Thread by @aanupraise

Lagos is a pretty messed up place so this is an experience of a new Lagosian

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads

Things you'd never get to hear about Lagos.

1 . Lagos is not a local government, it is an entire state... People talk about it like the place is small, na lie ohhh. Some people drive 1hr to work every 4am. It's like staying in Effurun and working in sapele. DON'T BE DECEIVED.

2. You don't come to Lagos and buy a house in banana island in 1 year. No allow nollywood deceive you. The hustle is real & brutal if you know what I mean.

3. Things are bloody expensive.... I can't even begin to explain this one. But whoever brought the idea of wrapping 5 green beans in rubber band for 50naira and 6 carrot for 100naira, will not make heaven.

4. The fear of traffic is the beginning of wisdom, you don't just leave your house anyhow. You have to calculate your God given time on earth. Sometimes you carry manual and make sure you plot the graph that will help you maximise your time

5. All these yoruba people are loud. If dem no shout for talk, e never finish. And good lord they can rake for Africa. Wetin people don use take collect slap & bottle for head for Warri, these people still dey talk put.

6. The body odor is real, this state has the highest number of people with body odor. If by any chance you want to take public transport, wear enough perfume to fight the next person's smell away. People hustle so hard that they forget to bathe here.

7. Petrol attendants feel they're entitled to N50 from your petrol cash, so they subtract 50 from the amount you want to buy. You can imagine, na me send you come Lagos ni. Since i asked for my N50 & N20 change from the petrol station on my street & junction, dem no try me again

Then finally we are all mad people. To stay in Lagos you need to be mentally unstable. It is because the people here are not just OK at all. So you have to adapt. Luckily I was born with the rare kind of madness.

So Lagos state....... We all die here

Written by Omaiyenren E.O Modo