Chef Shwasty Profile picture
Jul 7, 2018 81 tweets 21 min read Read on X
Awright, here we go. The epic conclusion to the #HungerGamesLiveTweet series, either the finale playing as of right....

......

....

..

.......... Now

Let's do this.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I seriously don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my day after this
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Damn, Pita really went full ham on her neck. Shit's fucked.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"We're sorry, miss, your dreams of becoming an opera singer are no longer viable"
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Pita just learned that his whole family is dead from the girl he tried to kill's younger sister.

Life is weird.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Shit he is FULL brainwashed. That... Yeah, that's pretty depressing
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Its still kinda weird to me that the EXTREMELY Boston chick from 30 Rock is the leader of the resistance

I keep waiting for her to just bust out the full Boston on the troops
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"Its like kissing someone while drunk, it doesn't count"

Well now we know what Eyebrows has done in his spare time while Kat's out saving the world.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh shit it's Brienne of Tarth!

You think I suck with names? It took me like 6 seasons to know all the Stark names... I really suck.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The resistance has planes that have like 10 of those Gatling BRRRRRRT guns on em. This should be a quick revolution.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Woah the fuck? Why are the new rebels so against Kat?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

OH SHIT KATNISS DOWN
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Motherfucker poisoned his own general

HOW IS THIS DUDE STILL IN POWER
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Kat's alive but damn is she bruised. Looks like the time I fell off a roof. Ick.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

When Pita isn't trying to kill Kat, he's just fucking insulting her to her face. Dude is full goddamn hatred.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ayyy my boy Finn is gettin hitched. Good on ya, you wirey little ball of hair product.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Please don't fucking Red Wedding this. Let it be. Just make it through.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I don't get dancing, man. Its weird.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Wtf is she doing in the armory

Ah fuck she's sneaking to the front lines
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They have, like... A LOT of rebels.

Like........ a LOT of fucking rebels.

At this point, they could probably just ignore the Capitol, find their own land further away, and starve em out.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Lieutenant Mitchell and Jackson.

In a world of Finnicks, Katnisses, Peetas, and other ridiculous names, these fuckers are Mitchell and Jackson.

Red shirt alert.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"This pill will kill you instantly..."

*sounds of Katniss chewing in the background*

"... If you're captured are you FUCKING KIDDING ME KATNISS"
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

The Rebel's Seal Team 6 is walking in the middle of the street in broad daylight behind enemy lines and brought a camera crew.

Maybe the rebels don't stand as much of a chance as I thought.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They brought Pita?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I know they're trying to get footage to be inciting rebellion, but I'm like 80% sure there's only like 6 people left in the Capitol anyways.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"Your favorite color is orange, but not bright orange. A soft orange, like a sunset."

The fuck kinda sunset has she seen where a sunset is a not-bright orange. It's literally the fucking sun.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Nobody's died in a while...
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God dammit. I think I just killed Cottonmouth. Fucking shit.

I'm totally to blame for this. I really liked him.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

These traps are no fucking joke. They're flooding everything with oil now.

Oh god, and someone just got got BAD.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

And Pita went a little psycho for a minute there. No big. All sedated now.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

These guys can't stop getting at each other's throats for ten seconds.

KNOCK IT OFF. SOLVE PROBLEM FIRST. PISSING CONTEST LATER.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Welp and they just exploded the shit out of the twin blondes. RIP.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I feel so fucking bad for Pita, man.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

OH SNAP THE REBELLION HIJACKED THE STREAM
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Why does this just feel like bullshit campaigning?

This makes me uncomfortable.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Old man Snow is getting more and more senile.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

As much as I want to trust Pita... I can't trust him for a fucking second
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"We've got to go!"

"What's the fastest way out?!?"

Everyone proceeds to walk as slow as humanly possible.

Hell yeah, escape
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This is very tense and I have a bad feeling about Foggy
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

WHAT IN THE UNDERCOOKED FUCK ARE THOSE MONSTROSITIES
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

PITA TO THE FUCKING RESCUE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

FINN IS SUCH A BADASS

CAPSLOCK
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

What

God dammit

GOD DAMMIT

FUCKING FUCK THIS

NOT FINN
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Also, I didn't know the Kajhiit were in this movie.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I'm fucked up about Finn, man.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Like, to the end, and I don't know why, but I thought he was shady

And now I regret that
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Remember that time Ron and Harry stole a flying car? And chocolate frogs?

Yeah. Those were fun.

*denial*
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Also, big flaw on only bringing like 12 arrows. I think she's down to like two.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Pita just loudly exclaimed his plan to commit suicide and it got awks real fast.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ah yes, the perfect disguise for someone who has their face plastered literally everywhere; HOODS!

GOD why didn't anyone else think if that. They didn't need a big fancy rebellion. Just hoods.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Oh SHIT the rebels are here!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

... And they're basically just firing into the crowd

I don't feel overly well about this anymore
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

And Eyebrows is now captured.

Gj rebels. Gj Mockingjay.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Holy SHIT THEY JUST CARPET BOMBED THE CIVS?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING IN THIS MOVIE ANYMORE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

And they just killed Prim?

