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Professor Harpy Profile picture
@Professor_Harpy
Jul 23, 2018 • 3 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
1/3 Looking for a job or a better job, or more work? Might I suggest dying your hair some OUTRAGEOUS FUCKING COLOR?!
Formal meeting with the Interim Dean at a local university tomorrow.
"Hi. I'm going through a slight midlife crisis right now, but like - it's the English Department and everyone is supposed to be eccentric right? Emily Dickinson is my favorite poet?"

Every. Goddamned. Time.

#AcademicTwitter #englishprofessorpoblems

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More from @Professor_Harpy

Professor Harpy Profile picture
Jul 31, 2018
Ya'll. The most GLORIOUS thing happened and couldn't have been better timed if I was in a movie with an award winning special effects crew.
Walking into a local cafe to pick up a sandwich order when some cur entering as I'm leaving says to me, "I'd like to see those titties jiggle over my face."
To which I spun on my heels and at the same time as I barked, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!" a gust of wind blew up making my freshly washed (so it's flowy and shit) blue and purple hair swirl around me and thunder cracked over head.
Read 5 tweets
Professor Harpy Profile picture
Jul 17, 2018
I have been sucked in to Lifetime's Escaping Polygamy.
This is what happens when I don't have papers to grade.
OHMYGOD. These young kids are all: I need to leave this cult because it's a life or death situation. And the people rescuing them are like, okay we have 2 minutes. And then the kids are all, "HOLD ON. I NEED TO PACK EVERY GODDAMN THING I OWN."
So these young women are helping other young women (and sometimes young men) leave the FLDS cult.
Read 7 tweets

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