Thread by @UchennaNG

"1 unread" I saw on my mail notification one morning, I hate having unread messages so I quickly unlocked my phone to read

It was from my client, he said he found a "cheaper supplier"

I was sad because I'd placed all hopes on this deal

You again?😭

Thread

#StoryTimeWithUche

I tried to reply but I immediately got a phone call from my younger brother, "My data has finished" he said during the call & I told him I'd heard him.

I dropped the call & didn't bother replying, I decided to tweet a bit so I go to twitter; I checked my inbox & saw new messages

"Bro Uche help me with my school fees" one read, it ended with account details & I just smiled & ignored. I post a few thoughts, as I went to my notifications I saw a reply that read "make I send account number?"

I just went off twitter & straight to WhatsApp to reply texts!

Before I navigated to my WhatsApp I got a text from my bank, I check & realised I'd been debited for "card maintenance". I saw my account balance & it dawned on me that I was broke.

I had hoped on the deal to work, now I was dealing with frustrating demands that I couldn't meet.

I became frustrated & dropped my phone to go wash my face & get breakfast, I got to the kitchen & realised the fridge was empty

"What's going on?" I thought, I went to the food shelf to look & all that was left were a few grains of rice.

"My village people please forgive me !"

I stood there for a while wondering what to do, I thought of who could give me money & I realized there was actually nobody

I thought for a few more minutes & tried to be logical, I ranked my needs & requests in order of 'priority'

But i decided to buy food with the whole money

I decided to grab my phone to play some music while I washed my face to get some minor food supply, as I unlocked my phone I saw a missed call from Progress

I called him back & he couldn't speak loud, I asked what the problem was & he said he was broke

"I never chop for 3 days"

I asked why he'd been quiet about it, "I no wan disturb" he replied in a low tone again.

"Disturb me?" I thought

I asked him to send his account number & He sent a an account detail with a different name, "na my guy account) he wrote in bracket so Ignored I sent him some money.

I told him it was fine & ended the call, I decided to go to the mall to get some food supply. I wore something casual, grabbed my headphones & walked down to the mall.

As I stepped into the mall I got a call from an unknown number, I picked up & it was a male voice;

"Hello"

He introduced himself as Mike and said he got my number from an acquaintance, "I want to run a digital marketing campaign" he said.

He asked If we could meet & I immediately said yes, "new income" I thought - I excitedly changed my initial shopping plan & get just snacks & soda.

I finished shopping & went home straight to eat & freshen up for my new meeting, I soon got set & set out to meet with Mike at an address he had sent to me earlier.

In about an hour I got there & met with Mike, "thanks for coming sir, it's a pleasure to meet you"

"Call me Uche"

He took me into an office & by the time we got talking I realised I'd wasted time & money I didn't have to come there, "we're just starting out sir" he said as he offered me N10,000

"10k for all these work?" I asked & he tried to plead, I became further angry but I just smiled.

I tried to make him understand that his offer was unacceptable, "if it's something I can do I'll do it" I added in a bid to politely reject Mike's offer

He stopped trying to beg & listened to my genuine feedback

"I understand"

Thanks for understanding

I said my goodbye & left

On my way home I decided to open Facebook to see if there were any important birthdays I was missing, immediately I opened the site the first post I saw was from Joe

Joe was a boy I met in a bus to Asaba few years back, I sent him money from to time while he was an undergraduate

"NYSC Loading" he wrote with a photo of him smiling, I liked the photo & checked my inbox; to my greatest surprise I got a message from Progress.

"Guy meet me for our usual, important meeting" he wrote

"What's going on?"

I called his phone but it was switched off.

While pondering on what was going on I decided to head home, on my way home I stopped by to meet with Progress for proper explanation.

I soon got to the joint & didn't sight Progress, I looked around for him & suddenly I saw him with 2 ladies & bottles of drinks in front of them

"So I sent this boy money & he's buying drinks for women?" I thought, I decided to calm down a bit & approach them first.

"This is Uche" he said as he introduced me to 'Debbie' & 'Joan', 'this boy is buying red wine for these his 'children of wobe' I thought

"Hi ladies"

I sit!

"Bar man!" Progress shouted, I calmly told him that I didn't want anything to drink - "Guy forget!" He dismissed & asked the bar man to bring me 2 big bottles of Heineken

"What's going on here?" I thought, I wanted to react but I couldn't so I stayed calm.

My drinks soon came!

