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Jun 24, 2018 96 tweets 25 min read Read on X
Alright, #HungerGames #CatchingFire

Starting now with the #HungerGamesLiveTweet!

J-law has some dark ass makeup going on, but it's kinda doing the trick for me.

HERE WE GO
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Are her eyes changing colors? I swear they weren't blue before.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ayy its Hemsworth. Legit can't remember what I called him last time.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

EYEBROWS, that's what I called him

And oh shit she's got some serious PTSD. I like that they're actually addressing that.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Yeeeeah my boy Woody is still in this movie
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Bread boy's first words in the movie were about bread...
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"President Snow. What an honor."

She said with the enthusiasm of a strangled fish.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I really hope this turns into an uprising kinda thing
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Tweet has approximately -30 fucks left to give.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Aaaand there's Ru Paul
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I AM IRRATIONALLY HAPPY THAT LENNY KRAVITZ IS BACK
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Woody and Kravitz. Favorite people.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Damn. Bread boy looks DTF.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"I almost thought that kiss was real"

Alright yeah my heart broke a bit right there.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I'm promoting Breadboy to Pita. I know its Peeta, but that just makes me think of Lois Griffin saying it

And I do not want that.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The only people I distrust more than people who say their favorite color is green is someone who says their favorite color is Orange.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What's with the military presence?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

OH HOW DARE THEY USE A PICTURE OF RUE

FUCK YOU
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

My boy Pita is super cool.

I love im.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I think this is how the revolution starts.

One guy whistling.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

WOAH WHAT

WHY DID THEY KILL HIM

HOLY DOG SHIT
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This movie makes me wanna fight someone
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I do like that Pita and Tweety love each other, just not in the way everyone thinks
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

She's not being very convincing of the whole "don't tear down the government" thing.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Does Regis have motherfuckin purple eyebrows?!

That's a whole new level of extra.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Walking into the party like the one who brought the alcohol and GOOD weed.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Hooooly shit they drink an ipecac potion when they're full so they can eat more, meanwhile millions are starving.

I'm sure that abundance of food will trickle down, though.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Weird. Someone is dressed like a normal human.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Also am I going insane or was that Philip Seymour Hoffman?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Eyebrows may have just come from the coal mines; sweaty, covered in dirt, clothes tattered... But that product sure stayed in his hair nicely.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This revolution is going to get very bloody very quickly.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Welp, Eyebrows is gonna die
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Wasn't the captain guy in Sons of Anarchy or something?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Woody, master negotiator. Just saved Eyebrows' life.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Just gonna call that one dude Captain Asshat.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Wooooah that's one mean needle. Jesus. She basically just rammed a twig under his skin.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh god. All the victors have to fight?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy"

He's basically Samwise.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This is soul crushing
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God dammit this does not end well for Pita.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They wouldnt even let her say goodbye

One of these days you guys have to let me watch a happy movie
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Man they even got an old woman?

How fucked up is this gonna GET?!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I hate the peacock weirdo who's macking on Tweety.

Gonna call him GTL. Because he looks like he does.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Did he just eat a sugar cube?

Wouldn't that be a twist if he just fucking died of diabetes in the games.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh hey

They

CAUGHT

FIRE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The chick who got nude in the elevator

Fucking power play
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I find it funny that Tweety isn't allowed to sit with the cool kids and has to go hang in the corner with the weird kids who are playing with matches and probably have peanut allergies or something.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Tweety in the bow and arrow simulator reminds me of the bonus round of that "Big Buck Hunter" game you can find in arcades
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What do you think Regis talks about in the off-season on his show?

Can't really picture him having like Dave Grohl on to talk about music, you know?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Damn they are fighting HARD against doing this.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Alright yeah Joanna is now a favorite.

Gets naked in elevators AND swears on live TV? Be still my heart.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

OH MY GOD THE DREES TURNED INTO A MOCKINGJAY

VIVA LA REVOLUTION
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh shit

Pita

Brilliant move

"If it weren't for the baby"

I fucking love you, dude.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I'm fucking nervous
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"Remember; I'm still betting on you, Girl on Fire"

I WANT TO FIGHT SOMEONE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Dude whys the hell did they beat up Kravitz?

I mean, I know WHY. But fuck.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Look at them

They all had it happen.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Finding it hard to tweet, this is too intense
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This is fucking brutal
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Someone got a triple kill
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Brief note:

I think that actors who do CPR on screen should be required to take the class. Spreading misinformation about how to do CPR is potentially harmful.

Rant over.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Well a bunch of fucking nobodies died on day one.

Refreshing, but still sad.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What's the weird gong noise?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

And why does lightning hate that tree so much?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

And now fog?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh FUCK ME ITS POISON FOG

This is basically PUBG.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

RUN YOU FUCKERS
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The old woman sacrificed herself

Goddamn this is beyond brutal
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I may not like GTL, but the man has convictions.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Sooooo what was the plan if the fog didn't just stop right there, eh?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The acting in this is really good. I'm having a hard time believing they AREN'T in excruciating pain.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

.... Demon monkeys? Acid monkeys?

