https://twitter.com/egoinflux/status/1016158500458811392

A few days ago, I chose to be vulnerable and share something intimate about myself in response to @WilGafney's thread containing highlights from her book, #WomanistMidrash (which jumped to the top of my "to buy" list).

What I expected was, perhaps, a few "likes" and re-tweets, and I got those. My hope was that I would be an encouragement to a few people, and I think that happened, too. What I didn't expect was my first experience of being bullied online.

One Twitter user shared my post specifically for the purposes of "siccing his dogs" on me. As a result, over and over, people cursed me, insulted me, made light of things I care about, called me a "heretic," and proclaimed I was destined for hell.

It was hurtful, emotionally, but it also had an adverse affect on my mental health. I live with type 1 bipolar affective disorder every day, but I am also a survivor of spiritual abuse, having grown up in a religious sect that regularly threatened children with damnation.

My therapist has compared it to growing up in a war zone, becoming unnaturally accustomed to the constant, looming threat of destruction hanging over my head. I lasted in this environment a long, long time. It's a wonder I ever escaped at all, but I did, and at a great cost.

I grew to hate God, religion, the church, etc. and took up the mantle of Atheist for about a decade. Then, a little over 3 years ago, I came back to faith after having a mystical experience, my own little Great Awakening. It changed me and set me on a new path of loving-kindness.

It was almost a year after God's grace took hold of me before I finally tried going to church again. I wanted nothing to do with anything that resembled in any way my fundamentalist Pentecostal roots. So, when my wife suggested I try the small Anglican church in our town, I did.

You know what happened that night? Oh, there were songs and prayers and a sermon, of course—I expected those. What I never expected was what happened last, at the very end of the service. Our priest, @FrMbaker, raised his hands and spoke this over all of us:

"And as you go out from this place, may you always remember the gospel, that God was in Christ Jesus, reconciling the world to himself, not counting men's sins against them. God loves you, God has forgiven you, God is not mad at you, and he will never leave you or forsake you."

And I have received that same blessing at the end of every service since. It's a blessing I desperately need to help me overcome my past, so I can move toward a future with God in my life, a God who is always, always Love.

To the ones who caused me harm this week, to the ones who wished me ill will, I sincerely pray that the grace of God would overtake you, that you would be drowned in kindness, compassion, and love, love, love.

Grace and peace to you all.