CAN SOMEONE PUT THIS TRAIN BACK ON THE TRACKS PLEASE
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

It wasn't the Capitol that did that

Was it
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

My stomach is churning from all this
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

So... What's going to happen with Snow?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Not that he isn't dying already
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Yup

It was the rebels

Fuck me
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Where's Pita? I worry about this...
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I think Kat just dumped Brows.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

There's Pita!

And Woody.

And... Everyone.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I have a bad feeling about this
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

She wants to throw another Hunger Games?

You overthrew this to change it!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

WOAH, KAT VOTED YES?

I literally just yelled at my tv.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

God dammit, you IDIOTS.

I am so fucking mad right now.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

This is basically how the Senate became the Empire ffs
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

I hope she misses

I hope she hits the president
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

YES

YEEEESSSSSSS

DOWN WITH THR EMPEROR
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

How the fuck does this end?
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

How bittersweet.

"Thanks for saving democracy, gtfo"
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Yay the cat lived!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

That's a big kitty
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Ayy Pita came home too!
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

And he's planting primrose

God dammit, I'm not gonna cry
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"You love me: real or not real?"

"Real"
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

They have kids now and I am fully in tears
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Tbh that's one ugly fucking baby though
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

"There are much worse games to play"

Goddamn beautiful.

God. Damned. Beautiful.
#HungerGamesLiveTweet

Roll credits.

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More from @ChefShwasty

Oct 8, 2018
Right, so, my cat's a fucking psychopath

This is going to be a thread, and this is the start

Anyways, so we got Arwen a toy a while back: amazon.com/OurPets-Play-N…

(hOLY SHIT THAT'S A LONG LINK)

It squeaks at the slightest provocation

(Cont'd...)
Like, it squeaks when you pick it up, squeaks when you throw it, squeaks when it bounces, fucker squeaks when you even look at it funny

It doesn't bother me, because Arwen LOVES it. She's happy, I'm happy. I hear her playing with it at night; makes me smile

But...

Cont'd...
Arwen took it last night, and scampered off with it like a proud little huntress I went to bed, and just as soon as I was about to hit the lights, I hear the fucker short circuit

SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK

I sprint out to the front room...

Cont'd...
Read 18 tweets
Oct 3, 2018
Let's talk about embarrassing my annoying coworker

Thanks to the combined efforts of my heroes, @vipbanaangel and @EinganaDragon, a can of surströmming is on its way (which is salt-fermented Baltic herring, and one of the nastiest things on the planet)

But here's the thing...
My coworker (henceforth known as D) is one of those tinfoil-hat wearing nut-jobs that think as soon as his face is on the internet, his identity will be stolen and the government will find him, and his life will be over

That being said, he's agreed to buckle on one account...
"I'd only be filmed if it's for a good cause"

I'm gonna get that in writing

Meanwhile, we're going to be advocating for donation "pledges" for the Oregon Foster Parent Association

This is how I've worked this out:
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2018
Let's have a chat about Halloween movies

We'll do another bracket-style, and I'm thinking 16 movies:

8 Halloween classics
VS
8 scary movies

We'll let the majority decide on what the #ShwastyHalloweenSpecial is going to be, BUT there's another thing to decide (cont'd...)
And that... is the format for it

It can either be a #ShwastyLiveTweet like we're all used to

OR

It can be a live recording like what happened with @GeekGoodness

Which means you'd be able to listen to it at any time. We could also do another giveaway

BUT (more cont'd...)
There's pros and cons for each style

#ShwastyLiveTweet Pros:
-More generally accessible
-Easier to pick up and put down
-Easy to make a "best of"

Cons:
-Not as immersive
-Not as impulsive
-Not as drunk

(Cont'd...)
Read 4 tweets
Sep 11, 2018
Have you ever had that weird moment of realization that people see you?

Like, okay, hold on

You spend your entire life looking through your own eyes and moving your own limbs. You never see your facial reactions. You don't see how you walk, you just feel it.
And then you walk in front of a mirror and think, "fuck, this is what people are looking at?"

So you make a couple of the same gestures and faces in the mirror that you did with other people to see if they look weird

BUT THAT MAKES IT WEIRDER
And then you go back out and start trying to act natural like you didn't just have this exestential crisis of self and identity and are trying to play it cool

Meanwhile you're freaking out wondering if people feel the same way about their own emotive physicality
Read 5 tweets
Sep 2, 2018
Alright, so "Lost World"

I'm purposely not reading ANYTHING on the box, but I did see "4 years later" before I closed it

So the park has been abandoned for four years im assuming? And I'm hoping like a motherfucker @jeffreygoldbIum is in it

#JurassicParkLiveTweet starts NOW!
#JurassicParkLiveTweet

Shit it's been a while. I'm like... A little nervous?
#JurassicParkLiveTweet

Oh hey is that the same island from Lost?
Read 91 tweets
Jul 21, 2018
#ShwastyLiveTweet of #JurassicPark starts NOW

I know this movie is about a dinosaur island, which would been a less appealing name for the movie

I don't know any of the actors in it, or ANYTHING. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say something goes horribly wrong, though

HIT IT
#ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

I'm prepared y'all
#ShwastyLiveTweet #JurassicPark

This is some ominous ass music man.
Read 102 tweets

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