you how?" Progress asked & I told him "spiritually".

"I didn't attack you o!" Sola replied, "why did I see your mom in my dream?" I asked & she said she knew nothing about that.

"My parents are abroad!"

Sola explained how she hired a theatre practitioner to act as her mom to make me committed - We then asked why she went through all that just to 'get me'; "to get back at Progress" she replied

"After he cheated with Sade I swore to revenge, sorry it was you" she added

"Funke!"

At this point my life was over; paying for Progress's sin plus spiritual attack

"So why did you still attack me last night?" I asked after accepting my fate & she swore she knew nothing about it

"Guy your village people dey pursue you, make we go see my pastor" Progress replied

When he saw I wasn't taking it funny he stopped & started to apologize, as we were at it I got a text from Ejiro;

"Thanks for a great time, hope the weed I put in the noodles didn't knock you out? Take care" she wrote.

"So you were hallucinating?!" They both screamed!

"Funke!"

Surprise!!" I heard people behind me scream, as I turned back I saw KK & Ejiro scream behind me

"Happy birthday!" Progress echoed & I was shocked, I quickly checked my phone & I realised it was June 14

"Damn! It's my birthday o!" I screamed & they all wished me happy birthday..

So all of you planned this ehn?" I said with a smile as I walked towards KK to collect the birthday cake he brought, I turned to Ejiro to ask how she was involved in the whole plan & why she drugged me.

"Your birthday is always a day after mine, & KK said you don't get high"

Oh

"The stubborn fly would end up in the grave with the corpse"..Be careful of what you do simply because of ego & Mekwe 😂

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