Thread by @jackmurphylive

Gen X mom’s hosting birthday party:

Time, date, location, schedule, attire, drop off ok or not, fixed time period, food served - all in evite. Once there - runs like German train system.

Millennial mom’s hosting party:

I dunno, just come over. Once there. Shitshow.

Gen X - rents space in private facility. Gets there early. Sets up. Ready to go thirty min before first guest arrives.

Millenial -tells people to meet at public space. Shows up late. No space for party. Spends half of allotted time looking for new space and tracking down guests

Gen X - schedule of activities. Orderly and logical progression of events.

Millennial - 🤷‍♂️

Gen X - plans event during lunch time. Provides lunch.

Millennial - plans event during lunch time. Wait, are you hungry?

Semi related -

What the hell is up with goodie bags at a kids birthday? This ain’t the oscars. These kids don’t need swag just for being five.

It’s worse than a participation trophy. And only getting worse.

#GoodieBagArmsRace

My gf @The_Red_Hen is the best. We are on the same page in every way.

I’m a father of three. Been doing this a while. Yet current dad culture seems so foreign. The way they dress, talk, talk to children, interact with their wives, their environment, + just how they stand + appear to the world - All seems like a foreign (shit hole) country to me.

I can still find something interesting even in a sea of banality :

All these dads here:

99% of them have never been in a gym.

100% of them kowtow to their wives and children.

0% have any chemistry with their wives.

All of them probably think I’m a douche bag.

The irony is that these are the 1%. These are corporate lawyers and tech people. High level government officials and think tank folks. World Bank and private equity.

Yet. All. So. Soft. And. Unhappy.

Oh snap. I’ve deduced its time for pizza? because the hostess wandered away from the group silently and started eating with the birthday girl.

Clear and concise leadership!

You never know how many women follow you until you start talking about kid’s birthday parties.

Spotted. The siren call for basic bitches in Washington DC:

Shocking update:

The pizza ran out with everyone standing there with empty plates looking for slice number two.

But hey. At least they have

Pizza update: everyone still hungry. Ordered more pizzas but due to artesian-ness of the pizza it’s taking an hour.

Daughter had two cupcakes though so naptime should be lit.

Whoa. This tweet thread has taken off.

Was just spotted in public because of it.

I’m chatting up one of the moms and a reader walks up and says “are you jack?!”

Then I had to explain the truth about my identity.

Turns out, she is on our side.

#whoknew?

I’d been having a lovely convo with this mom and then the guy comes up and says “are you Jack?”

I take him off to the side for a short chat.

When I return to the table, mom is twirling her hair and says, “are you famous?”

After I explained to her the whole doxing fiasco she googled me on the spot.

She looks up and says, “man this world has gotten so messed up!”

To be honest, I’m floored that this is how the big reveal went.

There are sane people among us. It just takes a risk to find them.

All in all party turned out ok. I got two slices of pizza. Daughter got her face painted by some random passer by. The kids all swam in something I think was a pool. A reader got to meet me. A mom found out I was infamous. And at the end of the day I surprised by humanity. 👍👍

Oh yeah. I wrote a book too. It’s kinda funny like this thread. But not really. You should buy it though, lots of other people have. And they kinda liked it:

amazon.com/Democrat-Deplo…