Right, so, my cat's a fucking psychopath

This is going to be a thread, and this is the start

Anyways, so we got Arwen a toy a while back: amazon.com/OurPets-Play-N…

(hOLY SHIT THAT'S A LONG LINK)

It squeaks at the slightest provocation

(Cont'd...) Like, it squeaks when you pick it up, squeaks when you throw it, squeaks when it bounces, fucker squeaks when you even look at it funny

It doesn't bother me, because Arwen LOVES it. She's happy, I'm happy. I hear her playing with it at night; makes me smile

But...

Cont'd...

Let's talk about embarrassing my annoying coworker

Thanks to the combined efforts of my heroes, @vipbanaangel and @EinganaDragon, a can of surströmming is on its way (which is salt-fermented Baltic herring, and one of the nastiest things on the planet)

But here's the thing... My coworker (henceforth known as D) is one of those tinfoil-hat wearing nut-jobs that think as soon as his face is on the internet, his identity will be stolen and the government will find him, and his life will be over

That being said, he's agreed to buckle on one account...

Let's have a chat about Halloween movies

We'll do another bracket-style, and I'm thinking 16 movies:

8 Halloween classics
VS
8 scary movies

We'll let the majority decide on what the #ShwastyHalloweenSpecial is going to be, BUT there's another thing to decide (cont'd...) And that... is the format for it

It can either be a #ShwastyLiveTweet like we're all used to

OR

It can be a live recording like what happened with @GeekGoodness

Which means you'd be able to listen to it at any time. We could also do another giveaway

BUT (more cont'd...)

Have you ever had that weird moment of realization that people see you?

Like, okay, hold on

You spend your entire life looking through your own eyes and moving your own limbs. You never see your facial reactions. You don't see how you walk, you just feel it. And then you walk in front of a mirror and think, "fuck, this is what people are looking at?"

So you make a couple of the same gestures and faces in the mirror that you did with other people to see if they look weird

BUT THAT MAKES IT WEIRDER

Alright, so "Lost World"

I'm purposely not reading ANYTHING on the box, but I did see "4 years later" before I closed it

So the park has been abandoned for four years im assuming? And I'm hoping like a motherfucker @jeffreygoldbIum is in it

#JurassicParkLiveTweet starts NOW! #JurassicParkLiveTweet

Shit it's been a while. I'm like... A little nervous?

#ShwastyLiveTweet of #JurassicPark starts NOW

I know this movie is about a dinosaur island, which would been a less appealing name for the movie

I don't know any of the actors in it, or ANYTHING. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say something goes horribly wrong, though

HIT IT #ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

I'm prepared y'all

Have I ever told you guys about my certifiably insane coworker? We all know that there's two ways to re-holster toilet paper, right? Over-flap and under-flap. What you think I'm about to say is that he prefers under-flap, like a monster.

Nah son. This fucking psycho leaves the roll on the FLOOR in front of the toilet in the public bathroom.

Awright, here we go. The epic conclusion to the #HungerGamesLiveTweet series, either the finale playing as of right....

......

....

..

.......... Now

Let's do this. #HungerGamesLiveTweet

I seriously don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my day after this

ALRIGHT, #HungerGamesLiveTweet part three!

Big ole flamey mockingjay staring me down here. Its a symbol of peace and Pita not dying ever and Woody deciding to up and just retire to Florida so he lives.

Thats what's gonna happen.

Here we go. #HungerGamesLiveTweet

Opening up like some Matrix shit. This is not reassuring.

Alright, #HungerGames #CatchingFire

Starting now with the #HungerGamesLiveTweet!

J-law has some dark ass makeup going on, but it's kinda doing the trick for me.

HERE WE GO #HungerGamesLiveTweet

Are her eyes changing colors? I swear they weren't blue before.

ALRIGHT

#HungerGamesLiveTweet starts now

I get the feeling I'm woefully unprepared for this. At least with Harry Potter I knew it had to do with magic and stuff.

Whereas I just found out Hunger Games isn't about food this morning.

Anyways, LET'S GO. #HungerGamesLiveTweet

Public reaping?

Alright so

The first time I ever smoked pot... In hindsight there were a lot of red fucking flags that should've prevented me from thinking this was a good idea. Like the fact that the hemp bracelet I used to have gave me a rash...

But I am not a smart man.

Alright. Its high noon. Let's kick off the #FantasticBeastsLiveTweet

I know even less about this than I did Harry Potter. How, you ask? Because I didn't even know this existed, and up until the point someone spelled it out for me, didn't know it was canon with HP.

ROLL IT #FantasticBeastsLiveTweet

IT EVEN HAS THE CLOUDS

Is it possible to experience nostalgia for something you didn't know existed two weeks ago?

12pm: fire up #HarryPotter and the #DeathlyHallows pt2 for the potential finale of the #HarryPotterLiveTweet series

While we're watching this, remember that Harry was essentially a foster child, and every child deserves love and shelter: embraceoregon.org

LET'S GO! #HarryPotterLiveTweet

Man it really sucks that y'all had to WAIT for this movie and I can just binge.

On the other hand, I have had like ZERO time to process my losses.

The #HarryPotterLiveTweet of #HarryPotter and the #DeathlyHallows starts NOW.

Jokes on all of you! I have no soul LEFT to crush! It has evaporated from the Half Blood Prince. There's no way it can get worse.

This is gonna be all sunshine, puppies, and fucking rainbows. #HarryPotterLiveTweet

Oh shit Bill Nighe? I have no idea how to spell his name.

But I fucking love him.

Alcohol? ✅
Tissues? ✅
Stuffed animal? ✅
Will to live? Still there. For the time being.

The #HarryPotterLiveTweet of #HarryPotter and the #HalfBloodPrince starts RIGHT NOW.

HOLY DAMN AM I FUCKING NERVOUS.

Hope Bubbles is okay <3 #HarryPotterLiveTweet

Weird ass opening.

Alright! #HarryPotter and the #OrderOfThePhoenix #HarryPotterLiveTweet PART FIVE. Hitting play!

Also, lots of people have been asking to send me stuff like a scarf, etc. Someone even drew me as a wizard! If you want to send something, send it to PO Box 17244, Salem, OR 97305 #HarryPotterLiveTweet

God damn I love the music.

Alright! #Livetweet of #HarryPotter #GobletofFire starts now! (1PM PST)

Never seen any of these before. Today is day four.

The kids have long hair now, and there are OTHER WIZARD SCHOOLS?!?! The fuck?

Let's jump right in shall we? #HarryPotterLiveTweet

I usually pause a movie about ten times so its gonna be a challenge not doing it at all...

But I know lots of people are watching too. This feels like a movie theater!

Day 3, movie 3.

Not a lot going on with this cover except some flying thing in the background. Harry seems to have grown several feet taller. Tall enough to pimp slap Dudley is his goddamn mouth? I hope so.

Here we go: #HarryPotterLiveTweet of the #PrisonerOfAzkaban! #HarryPotterLiveTweet

I've been told the third one is the best, so let's see.

#HarryPotterLiveTweet Thread starts here!

And why are they trying to board a train with a car? Why not just MEET the train at Hogwarts? #HarryPotterLiveTweet

And why is it called Hogwarts? Kinda nasty, IMHO.