Thread by @UchennaNG

The hunger from working had affected me so badly that when I got up to get food I almost fell, I went down & realised there was no food.

"Chai!" I screamed, the fridge was empty & the mall inside the estate was quite a distance but it was my only option.

SOLO WHY? 😭

Thread!

I located my flip-flops, grabbed my phone & wallet then headed straight to the gate. I had barely walked 5 minutes when I felt a heavy hit from behind my thighs, before I knew it I was on the floor.

I had been hit by a Range Rover driving by, it was so painful that I screamed!!

I quickly held my legs to ascertain the magnitude of the knock while the car parked & a young lady wearing heels hopped out of the car.

"Oh my God are you okay?!" She screamed, I didn't bother to respond as I kept expressing pains.

She started to panic..

#StoryTimeWithUche

She came closer & asked if I was badly hurt, I nodded to signal yes before I managed to drag myself up.

"I would be fine" I mumbled, she asked if I would need to go to the hospital & I declined.

"Are you sure?" She asked & I told her I was, "I'll be fine"

"I'm so sorry!"

"Ok"

Can I drop you where you're going to at least? She asked, I told her I was going to get food at the mall - "Oh! Sure I'll take you there" she replied.

I got into her car & we drove, we got to the mall & I went in. There was nothing to eat apart from biscuits so I grabbed some..

I grabbed a few more snacks & a drink, paid & stepped out - As I walked towards the car park I bumped into Mimi & her son bobo!

"Chai!!" I cried within because I'd been avoiding her for a while, "Uncle!!" Bobo screamed as he ran towards me.

"How are you?" Mimi asked

"I'm fine"

I faked a smile & asked her how she was, "I'm fine too" she replied as we got talking - she asked why I'd been avoiding her & I told her I'd been busy.

"This must be your wife?" I suddenly heard a female voice say, I turned to see who it was & it was Gloria the lady that hit me!

"Yes he's my husband & this is Bobo" Mimi immediately responded, I could not believe my ears; "husband?!" I thought - before I could say anything Gloria said a proper hello to Mimi & Bobo.

I'd forgotten she was waiting for me at the car park, "sorry about your leg" Gloria said..

I faked a smile & told her it was okay & she left, I turned to Mimi to ask her the meaning of what she just did - "she's a known cougar in this estate" Mimi replied.

"Really?"

"Yes, I was protecting you" she added, "as per condom na?" I thought - I just "thanked" her & left..

I had barely taken 2 steps when my phone rang, I was 90% sure it was Progress but I still brought out my phone to check

"Progress!!"

He asked where I was & I told him, "come Ediye for Phase 1 make I spoil you" he said - "Argentina match go soon start sef" he added.

Hmmm

Immediately I dropped the call I got a message from my girl, I opened the message out of excitement & got the shocker of my life

"Its over between us!" She wrote, "am I dreaming?" I thought - I brought out my phone to call;

"I'm not getting any younger, I found someone serious"

I asked what she meant & she started explaining how she'd been waiting in vain, she found a "more serious" guy she said..

It felt like my world was crashing down, she was the only good thing left & now she's dumping me.

I tried to beg but she said her but her mind was made up!

Suddenly, I heard a guy say "baby" in the background, she ended the call & I knew I was in a mess.

"I'm finished" I wailed as I stood for minutes, after a while I dragged myself home - I thought it would be best to go out so I freshened up; spending 50% of shower time thinking..

I stepped out & in few minutes I was at Lekki, I walked into the place & saw Progress sitting alone.

"Uchman the hi.."

"Guy no hitman me abeg" I cut him short, he looked at me & saw I was unhappy & asked what the issue was - I told him

"So you mean say Lizzy dump you?"

"Yes!"

I then told him about the Gloria incident & as we talked I heard some female voices behind me, "my queens have finally arrived" Progress said as he stood up to welcome the girls.

He introduced them to me & we exchanged pleasantries, Progress soon ordered drinks & we all chilled.

The Argentine game soon began & we were drinking & laughing until Croatia scored & Progress started to shout

"Wetin dey worry this Argentina sef?!" He kept screaming, I knew Progress was neither a strong football fan or a Barcelona fan so I wondered why he was mad.

"What sef?"

I focused on one of the girls (Angie) & we were both enjoying the whole drama, Progress had ordered 4 bottles each for everyone so we just enjoyed.

The game soon ended & Argentina lost, I excused myself, went to the men's room to pee & as I got back I didn't see Progress sitting

As I made a move towards Angie to ask her where Progress was I hit my leg on a chair & I felt a sharp pain, "ouch" I exclaimed as I gradually made it to my seat.

