Joanne Harris Profile picture
Jun 22, 2018 15 tweets 3 min read Twitter logo Read on Twitter
There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
The animals of a certain farm had begun to be discontented. They were tired of their usual feed, and the closeness of their quarters.
And so they lobbied the farmer for a change in their circumstances, until at last he lost patience.
The solution to all your problems," he said, "is something called EUTHANASIA." It will end all your troubles, and bring peace once more to the farmyard."
"Euthanasia," repeated the animals. "It sounds a bit like "Fantasia." It must be a wonderful fairyland."
And they spent the next few days arguing over just what form the new regime would take, and just how magical it would be.
The cows and sheep were certain that it would be a pasture, filled with sweet grass.
The pigs said it would be a mud-hole.
The ducks claimed that it would be a lovely pond.
The hens didn't care what it was like, as long as no foxes were allowed.
The farmer neither confirmed nor denied any of this, but simply said that the will of the animals was very important to him, and if EUTHANASIA was what they wanted, then who was he to deny it to them?
The animals were very excited. Except for one elderly pullet, who dared to suggest that perhaps someone should have checked to find out what it meant before clamouring for it so heartily.
"Who cares, as long as there are no foxes?" said the other hens. The farmer smiled and assured them that where they were going, there would indeed be no foxes, or bears, or any other predators.
And so the animals waited, in growing excitement, until one day, a lorry came up to the farmyard gate.
The cows and sheep and pigs began to feel a little nervous. They'd seen lorries like this before, and it never meant anything good.
The farmer and his men opened the door, and began to herd the animals inside. "This is what you wanted," he said. "This is your ride to EUTHANASIA."
"It smells like the slaughterhouse to me," muttered one of the cows, while one of the pigs said, a little too late: "Did we ever find out what "euthanasia" actually means?"
"No," said the farmer, "but you will." And, having collected all his livestock, he prepared himself for a smooth and orderly ride to the abbatoir.
#Storytime
The end

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Joanne Harris

Joanne Harris Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @Joannechocolat

Oct 9, 2018
It's a long train journey, so let's do this one, too. Follow #TenWaysForMenToWriteAboutWomen to collect them all!
1. This one is for the many men who have asked my advice on this. First, kudos for asking. Second, the fact that you needed to ask at all may be the root of your problem. #TenWaysForMenToWriteAboutWomen
2. Look at the way you interact with women in real life. If you're problematic, sexist or prejudiced in life, then you don't have much of a chance of avoiding it in your fiction. #TenWaysForMenToWriteAboutWomen
Read 12 tweets
Sep 18, 2018
This one sounds interesting. Let's extend it to writing about EMOTIONS. Follow the hashtag to collect them all! #TenThingsAboutEmotions
1. To write convincingly about emotions - whether that's love, grief, anger, joy - you have to be acutely aware of your *own* emotions, and how they come across to other people. #TenThingsAboutEmotions
2. It's probably the only instance where the "write what you know" rule really applies. #TenThingsAboutEmotions
Read 11 tweets
Sep 16, 2018
Margareta von Ascheberg (1671 – 1753) was a Swedish land owner, noble and acting regiment colonel during the Great Northern War. #CelebratingWomen
She was the youngest child of Field Marshal Rutger von Ascheberg and Magdalena Eleonora Busseck. In 1691, she married colonel count Kjell Christopher Barnekow in Malmö.
As was the custom of the Swedish nobility as that time, she kept her name after marriage and style herself »Grevinnan Ascheberg» (Countess Ascheberg). The couple had four children.
Read 8 tweets
Sep 15, 2018
Queen Nanny or Nanny (c. 1686 – c. 1755), was an 18th-century leader of the Jamaican Maroons. Much of what is known about her comes from oral history, as little textual evidence exists. #CelebratingWomen
She was born into the Asante people in what is today Ghana, and escaped from slavery after being transported to Jamaica.
Historical documents refer to her as the "rebels' old 'obeah' woman." Following some armed confrontations, colonial officials reached a settlement for peace.
Read 4 tweets
Sep 14, 2018
1. Writer's block is a psychological disorder, and is far, far less common than most people think. It's linked to depression, so if you really think you're suffering from this, get professional help. #TenThingsAboutWritersBlock
2. Many people use the term loosely, to mean "lacking the will or the inspiration to write." If this is you, try to identify the reason. #TenThingsAboutWritersBlock
Read 11 tweets
Sep 14, 2018
Na Hangbe was the ruler of the Kingdom of Dahomey, in present-day Benin, for a brief period before Agaja came to power in 1718. #CelebratingWomen
Little is known about her because her rule was largely erased from the official Dahomey history and much that is known is brought together by various different oral histories.
However, it is believed that she became the ruler of Dahomey upon the sudden death of King Akaba because his oldest son, Agbo Sassa, was not yet of age.
Read 4 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

:(