Immediately the bar man opened my drinks I got a phone call from Joe, in the heat of the whole confusion I picked

"Bros Uche"

"Joe"

We talked for a bit & he said he saw that I liked his photo on Facebook, "I'm going to Bayelsa & I'm still trying to raise money" he added;

"Ok"

I promised to send him some money too & he almost started dancing on the phone, "God will bless you bros" he replied with excitement. We ended the call, I opened my bank app & immediately sent him some money.

I was left with just N5,000 after the transfer & it made me furious!

"Guy abeg show!" I tapped progress in a bid to start tackling my problems, "excuse me ladies" he said as we went aside

"Guy wetin dey happen?" I asked, "you say you never chop & you dey flex with food money wey I send" I added

"Who tell you say I never chop?" Progress replied

"No be you I follow talk this morning?"

"Me wey my phone dun loss"

"How?"

"Wetin be how?"

I told him that we spoke earlier & subsequently sent him money, "Guy you dun enter one chance, my phone loss for road this morning" he replied & I knew I'd been duped;

"Jesus"

"Christ"

He told me to forget about the missing phone for now that I needed to meet the girls 'properly', the money I sent was more important to me than his missing phone but I kept calm

We went back to join the ladies & finally got talking, I apologised for the 'mini drama' too

It's ok

"Progress here has told us a lot about you, we think you will be perfect to be in his campaign team" Debbie said, "which uncle? What campaign?" I asked surprisingly & progressed immediately tapped me to keep quiet

"No cast" he whispered & I smiled, "I'll be glad to be" I replied

"I see you're not really familiar" Joan said, she explained who they were & I realised I was sitting with sisters of a 'big' politician from Delta state.

"My brother would like to meet with you soon" Debbie said, "is tomorrow okay?" She asked & I calmly said yes.

"Perfect!"

We continued chilling & it was soon time to leave when I got a text from my friend - 'The Magic; "we are heading to the show" he wrote

"Damn I totally forgot"

There was a show in Lekki where my crew were billed to perform & I had accepted to host it for a fee

"Income at last"

I called back to ask where they were & he told me, coincidentally it was close by so I asked to stop by the joint & pick me.

He agreed

While I was waiting for them I tapped Progress who was lost in cloud of laughter, "wetin you say do your phone?" I asked

"Dem dun tif am"

I asked where he lost the phone & he said it was at a party, I asked why he hadn't retrieved it & he said he had been busy

"Na this deal I dey pursue, I know say you fit handle am" he said, I thanked him for chasing deals for me

"Why you dey thank me, if you blow I dun blow na"

The Magic soon arrived with Deco & Edwizz who were rappers, I left my contact with Debbie; excused myself & left with them.

We slowed down in traffic to buy water as we drove to the venue, we finished buying & immediately we left the traffic a car overtook us & parked in front!

2 men immediately came out of the car, pulled out their guns & pointed it at us; "if you move I shoot!" one of them said

"Armed robbers?!" I wailed, "no be thief" Deco replied - "na SARS" he added. We pulled over & stepped out of the car as instructed by these rugged looking men

The men started to ask us individually who we were & what we did for a living, they pointed at 2 of my guys who had dreadlocks

"What do you do for a living?!"

"I'm an artiste"

"You're a liar, Yahoo boy like you!"

"I'm not a Yahoo boy sir!"

"Shut up! Bring your phone!"

They took our phones & started to check, I told them we were heading for a show - luckily The Magic had a flyer of the show with his photo on it so he show them.

They looked inside the car & saw a guitar at the back seat, looked at us & told us that we had to give them money.

"Sir we're in a hurry & we don't have much" I said as I brought out my wallet to give him all the money I had, "Who you dey give this yeye money?!" One of them screamed at me

"So as una big like this no money?" He asked, "ATM dey there make we go" he added

"But sir please.."

As we were still contending with the SARS officials a car pulled over, "good afternoon sirs" Papyfire said as he came out of the car

"Sir we are artistes & we have a show now" he added as he showed them some flyers, other guys came out & we now outnumbered these men.

"Artises?"

"Yes sir & we are late!"

"These ones na bad market" one of them said as they had no choice to let us go at this point

"Oya bring that money"

They took the last cash in my wallet & zoomed off, we also hurriedly left the scene in convoy as we tailed Papyfire!

"This SARS people"

We soon got to the venue & parked, got down & went in. Luckily we had left a bit earlier for the show so there was a little time to coordinate things.

I walked towards the backstage & heard a familiar voice, I walked closer & saw this guy making a phone call & backing me

Suddenly (somebody say suddenly!)