"Oh I'm so sorry dear!" Angie screamed & I felt embarrassed, I looked up - told her I was fine with a fake smile..

While I was nursing my pain in the presence of Angie Progress immediately rushed in - "Guy hope say your leg never break finally?!" He exclaimed, "it's just the chair he hit" Angie replied

"No o, a car hit him earlier today o!" He responded, "Really?!" Angie asked & I nodded..

Everything soon calmed & I felt Angie was more drawn to me, she started to give me attention & it felt nice - it was soon time to pay the bills & go then Progress tapped me

"How far?"

"Problem dey o"

"Wetin be that"

"Argentina game cut my ticket"

"Ok?"

"75k dun go"

"Ehen?"

He then explained to me that he intended paying the bills with the money he was expecting, "na call I go make to borrow from Solo my guy but na only dollars him get" he added

It was the most confusing moment of my life, "you put hope on football bet for beer money?"

Na mistake!

"Progress has finally killed & buried me" I wailed as I looked at his face, "what are we going to do?" I thought - as I made a move to return to my seat I realised i was tipsy, I was also feeling pains on my leg.

I managed to find my way back, "can we leave now?" Angie then said

"Uhm yes, we can but uhm" Progress stuttered as he came close to respond, "thanks for the patronage" the waiter said as he came back with a receipt for Angie!

"You paid?" I asked & she said yes, "but why did you have to?" Progress replied - I gave him a stern look & he muted.

Progress & his girl headed out while Angie & I followed suit, I discovered that she lived in my estate too & it was the best discovery of my life.

We walked to the car park & I heard car alarms beep, "you drove?" I asked Angie & she said yes

"I'll drop you off?"

"Cool"

"Cool"

I joined her in her car & Progress left with his girl, while we drove Angie told me she had proper medication at her house for my leg.

"If you're not in a hurry, I can help look into it" she said, "I'm a doctor" she added

That was how we ended up having injury & Doctorial Mekwe

I woke up the next morning to breakfast in bed, it felt like I was dreaming - Angie served me tea & bread, I ate & she cleared the table.

I later freshened up & was set to leave, she walked me out the door as we kept talking about stuff.

Suddenly (somebody say suddenly)

Damn

A door opened around the living room & to the greatest shocker I saw Gloria; the lady that hit me with her car, "Osanobua!" I wailed.

"Mummy good morning!"

"Mummy? How?"

"Angela what are you doing with a married man?"

"Who's a married man? Oh shit! I'm the married man!"

Damn

Angela turned to me & gave me an angry look; "so you're married?!" She asked, "I can explain" I replied & she turned back & ran into her room.

I couldn't describe how I was feeling, "see Gloria, Mimi is not my wife" I said as I turned to Gloria.

"Stop denying your family Uche!"

I did all my best to prove to her that I was single & after a while she believed, "but my baby is still mad at you" she said as I walked out of the house confused.

I explained to her that I did nothing wrong, I told her it was the injury she gave me that brought us close.

"Oh!"

We disagreed to disagree & finally ended up smiling, we exchanged numbers as I finally left the house & found my way home. The day already started in an awkward way & it worsened when I got a debit alert for sms charges

"My bank had to remind me of my poverty" I thought.

Na wa!

I'd barely settled when my phone rang, I looked to see who it was & it was Progress again - I wanted to ignore but I know he'd blow up my phone so I picked

He asked about the previous night & I told him it was a long story;

"Wetin you dey do?"

"Why?"

"I dey Ajah"

"And so?"

He told me about a guy (Solo) who he just met; who also Promised him a huge amount of money, "him wan propose to him Americana" he said

He asked me to come keep him company at the restaurant while he plots to collect the money from the guy, I thought about it for a minute;

"Ok"

I took my time to freshen up & later met up with Progress at the entrance of NK Restaurant, Ajah - as we walked in to the restaurant Progress tapped me;

"No be your babe be that?"

"Which babe? She dun breakup with me"

"See, but na Lizzy be that"

I looked & I saw Lizzy sitting

I hadn't seen her since she broke up with me shortly after coming back from the U.S., I wanted to move closer when I saw a guy kneel before her with a ring

"What's going on here?" I thought, I looked around to see if Coby was shooting a music video..

"Yes! I do!" Lizzy screamed

"Guy! Na the guy dey propose to your babe o!" Progress shockingly said as he tapped me,

"Which guy?"

"That my guy wey no be my guy"

"Guy you know about this thing?"