DEMON ACID MONKEYS
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh fuck camouflage girl fightin them demon acid monkeys
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I don't understand. Why did she run out to attack? She had do dog in that fight.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Raining blood?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ohhhhhkay the arena is a clock. Alright. This makes sense.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh man they killed TickTock.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What the fuck Prim is there?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh it's a bird

That copies?

What the fuck is happening
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Fucking psychological warfare? This shit is unfair.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I really like this Joanna cat. She's cool as hell.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Man I don't want any of these people to die
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Does Tweety really love Pita?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

So uh... How did he get the conductor wire?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The fuck? Did Joanna just betray?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Don't shoot GTL!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"Remember who the real enemy is"
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

OH SHIT SHE BROKE THE GAME

CHEAT CODE BITCH. YOU'VE BEEN HACKED.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They're fully just like in Utah or something
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Does that mean she won? Or... What's happening?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Hoffman is on Team Mockingjay?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh SHIT

VIVA LA MOTHERFUCKING REVOLUTION
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Eyebrows is on board?

I literally saw NONE of this coming.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

District 12 is razed? Goddamn.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

SERIOUSLY

THATS WHERE IT ENDS

I HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK FOR MORE?!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I wanna fight someone

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More from @ChefShwasty

Oct 8, 2018
Right, so, my cat's a fucking psychopath

This is going to be a thread, and this is the start

Anyways, so we got Arwen a toy a while back: amazon.com/OurPets-Play-N…

(hOLY SHIT THAT'S A LONG LINK)

It squeaks at the slightest provocation

(Cont'd...)
Like, it squeaks when you pick it up, squeaks when you throw it, squeaks when it bounces, fucker squeaks when you even look at it funny

It doesn't bother me, because Arwen LOVES it. She's happy, I'm happy. I hear her playing with it at night; makes me smile

But...

Cont'd...
Arwen took it last night, and scampered off with it like a proud little huntress I went to bed, and just as soon as I was about to hit the lights, I hear the fucker short circuit

SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK

I sprint out to the front room...

Cont'd...
Read 18 tweets
Oct 3, 2018
Let's talk about embarrassing my annoying coworker

Thanks to the combined efforts of my heroes, @vipbanaangel and @EinganaDragon, a can of surströmming is on its way (which is salt-fermented Baltic herring, and one of the nastiest things on the planet)

But here's the thing...
My coworker (henceforth known as D) is one of those tinfoil-hat wearing nut-jobs that think as soon as his face is on the internet, his identity will be stolen and the government will find him, and his life will be over

That being said, he's agreed to buckle on one account...
"I'd only be filmed if it's for a good cause"

I'm gonna get that in writing

Meanwhile, we're going to be advocating for donation "pledges" for the Oregon Foster Parent Association

This is how I've worked this out:
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2018
Let's have a chat about Halloween movies

We'll do another bracket-style, and I'm thinking 16 movies:

8 Halloween classics
VS
8 scary movies

We'll let the majority decide on what the #ShwastyHalloweenSpecial is going to be, BUT there's another thing to decide (cont'd...)
And that... is the format for it

It can either be a #ShwastyLiveTweet like we're all used to

OR

It can be a live recording like what happened with @GeekGoodness

Which means you'd be able to listen to it at any time. We could also do another giveaway

BUT (more cont'd...)
There's pros and cons for each style

#ShwastyLiveTweet Pros:
-More generally accessible
-Easier to pick up and put down
-Easy to make a "best of"

Cons:
-Not as immersive
-Not as impulsive
-Not as drunk

(Cont'd...)
Read 4 tweets
Sep 11, 2018
Have you ever had that weird moment of realization that people see you?

Like, okay, hold on

You spend your entire life looking through your own eyes and moving your own limbs. You never see your facial reactions. You don't see how you walk, you just feel it.
And then you walk in front of a mirror and think, "fuck, this is what people are looking at?"

So you make a couple of the same gestures and faces in the mirror that you did with other people to see if they look weird

BUT THAT MAKES IT WEIRDER
And then you go back out and start trying to act natural like you didn't just have this exestential crisis of self and identity and are trying to play it cool

Meanwhile you're freaking out wondering if people feel the same way about their own emotive physicality
Read 5 tweets
Sep 2, 2018
Alright, so "Lost World"

I'm purposely not reading ANYTHING on the box, but I did see "4 years later" before I closed it

So the park has been abandoned for four years im assuming? And I'm hoping like a motherfucker @jeffreygoldbIum is in it

#JurassicParkLiveTweet starts NOW!
#JurassicParkLiveTweet

Shit it's been a while. I'm like... A little nervous?
#JurassicParkLiveTweet

Oh hey is that the same island from Lost?
Read 91 tweets
Jul 21, 2018
#ShwastyLiveTweet of #JurassicPark starts NOW

I know this movie is about a dinosaur island, which would been a less appealing name for the movie

I don't know any of the actors in it, or ANYTHING. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say something goes horribly wrong, though

HIT IT
#ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

I'm prepared y'all
#ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

This is some ominous ass music man.
Read 102 tweets

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