Thread by @subomiplumptre

"He whom the gods want to destroy, they first make mad". I believe this about every service provider in Nigeria who has ever tried to f@$* with me.

I'm typically a low maintenance client. I won't come to your office. I will pay as at when due via transfers. I don't haggle much. I once did steady business with a caterer for 2 years without meeting her once.

All I ask is, "Give me peace of mind" and don't try to screw me over because I don't make trouble. There are 2 service providers that are now my enemies. You take my money and loyalty and give me shitty service in return. God had better hold me.

I will not only out you on these #socialmedia streets, I will also make sure my friends, colleagues, network and enemies don't do business with you EVER. This is Nigeria. Madness will finally jam madness.

The challenge for many Nigerian businesses is scale. You know you can't handle plenty business. You know your staff are not competent enough to work on their own. Yet you take people's money. WHY???

It has now become common practice for me to CHASE my service providers. I'm the one always calling, always emailing. I am now my OWN customer service for a product I have paid for.

When you complain and INSIST on a good job, many service providers in Nigeria resent you. After all, they've done their best, they say. If your best does not solve the problem you billed me for, you have not started.

And stop telling me about the 10 mountains you climbed and 10 rivers you swam to give me crap. Have you solved the problem? Have you?

When a service provider does a lousy job, they RARELY consider that the client is losing money or their brand is suffering. They almost never put themselves in the customer's shoes.

There is a market in Nigeria for people who deliver good service. There is. So many people want quality, integrity and peace and will gladly pay for them.

I typically HATE outing businesses on social media. For all I know, their bad behaviour may be an isolated incident. Maybe they just have one staff with brain touch. But when the behaviour is CONSISTENT and REPETITIVE then I don't owe them consideration.

If you threaten my source of livelihood, my hard earned possessions and my brand with your incompetence, then you don't deserve consideration.

Last month, I decided to treat the people who pay me the least amount of money with the most amount of respect. Why? I've seen TOO MANY Nigerian businesses who tell you to go f@#$ yourself if you are not one of their top paying customers. I don't want to become them.

If you want to provide a premium exclusive service, then be honest. Stop collecting money from those at the lower end of the pyramid and then you turn around to give them shit.

If you don't have time for a customer, say no to their job. They won't beat you. You won't die if you don't collect the job. But don't collect it and then relegate it to unimportance.

And stop this evil practice of switching off your phone. Convey bad news with your chest. Communication is better than being incommunicado.