Thread by @elonjames

Today there was a moment where I felt myself becoming "THAT" parent. The snippy a-hole who is telling folks what they need to do with "MY CHILD."

About 15 minutes after the moment I was legit shook because for the first time I understood how one becomes...THAT. #DGProper

And it wasn't even over something that deep!

When we went to pick up my kid from Daycare one of the teachers causally mentions that my kid hadn't been eating the main part of her lunch for the past 4 school days.

This annoyed the holy CRAP out of me. #DGProper

See, I get my kid up, changed, dressed, feed her breakfast and pack her lunch for daycare. Everyday I say "Okay Siddy Bear. What do you want for lunch?" And she says random things. I help her pick what's reasonable, then she makes me SHOW it to her, then it goes in the lunch box.

I've been SO HAPPY that my kid seemed to be out of the "mac & cheese only" phase. She's eating fruits and veggie soup and a few other things. I pack her lunch CONFIDENT that she's having a great meal at school and that she won't be hungry before she gets to dinner. #DGProper

She's been eating us out of house + home after school recently. And I assumed that she was going through a growth spurt. But today when the teacher casually mentions that my kid hasn't eaten the main part of her lunch for 4 days and this was the first I'm hearing of it?

Listen.

Please note. I SPEAK TO THIS TEACHER EVERY DAY. My wife and I pick up the brat together. I speak to her literally everyday there's school. I've heard all sorts of other random factoids about the day or her life but not that my kid hasn't been eating HER ACTUAL LUNCH. Just snacks.

I wasn't rude but I asked the teacher to PLEASE ALERT US IF SHE IS NOT EATING HER MAIN HOT LUNCH. My wife said she knew I was annoyed. And I WAS annoyed. Like unreasonably so. Muttering to myself when we got to the car.

Then about 3 minutes into the car ride I said "OMG."

"THIS IS HOW **THAT** PARENT STARTS!"

Most people don't just pop out the box as a freshly squeezed dipshit. They grow into the role. And they aren't self-aware enough to see that it's happening. Or they DO see it and they think it's necessary.

Because that's what I was doing.

I just unloaded to my wife in the car. Trying to get as much of my annoyance out as possible so that it doesn't build & then "BOOM!" I go all DADDY BEAR,
cussing folks out about my kid. This isn't me. I don't get all passive aggressive. I'm just plain ol' aggressive if need be.

And this one kid keeps running up on me when I pick Siddy up to tell me that my kid took her book. I ask the teacher & to find out IT'S THE CLASS BOOK. This kid is just a snitch. Now I'm giving a child SERIOUS side-eye. Then I thought "THAT'S A CHILD ASSHOLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

It's amazing how the love for your child will literally morph you into an insufferable asshole if you don't stay aware. I was talking to my wife like it was a therapy session about the teacher and the kid. I WAS SO ANNOYED. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 #DGProper

STAY WOKE!

Imma be extra nice to that kid tomorrow. She didn't need all my side-eye for being a snitch. I mean, yes she IS a snitch but she's also 2. I don't know why that annoyed me so much. Running up on me pointing to my kid demanding i take a book she's reading & IT AINT EVEN YO BOOK!

OMG, I'm still slightly agitated.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I can't even tell y'all what I was saying about this poor teacher. I was roasting this woman like I was on Comedy Central. My wife just looked at me in horror. She did not deserve all my ire. 🤣🤣🤣 Thank Hera I kept it to myself until I got to the car. SO MAD. 🤣🤣🤣 #DGProper

This public confession, I hope, keeps me on the straight & narrow. I don't wanna be *that* parent. I mean I'll murder someone and bathe in their blood in the middle of street if you hurt my kid, but just being annoying or not as attentive as i'd prefer ain't worth all my rage. 🤣