He turned his back & to my greatest surprise it was Mike!

"Mike?!"

"Oh Uche!" he replied shockingly, I asked what he was doing here & he started to stutter.

"Uhm.." he tried to reply when I heard someone shouting from the hall

"My Money o!"

I was startled at first but quickly regained focus, I made a turn to see who who was making so much noise at this beautiful event that was about to start

Progress!

"Progress again? How did he get here again?" I thought

As I turned to talk to Mike I got a shocker;

He was gone!

I became shocked, scared & confused at the same time; I had had a very weird day & was getting frustrated.

"I wouldn't have picked when my aunt called from the village the other day" I thought, "now these village people have remembered me" I thought again as I walked out.

I walked towards Progress, as I moved closer I saw him wailing in silence like a man whose wife just died

"What's the problem?"

As I moved a bit closer to his table I saw 2 ladies sitting & telling to calm down

Debbie & Joan again?!

"You guys didn't say you were coming here!"

I looked at Progress & he had his gaze fixed at a small Nokia phone on his hand, "a friend said it would be nice so we came" Joan said - "but we stopped to retrieve his sim at the mall" Debbie added.

I started to wonder when Progress met these girls that they were already 'pals'

"Wetin happen?" I asked Progress & he showed me his inbox, I saw recharge card codes from various numbers & also debit alert from his bank.

"Gone! All my masters school fees!" Progress replied with so much agony in his eyes, "Master's school fees?"

"Yes, my MSc school fees!"

I asked what exactly was going on, reminding him that I also sent some money to him earlier - while trying not to ruin the overhyped reputation that I was sure Progress already sold them on my behalf

He paused a bit, then finally explained how he lost his phone at Debbie's party

"And you started looking for it after you left Michael" Debbie said to Progress, "exactly!" Progress replied. I asked why he didn't block the line immediately or do something about it

"I've been having a great time with these ladies & forgot about it!" He replied

"Just lukatew"

I turned to look at the girls & Debbie immediately spoke, "It's Joan you should look at, since we came from Asaba it's been them both" she said.

"I don't trust that Michael boy" Joan said, "he looks like a thief!" she added.

"Michael? But he's a cool guy" Progress cut in

Ehen?

"Okay okay, it's okay" I said, someone should calm down & tell me what exactly is going on so that we could solve this problem.

Progress then explained how he met Debbie & Joan at Asaba, attended 'their party' & lost his phone;

"Now all my money is gone!" Progress wailed

While I was still trying to process the whole info I heard Debbie exclaim; "hope it's not that boring MC from the party again?" She said pointing at the stage!

I became further confused as I was supposed to be the MC, "excuse me ladies" I said - "don't stay too long" Debbie said

"I'd be back asap" I said to Debbie & told Progress that I'd be back shortly, I dashed towards the back stage & when I got there I noticed some little chaos.

I walked closer & to yet another shocker; I saw Mike & a funny looking guy, "you again?!" I said to Mike...

Suddenly!!

Someone tapped me from behind, I'd had too many shocking experiences in one day & was almost getting paranoid

I turned back to see who it was & it was one of the show organisers, "sorry for the misunderstanding, you can start the show now" he said

"Which misunderstanding again?

I grabbed the Mic, went to the stage, greeted the increasing audience & started the light event properly.

Everything went well, artistes performed & where given loud applaudes. I went to Debbie a few times when I was a little idle, we vibed well & the evening was chilled

We soon finished the show & packed to leave the venue, I went back to join Progress & the girls - Debbie asked where I lived & I told her, "It's not so far, we could still chill tonight"

"Absolutely!"

I looked at Progress & his face was painted with sadness

"Chai!" He murmured

"How do I start explaining to these people that I didn't ask for money? How did he even get my password & pin?" Progress grumbled, "those are the questions u should be asking!" I replied!

"It's true o!" Debbie & Joan both reacted, "did you give anybody your atm card?" Joan asked

Progress was about to speak when I sighted The Magic; "Bro we're leaving" he said & I told him I was still chilling

"Ok bro" he said, out of curiousity I asked what happened earlier at the backstage

"Na that guy carry one clown to MC this event behind us" he said;

"Which guy?"

He immediately pointed to this guy & the clown looking guy from earlier who was a bit far away, it was dark but I looked closer to confirm my worst fears

Mike again?!

"You sabi am?" Magic asked

"Wait! Is that not Michael?!" Debbie reacted

"The same guy?" Joan asked

It's him!