"I swear I no know say na your Lizzy"

I looked back inside & people were clapping & snapping

"So it's true?"

I finally pulled myself together, walked in & went straight to Lizzy & her fiance - "Congrats" I said as I brought out my hand to shake the guy, he shook me back & I could see the shock on Lizzy's face when she saw me.

I smiled at them both, "I wish you all the best" I said..

As I made a U-turn to leave I bumped into a lady who was screaming "congrats bestie!", I turned to see who it was -

Angela!

"Oh baby you're here" I said as I raised my head up, "Who's your baby?" She replied

"Yes, who's your baby?" A male voice followed up

"Ehn?"

I stood up properly & looked up, I saw this giant looking guy standing beside Angela

"Oh sorry, I meant Barbie not baby" I responded with ultimate focus & respect for bouncers, I composed myself & dashed out

"My life us ruined, my village people have caught up with me" I wailed

"Guy wait!" Progress said as he tried to stop me, I "Guy I swear I no know"

"How you go take know, when na everybody you go dey sabi?"

I luckily found a keke & found my way out of that environment - leaving Progress behind.

"I think I need to go back to my village to beg"..

I finally got home & the first thing I did was to bath away the bad lucks I'd experienced, I freshened up & had dinner to calm me down.

It was soon time to sleep so I grabbed my phone, I opened my WhatsApp & saw a text from Gloria;

I replied, she texted back!

We got talking..

She told me her husband died 7 years ago & never had another man since, we got to know each other better - understanding her made me develop a soft spot for her.

We talked for about 5 hours before I finally slept off, the next day I woke up to a text from Progress.

"Call me G!"

I picked up my phone & called him, "Guy I am finished!" Progress wailed as he picked - "I know you're finished, I just dey manage you" I replied.

"Guy I serious, I dun die!"

"Wetin happen?"

"Solo dun dupe me"

"Solo wey tell Wizkid say him no go blow?"

"No"

"So which Solo?"

He then explained how he gave Lizzy's fiance N50,000 to organise the engagement party, "him say when him change dollars to Naira him go pay back" he added.

"I no understand"

"Lizzy na U.S. citizen?"

"No"

"No wonder!"

"Wonder wetin?"

"Him think say she be citizen o!"

"How?"

He further explained how he met Solo through a friend; who told him how Solo had met an 'Americana' that he intended to marry for green card.

"Eziokwu?"

"So when him tell me say the babe dun finally gree for am I congratulate am"

"Ehen?"

"So him come say make I borrow am 50k"

"And as Dangote wey you be, you borrow am"

"Him say him go pay me 1million"

"So where the 1 million"

He then said he must collect his money, "I check am for him house & I realise say him no dey live there" he added.

"This is serious" I thought

"I dey come your side now sef"

Before I could further ask questions he ended the call, I looked at my messages again & saw a text from Gloria - I responded & before I knew it I was back in bed texting Gloria.

I got carried away texting her till i heard a heavy knock on the door

"Who's there?"

"Guy na me!"

I opened the door speedily after hearing the voice, "Guy shey you sabi Lizzy friend?" Progress said immediately he stepped into the house! I asked why & he said she should know his whereabouts.

"Hmm"

I was texting Gloria so I just asked if Lizzy was around & she said yes.

"Ok"

"Wetin she talk?!" Progress asked & I told him to calm down, "Oboy na ma Oga money I give that guy, I no fit calm down!" He screamed.

I immediately freshened up & I headed to Gloria's with Progress, he was panicking as we walked..

We finally got to the house, went in & knocked!

"I'm coming!" This tiny voice replied, "that must be my Gloria" I thought as the door opened.

"Hello"

"Hi Uche"

I was about to hug Gloria when Progress tapped us back to reality, "please is Solo here?"

She wanted to reply when we heard a voice from inside saying "Stop crying"

"Who's crying?" We asked as we looked inside the house, lo and behold I saw Lizzy drowning in her own tears & Angie consoling her.

"What's going on here, you're friends?" I asked as we stepped in, "they were primary school mates, why?" Gloria asked

"Nothing"

Why is she crying?

Gloria tried mumbling some words but Progress was impatient so he walked straight to Lizzy to demand answers, "He's gone! I've been scammed!" Lizzy cried out

"How?" We asked

She cleaned her eyes a bit & told us how Solo promised her a "happy ever after" but ran with her money!I

"He said he had some money for the wedding but needed extra 1.5 million" she further cried out

"And you gave him?"

"Yes"

"Chineke!! Where's he now?"

"He ran away!"

"How?"

"I went to his house & it was empty, his number is switched off!"

