Thread by @Joannechocolat

There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime

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by @10DowningStreet view original on Twitter

The animals of a certain farm had begun to be discontented. They were tired of their usual feed, and the closeness of their quarters.

And so they lobbied the farmer for a change in their circumstances, until at last he lost patience.

The solution to all your problems," he said, "is something called EUTHANASIA." It will end all your troubles, and bring peace once more to the farmyard."

"Euthanasia," repeated the animals. "It sounds a bit like "Fantasia." It must be a wonderful fairyland."

And they spent the next few days arguing over just what form the new regime would take, and just how magical it would be.

The cows and sheep were certain that it would be a pasture, filled with sweet grass.
The pigs said it would be a mud-hole.
The ducks claimed that it would be a lovely pond.
The hens didn't care what it was like, as long as no foxes were allowed.

The farmer neither confirmed nor denied any of this, but simply said that the will of the animals was very important to him, and if EUTHANASIA was what they wanted, then who was he to deny it to them?

The animals were very excited. Except for one elderly pullet, who dared to suggest that perhaps someone should have checked to find out what it meant before clamouring for it so heartily.

"Who cares, as long as there are no foxes?" said the other hens. The farmer smiled and assured them that where they were going, there would indeed be no foxes, or bears, or any other predators.

And so the animals waited, in growing excitement, until one day, a lorry came up to the farmyard gate.

The cows and sheep and pigs began to feel a little nervous. They'd seen lorries like this before, and it never meant anything good.

The farmer and his men opened the door, and began to herd the animals inside. "This is what you wanted," he said. "This is your ride to EUTHANASIA."

"It smells like the slaughterhouse to me," muttered one of the cows, while one of the pigs said, a little too late: "Did we ever find out what "euthanasia" actually means?"

"No," said the farmer, "but you will." And, having collected all his livestock, he prepared himself for a smooth and orderly ride to the abbatoir.
#Storytime
The end