So I want to discuss the topic of #ROGD that is being mentioned in #ROGDWEEEK2018.
I realized I was trans when I was around 8-10 years old. Until puberty hit, I was able to justify the difference between my body and my brother's body as us just being born different. 1/
But when puberty hit, it was like everything about myself betrayed who I was. I was growing breasts, I started my period, I started looking more feminine.
Up until my first period, I was able to justify and deal with being trans. When it happened, dysphoria hit with it. 2/
I didn't have any of the signs or symptoms listed today for childhood gender dysphoria, so by the thoughts in #ROGD I would have had rapid onset. It didn't matter that I knew I was trans for a year or more before my first period, my GD was "rapid" and started with puberty. 3/
I never came out to my parents though, not because I feared their reactions, but because I lived during the AIDS scare and it was around 1990-1992 when I realized I was trans. Trans people were still listed with pedophiles in the DSM at this time. 4/
Because I had no safe way to figure out my gender as I grew older, or any way to rationalize my body and how it differed from what people deemed male, I internalized my dysphoria.
TW: Abuse, self harm, suicide
5/
I started cutting myself. I would stab myself with sharp objects, I tried to kill myself multiple times, many of the attempts only I know about. I never spoke with anyone about them for fear of being treated as even more mentally ill than I already was.
6/
There was no way to treat a teenager with gender dysphoria back then because it didn't exist. The DSM at the time treated trans people like some sort of sexually sick person, and treated trans masc people like confused women crossdressers who had daddy issues.
7/
I couldn't get the help I needed.
There were no resources to help me understand what was going on.
So....I forced it down. I tried to pretend to be what everyone said I was.
This made it worse. MUCH WORSE.
8/
I developed severe psychological issues that to this day I'm still struggling with. I started to disassociate and people realized this and used it to abuse me in school.
9/
I was mocked, bullied, and abused by my peers because I tried my best to come to terms with my gender during my high school years. I wore more masc clothing and acted more masc, but this made things worse.
10/
I was sexually abused by my own classmates because "I wanted to be a man."
Let that sink in.
I was raped by my female peers in the girl's locker room. I wasn't raped by my male peers, but my female peers who decided to teach me a lesson.
11/
By the time I reached adulthood I'd become a master at repressing myself. I had so many mental grey areas that I'm still scared to try to work things out so I can remember what happened.
12/
But because of how my dysphoria hit, if it occurred today, I would be classified by these people as having #ROGD or I would be told I'm just part of the #ftmSurge going on. I would be invalidated because I didn't "suffer" they way they think I should.
13/
Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria is junk science, based on an unpublished paper that should be thrown in the trash due to how they went about getting their information. Those of us who realized we were trans in our teens learned how to stealth really quick.
14/
We learned how to hide who we really were if we didn't feel it was safe. The same goes for trans kids today. They aren't "suddenly" becoming dysphoric due to the internet or some other ridiculous claim.
15/
To the parents of trans kids who are looking at #ROGD or #ROGDWEEK2018 for information, I want to tell you something important.
Your kids wait before they tell you they're trans. It's not a sudden thing. They wait until they think it's safe to tell you.
16/
Don't let what happened to me and to many of the other trans people my age who were forced to wait to come out until it was safe (in my case until I was 32). Your kids need to know that you will love them regardless of their gender.
17/
Kids have enough to deal with these days without fearing that their parents won't love them if they come out to them. Instead of sitting there trying to figure out if they have some sort of condition that doesn't exist (#ROGD isn't an actual diagnosis)...
18/
...try listening to your kids. Your kid isn't confused, they're not being turned trans by the school or by the medical field, they're not deciding to become trans due to reading stuff on the internet.
19/
What your kids need when they come out to you is acceptance. If you don't know what to do after they come out, talk with your GP/PCP, talk with other parents of trans kids, but most of all, listen to your kids and help them during this time.
20/
Please, don't do what my generation and the generations before me did to trans kids.
Don't keep them in the closet because you read sensationalized pseudoscience being backed by "doctors" (look at what happened with vaccines from just this sort of thing!)
21/
If it turns out your kid wasn't actually trans, then there is no harm done from you being accepting and giving them a safe setting to figure things out.
But if it turns out they are and you shut them down by claiming they have #ROGD-I pray they don't go the way many of us did.22/
If you've made it this far, thank you. If you would like more information on #ROGD and #ROGDWEEK2018 then please check out the following posts I've made regarding gender, trans issues, and what science understands currently.
23/end
It greets you with a friendly smile and welcomes you inside.
It shows you to so many wonderful places within its abode: portals where you can see images and videos of loved ones and those long past, concert halls that only play the music you wish to hear, social areas where you can get together with and spread your ideas with others.
But the friendly smile and finely tailored suit are nothing more than a disguise, a way for this Eldritch horror to make itself presentable to the public. Strip away its mask and suit and you are exposed to the abyss, its home where only the bravest or most depraved dare venture.
Dear parents of trans kids,
To those of you who are struggling to understand what is going on, who feel that you've received the news that your child is trans like it came out of left field, to those of you who are searching for answers, I want to give you some advice. 1/19
You may feel like your kid has just sprung this on you out of nowhere, you may feel upset or hurt because they're saying (in your eyes) that they are not the child you have been raising. 2/19
You may be asking what you've done wrong or what you've done to deserve a trans child. You may be feeling embarrassed because your own child is now telling you that you've been referring to them in the wrong way for however long it's taken for them to come out. 3/19
Dear anti-trans parents who claim that their children "stopped being trans" because you didn't support it/convinced them otherwise:
Your child is most likely still trans, but they've come to learn that you cannot be trusted and that LYING IS SAFER than telling you the truth.
While some children might be trying to figure out their gender and realize they're cis, if a child comes out to you and you tell them you don't support them and make their living situation hostile and toxic, they will quickly learn that your love is conditional.
Your child will learn that what they are feeling and who they are is so anathema to you that if they want your love they need to lie and pretend to be something they're not.
They will internalize this pain and distrust.
They will learn that lying = safety.
Next time I have someone asking why people don't seek out medical care until it's almost too late I'm just going to bury them in all the doctors bills and collections notices.
If we keep up with the issues we go broke or we are sent to collections, so we're stuck playing this fucked up game of how long can I put this off?
Harvey wound up in the hospital because if this, and already he's in the hole from paying the follow up doctors.
People shouldn't have to be forced to decide between paying bills, having food to eat, or healthcare. People shouldn't be having to resort to GoFundMe for medical care!
Ok, let's break this down (now that I'm on a computer and able to take a screenshot and not RT the fucker. A thread
First off:
WELFARE DOESN'T EXIST! AT BEST YOU CAN GET TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families). PEOPLE DON'T "LIVE ON" WELFARE LIKE THIS ASSHOLE IS CLAIMING.
(thenation.com/article/the-am…)
1
What most people call "welfare" is actually TANF, and the emphasis on that one is on the word TEMPORARY. As in you can't "live off of it" like people like Kirk claim. The "welfare" that many of them think of ended back in 1996, when I was a freshman in high school.
2
#WhitenessToldMe that only bad people are arrested or detained by police. Reality showed me how bullshit that was when a cop made my husband lie on the ground with his hands behind his head because he "looked suspicious."
We were literally just walking home from the minute mart down the road, yet this cop felt that my husband was suspicious and needed to be not only frisked, but made to lie on the ground face down while the cop ran his name.
You know who DIDN'T have that happen to them?
Me, the fucking American saltine who makes bleached chalk look tan. No, I got to stand there and watch while this happened, and was even treated like I was some sort of fucking victim of this man who I was with.