"Wait, you're joking?"

"Nooo!!"

"Money wey my boss give me to play 3 odds for this world cup!" Progress cried out, "I'm finished!" He kept wailing as he placed his hands on his head.

At this point I didn't know how to react, I was so confused that I sat down with hands on my chin.

"How did you fall for this?"

She explained how she'd been talking to the guy on Facebook, he promised to marry her ' "all my friends are married so I wanted to join them" she sobbed.

"He turned on his phone, he's at Ajah!!" Angie screamed while looking at her phone, they had been tracking Solo's iPhone!

"Let me see!" Progress quickly said, he looked at the phone - "this is Chisco park, I know where this is!" He said as he jumped up!

"I'm going there to track him immediately"

"Can I go with you?"

"Yes let's go!"

Progress, Lizzy & Angie dashed out immediately leaving me behind

"Where are you people hurrying to?!" Gloria asked as soon as she stepped out of the kitchen, I wanted to stand up to go behind them & I suddenly felt pain on my leg again.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed & Gloria rushed towards me, "are you okay?" She asked

"I'll be fine"

"Sure?"

"Yes!"

"Well, they'll be fine & probably learn their lesson" Gloria said, I asked what she meant & she said she'd warned the girls severally about fussing over marriage.

"I'm tired of bothering myself" she added

"I made rice, can I get u some?"

"I don't mind"

"Give me a moment"

Ok!

She went in & came out with food, I wasted no time eating it - in a few minutes I was through & she brought out a bottle of red wine & we both drank while enjoying some musicals.

We stalked a bit more & she asked about my relationship with Angie & Mimi, "that's in the past now".

We had barely talked for 30 minutes when we heard a knock on the door, "Who's there?" Gloria asked as she went to open the Door!

"Madam, what do we owe this visit?" Gloria said as she opened the door, I thought you said you were married to Uche" she added

"Married to who?!"

I looked up to see who it was, "Mimi?! How?!" I pondered - as she walked in I saw Solo walk in behind her, "Solo?! What are u doing here?! What's going on here?!" I screamed as I stood up shocked

"You know each other?!" Gloria asked, "yes he looks familiar" solo replied

Thunder

"Are you not Angie's boyfriend?" I asked, "uhm.." Solo stuttered - "Are you the one who is making my daughter's friend cry?" Gloria asked Solo with an angrier look.

"Solo what are these people talking about?" Mimi asked Solo, "it's that girl that u complained stole Uche from u"

"Mimi what's your brother saying?" Gloria said, what, Solo is your brother?!" I asked Mimi & she said Yes - Ehn?

"So you're the one driving my friends crazy?!" I asked & he asked how, I told him how he duped Lizzy of 1.5million & Progress of 50k

"Your phone was tracked to Ajah"

"No, that's the iphone I bought for my mother & I waybilled it for her this morning"

"How?"

"I am here to even pay her back her money, I told my sister that I have completed my mission by snatching her from Uche"

"Wait, this was your plan?" I asked Mimi & she said yes

"Ehn?!"

Mimi then explained that was enjoying our mekwe sessions & I stopped seeing her when I started dating Lizzy, "and now you're now with Gloria again" she added.

"So you ruined our lives because of Mekwe?"

"I'm sorry, it's the devil" Mimi started to cry

"Sorry for yourself!"

Gloria then faced Mimi & they started to quarrel, Solo tried to separate them - we suddenly heard a knock on the door & everybody stopped fighting

"Who's there?!" Gloria said as she adjusted her clothes & went to open the door!

Angie, Lizzy & Progress all walked in the door!!

This is was the part where the drum rolled in suspense!!

"You this baga! Where my money!" Progress screamed as he sighted Solo, "chill young man" Solo replied him as he brought out his phone

"What are u doing here?!" Lizzy said

"Mum how did this bast*rd get here?!" Angie asked

"Relax ladies, im here to return your money" Solo said, let me have yoir account numbers"

"Starting from you Progress, what bank?"

They all stood silent for about 5 minutes, "what is going on here?" I asked & they all 'regained consciousness'.

"Your account numbers!"

"Ok Ok!"

They gave him their account numbers one after the other & he paid them back, he apologised for the damage he caused - saying that his sister put him to it.

"But we are both sorry, we promise none of it would happen again"

"Right Mimi?"

"Yes"

That was how they forgave them.

We did not obviously do a group hug afterwards, but we looked for a way to solve the problem and get on with our lives.

Thanks for reading and retweeting today's episode of #StoryTimeWithUche visit my liked tweets for previous episodes.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY

THE END

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