I have had the worse experiences of my life relationship wise and I was resolute to let relationship be. As a matter of fact, I decided I would never have anything to do with any woman again.

Betty was so pushy that I was scared but...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads After 4 failed relationships with all my partners cheating on me and leaving me because I was a gentle man, I eventually met Derinsola during a vacation visit to the Bahamas. Being that I love them thick , the click was sleek. Somehow she feel for me aswell

"If you have faith, nothing can move you, no power wether physical or spiritual can scare you" were the last words that came out of Pst Tunde's mouth when heard "poh poh poh kpa kpa kpu kpu" sound of guns in the terbernacle...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads Everybody just went down even before being instructed to do so; the shocking part was that Pst Tunde within this few seconds had emptied his pockets, lying face down & begging that his life be spared.

The job offer came with a fat 6 digits salary, official house, official car & a paid house help service. I didn't even bother giving it a second thought before I boarded the bus from Calabar to Abuja... I was frustrated when John Said he's traveled

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads Having been jobless for 6 years, the mouth watering offer that came with the job took away my sense of reasoning. I didn't even bother to call John & inform him I would be staying at his place for the period of the job interview process.

I sat in the examination halls with my eyes pacing about & my heart praying. I looked at my watch & discovered the 7hrs I calculated in my head was just 13mins.

I concluded it was over for me & I'm getting an extra year until...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads Well I attended an expensive private scho close to the house from my kindergarten days up to my primary school. So far amongst the 8 students I always came first undisputed & everyone was sure I was intelligent except my cousin sister who called me local champion.

Janet was a thorn in my life throughout my secondary school days. She was big, ugly & strong. I always imagined how I would deal with her but it all ended in imaginations until I saw her 10 years later looking like freshly baked pie👅👅

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads I transferred to the school from my other school bcos of the same bullying issue. The girl at my other school was bullying me bcos I asked her friend out & didn't ask her out. I had hoped this transfer would be my redemption bcos the lies I told for my dad to transfer me was deep

I've always thought my choices were wrong but this time it felt too good not to be right. She was against my choice of being a Masseur but I was hell bent on doing that which brings me joy & income.

As I entered, she shut the door behind me & said...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads Randa and I have been dating for 2years & everyone around us have been expecting us to consolidate things in marriage. She was ready, her family was ready, my family was ready, I was ready but my account balance didn't seem ready.

#RantivityThursday

Seriously writing,

There is a huge difference between satire/sarcasm and senseless, messageless and unnecessary jokes!

Sadly, many Nigerians don't understand this.

#JosiahsThreads There are so many issues of national, religious and sociocultural importance that have been sacrificed on the altar of memes and jokes.

This is bcos out of a desire to be funny, many of us have taken to making jokes out of the serious issues, thereby watering down their gravity

All I needed was a shoulder to cry on but the tenderness of the chest she placed my head on made everything go away. While everything was gradually going away, she added a peck to it & took me inside her compound.

#JosiahsThreads the Pt2 Running away for my dear life was all that mattered now since Ebuka was bent on killing me. I called Stanley my friend in Lagos that I was coming over after explaining the situation to him. He mocked by telling me that it's "bress & yansh" that will kill. He said I could come.

So Anita my neighbour's girlfriend came to see on that Monday morning and their gate was locked.

I watched her wait in for almost 2hrs & I could literally see the frustration on her face so I decided to be a good samaritan by opening my gate for her...

#JosiahsThreads Anita is that kind of girl that causes wahala for all the guys anytime she comes around. The rear kind that has beauty, perfect front & visionary backyard. We created a whatsapp group for guys in the area bcos of her

Dear guys, don't be shy or feel less of man when you get raped. You can call out that girl, friend, auntie or bestie. Guys get raped too you know let me share a friend's story here... Daniel was a hot shot back then in secondary school, a very fine boy (half cast- Father Scottish mum Nigerian) and since he was an only child the mother spoilt him with love and money. All the girls were always all over him.

Lagos is a pretty messed up place so this is an experience of a new Lagosian

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads Things you'd never get to hear about Lagos.

1 . Lagos is not a local government, it is an entire state... People talk about it like the place is small, na lie ohhh. Some people drive 1hr to work every 4am. It's like staying in Effurun and working in sapele. DON'T BE DECEIVED.

Drop one English word that will make people confused.

Mine: floccinaucinihilipilification antidisestablishmentarianism

As I entered the mall to do some grocery shopping, I was amazed when all the guys in the hall started starring at me. I know I'm a fine man but to get the attention of fellow guys was quite something. It was OK until one guy grabbed my butt...

Issa thread #JosiahsThreads The night before was a battle that I would never forget, our 7 years old marriage was at the verge of collapse and from all indications I am to blame even though I really don't know how all these came to be in the first place.

RT this and I'll draw your avi Those of you consciously going to change your avi to something complex are you people not wicked like this??😭😭😭

This thread is the story of a resident of Bukuru in Plateau state about how these attacks are not new to them. Please take your time to read well and retweet let other Nigerians and the world know that life means nothing in our country right now #PlateauKillings #JosiahsThreads It was a beautiful Sunday evening and we had all returned from church. As the custom in our family is, all my siblings and their kids came home to see their grandpa, my dad and we were gusting while having dinner.

We finished the 5th round and I was exhausted, famished, drained, used, and empty, and all I wanted to do was rest but Uduak came out & asked, are you ready for the next round?? I desperately needed a job because it was 2years after my NYSC and Calabar is not a cheap place to stay. I became very active in church with the hope to get good reputation that could get me a job and as Gawd would have it, it worked out for me.

#JosiahsThreads

My testimony goes like this... Service starts by 7am but because I spent the better part last night finishing up a story "assignment" for my nephew, I woke up late and got to church late(which is very unlike me).

#Joshsthreads
We trooped in our numbers to the departmental office when we heard that the results have been released. I was happy in my mind because I know I prepared very well for the exams and I was sure I would be one of the best. As it so happened, the result board showed something entirely different. I didn’t only fall behind expectation, I had a carry over. Mhen, this broke my heart, center kidney and top right lungs

It was during the era of the BVN madness, I had just been employed a adhoc staff for one of the banks as BVN officer. The pay was trash but I needed something to get along do I jumped at the opportunity when it came. Being a BVN officer gives you opportunity to encounter different people of different class and social status; with the kind of people that came for registration, I was dead sure I would meet a "story changer". Brothers and sisters, it's years after and I'm still waiting for that story changer.

I was drinking the pepper soup before she entered the bathroom. I walked towards the fridge to get cold water and as I turned back, I dare stepped out of the bathroom and the towel on her chest fell off revealing the Lawd's handiwork Let me back up a bit from here to how I met Idara and what brought us to this point. Mind you, she's pretty, intelligent, financially comfortable and a people's person.