"Who?!" Joan asked Progress who was looking like he just saw a Ghost, "It's him I gave my atm to withdraw" Progress added.

We all headed towards the same direction as The Magic; who was already going to 'summon' Mike

"Hol up!" Magic said to Mike as he got closer

"Me?"

"Yes!"

Mike made a 180 degree turn to face Magic, immediately he sighted us coming from behind he tried to run away

"If you move!" Magic threatened, "I'm a soldier, I'll drill you tonight!" He further threatened.

Mike stopped, looked at us & started to beg.

"I'm sorry, it's devil!"

We all stood confused as Mike trembled with fear, "Michael what are you doing here?!" Progress asked

"Did you steal his phone?!" Debbie asked furiously, Progress tried to calm her down but she persisted as she got support from Magic who further threatened him.

"Was it you?!"

"Is that not your phone with this clown?" Joan said, We all looked at the "clown's" hands; lo & behold he was holding a phone!

"Na bros Mike give me the phone" the 'clown' said, before I knew it Magic had followed up Mike with 2 hot slaps!

"So you're a thief?!"

"I'm sorry sir"

I tried to calm Magic & others down as I demanded explanations from him, "why did you invite me to your office earlier today?!" I asked

"Will you confess or do we take you to the barracks?" Magic threatened!

"I'll confess!" Mike cried, at this point more people had gathered.

"It's me!" He cried

"It's me that took it!"

Mike confessed how he played nice to Progress at the party just to steal from him.

"Who are you & what were you doing at the party?" Magic asked, Debbie explained how used to be a domestic staff of his brother

"Why steal from him?"

"It's Spako that send me" he stuttered, "he say he want to deal with Progress because he insult him" Mike said

"He said if I don't do it he will kill me!" He added; but this time with a downpour of tears dancing out of his eyes.

"Wait I don't understand, who is Spako?" I asked!

Progress then told me about a student he fought with inside UNILAG when he went to register for his MSc, "so be that small boy send you?!" Progress looked at Mike with anger

"You're dead today, where's my money?!" He said as he approached Mike!

We told him to calm down a bit..

"So what has all these got to do with me?!" I faced Mike who was already ashamed as people had gathered to listen to what was going on, he then said that Spako told him Progress kept bragging about knowing one famous 'Uche'

"Wait, you take my name dey brag?!" I asked Progress!

He told me he just tried to scare Spako away & I was the one he thought of, "Guy why you just dey try end my career?!" I asked Progress

Progress wasn't interested in what I was asking him as he went straight to Mike, gave him more 'dirty' slaps & took every penny he saw on Mike!

"I knew this boy was up to no good!" Debbie said as the crowd pleaded on Mike's behalf, "so all these was just some stupid battle of ego?" I exclaimed!

"I'm sorry sir!" Mike kept pleading, "It's okay you guys should forgive him" Debbie said - "Ehn it's okay" Joan concurred

Ehn?

"My school fees!" Progress screamed again & Joan told him to relax, "we'll sort that out later" she said - "let him go" she added.

"Where you the one who also picked when I called this morning?"

"Yes"

"You also tried to steal my gig?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Spako say.."

"Shut up!"

The crowd soon dismissed when they noticed no actions were taken, they looked disappointed like they were expecting some action

We consensually allowed Mike & his clown go, while I was there I got a credit alert from the show organisers

I smiled

"We'll sort it" Debbie said

Ok

I thanked The Magic & every other person for their concern, "what a day this has been" I thought as I looked at Progress who was already smiling as Joan kissed him

"Are you still down for the drink?" Debbie asked, "yes, & the business talk too😁"

"Igbo man"

"Iss nor my fault"

We finally headed to a cool bar nearby to hangout tension free, we chilled, drank & laughed away the pains of the day while Debbie reassured us of finance recovery

Progress left with Joan when we finished, Debbie ended up at my house for prayer meeting..

Of course not!

Mekwe!

SAY NO TO FRAUD
#EndSARS
SAY NO TO ROBBERY AND CULTISM

Thanks for reading and retweeting today's episode of #StoryTimeWithUche

Visit my pinned tweet/likes to catch up on previous episodes from 2017 till date

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THE END! 😁✌

I'll be giving out more recharge cards courtesy of @Jodajoseph1 who is celebration his birthday today, I celebrate him as one of my own.

One of ours!

Happy birthday bro! Long life and good health with plenty money @Jodajoseph1

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